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Original poster

Asked to put preferred pronouns on email signature

441 replies

Ermokthen · 03/08/2020 17:03

Just had an email from team leader following a diversity workshop that she’d like us all to put our preferred pronouns on our email signatures, as this was a suggested take home action.

Other members of team already responded, some enthusiastically, others clearly not bothered and just going along with team leader.

I really don’t want to do this and have no idea how to respond without being targeted as any number of negative things. Help please...

But just so I can sense check - aibu not to want to put she/her etc after my (very feminine and not to be confused otherwise) name on my email signature?

OP posts:
Smallsteps88 · 04/08/2020 10:45

Why fight it at work? I would just go along, is it really hurting you?

Interesting how a movement that purports to be about people identifying however they prefer insists that others must identify in a way the movement prescribes, rather than how they themselves prefer.

FrippEnos · 04/08/2020 10:48

or who are trans and don’t pass

I didn't know that there was a Gandalf option.

If pushed just use

HRH, Sire and your majesty.

MarshaBradyo · 04/08/2020 10:49

It’s important people don’t just comply.

SerenityNowwwww · 04/08/2020 10:50

You can’t sleep walk into this one. We don’t need to be just nice anymore. People who demand you do as asked and be nice aren’t doing this for your benefit.

SerendipityJane · 04/08/2020 10:57

I work in an industry where men outnumber women 2 to 1 on frontline operations and 9 to 1 in the engineering side.

Then - in the kindest possible way - it's those 2:1 and 9:1 you need to persuade to refuse to engage with this bullshit, and it will stop there. If you want most bangs for your buck.

Pepperwort · 04/08/2020 11:09

Why are they asking this? Does it matter? I’d rather people knew my dietary requirements or allergies - that is at least useful.

This. All of this gender they’re pushing on us is pure ideological bull.

HollowTalk · 04/08/2020 11:09

@SarahAndQuack

Depends why you want not to, I think.

I don't put pronouns after my email signature because I teach students at an age where they often feel acutely uncomfortable about their identities (in multiple ways) and I am well aware this can act as covert, well-meaning pressure on them to 'out' themselves or make statements they are not ready to make. I therefore discuss this in so many words, often, and make clear that no one is under pressure to share private or personal details with me or anyone else they're interacting with.

I am now thinking I might include a statement to that effect in my signature.

I think this is a really, really good point. Imagine if someone was very confused as to their gender identity and their boss - of all people - asked them to make a public statement about it. It's not fair on them.

And it's bloody stupid anyway.

TheGreatWave · 04/08/2020 11:16

Whilst some of the responses are spot on and/or very funny I think it just needs to be turned on it's head. Saying that individuals should not be made to reveal their identity will perhaps do more to change opinion then taking a GC stance.

DadOnIce · 04/08/2020 11:16

I would say I'd put my preferred nouns and adjectives instead.

So men put man/male, women put woman/female.

It's petty, but it might make some people think.

YetAnotherSpartacus · 04/08/2020 11:17

I'd go for 'adult human female'.

Greenfinger555 · 04/08/2020 11:17

Don't engage with this for many reasons all of which do you or women no favours.

Tappering · 04/08/2020 11:19

Why fight it at work? I would just go along, is it really hurting you?

I don't want to just go along with it. It's unprofessional and I fundamentally disagree with it, because it supports an ideology which is flawed, inherently sexist and does not allow for any dissenting view.

SerendipityJane · 04/08/2020 11:22

@DadOnIce

I would say I'd put my preferred nouns and adjectives instead.

So men put man/male, women put woman/female.

It's petty, but it might make some people think.

If people thought, we wouldn't be having this debate.
TheGreatWave · 04/08/2020 11:23

There is also no comeback to "people may not want to reveal their identity and shouldn't be forced to" There may be a little "but it may make some more comfortable to do so" which can then be responded with "but only in their own time."

starfishmummy · 04/08/2020 11:46

Its ridiculous - if people want to do it then that is fine but thise who don't should not be made to.

CatsArePeopleToo · 04/08/2020 11:48

Put something like "your highness"

HOkieCOkie · 04/08/2020 11:51

What is the world coming to with this pandering nonsense. I would ignore completely.

Beamur · 04/08/2020 11:55

I wouldn't do it - several people have already explained why. It's not beneficial to women generally in the workplace.
I refuse to use Mrs/Miss/Ms either. None of this information is necessary for me to do my job. It's my personal information
It does hurt me to comply which is why I won't.

SerenityNowwwww · 04/08/2020 11:56

Can my secret ID be Super squirrel?

Tappering · 04/08/2020 11:58

If organisations were genuinely committed to equality, they wouldn't have a pay gap between men and women.

SerenityNowwwww · 04/08/2020 12:03

And they have wheelchair access, braille signs, BSL interpreters in meetings, decent lighting for people with eye problems, etc etc etc. But this is all far cheaper and prettier...

SerendipityJane · 04/08/2020 12:04

@Tappering

If organisations were genuinely committed to equality, they wouldn't have a pay gap between men and women.
Well yes. But pratting about with language is free. Much like rainbow stickers and warmly worded mission statements.

In this case, the amount of energy being wasted diverted into this discussion has ensured that any real progress has been pushed out by decades. So it's obviously working. And just in case there is an outbreak of sanity, or the media wises up, I am sure there are equally distracting debates to have about dress codes, make up, jewellery.

MarshaBradyo · 04/08/2020 12:11

Even if there wasn’t a pay gap I wouldn’t do it.

ShagMeRiggins · 04/08/2020 12:39

@TheletterZ

I have only ever seen she/her and not he/him. e.g. on Twitter. I dont think I have seen either in an email.

Anyone else spotted similar?

I don’t know about Twitter but I’ve seen he/him on CEO-level emails. Education sector.
Violetparis · 04/08/2020 13:12

I've seen pronouns on a couple of email signatures in the public sector organisation I work for. It hasn't caught on which I think is a sign not many people agree or are interested. If we were asked to include pronouns I wouldn't and I don't think I would be the only one in my team who would object.