Asked to put preferred pronouns on email signature

[Ermokthen]

Just had an email from team leader following a diversity workshop that she’d like us all to put our preferred pronouns on our email signatures, as this was a suggested take home action.

Other members of team already responded, some enthusiastically, others clearly not bothered and just going along with team leader.

I really don’t want to do this and have no idea how to respond without being targeted as any number of negative things. Help please...

But just so I can sense check - aibu not to want to put she/her etc after my (very feminine and not to be confused otherwise) name on my email signature?

I identify as Bert.
My pronouns are sherbert/herbert.

(P.S. It's ridiculous, I wouldn't do it)

@OfaFrenchmind2 I really don't get the big deal, just don't do it, nobody will mention it. I'm being realistic, at work if you cause a big public fuss about this you will be labeled as a troublemaker, and as a bigot. Your nuanced feelings about the issue will not be understood or appreciated.

@randomchap

Do it, identify as Michael Jackson and your pronouns are he/hee

😂😂😂

I think this is one of those suggestions which sounds really woke on paper, but could actually end up harming the people it’s intended to help. If you were struggling with gender identity, being asked to make a decision and advertise it at work could end up being quite stressful or traumatic, or put pressure on someone to commit to something before they’re ready. I’m not actually sure this sort of thing would be in line with my company’s (fairly switched on and supportive) policies.

Idle curiosity - in organisations which insist on people doing this, what's the point in putting "she/her"? Surely "she" implies "her" and "hers"?

More idle curiosity, how does this work in countries like France where so many occupations have male and female terminology, e.g. boulanger/boulangere, server/serveuse?

There is a person at work who signs his emails "he/him" and then puts, "why is putting your pronouns on emails important? Here's why: and there's a link to some article on the subject. Ridiculous.

It's a definite fashion at my job to do this but we are under no pressure to be forced to do it.

I work in an industry where men outnumber women 2 to 1 on frontline operations and 9 to 1 in the engineering side. Sexism persists. I'd rather HR sort that out first before people saying they can't assume my "gender" (whatever tf that is) from my name. I have a female name. I look female. Isn't it bloody obvious?

I (militantly) don’t use titles at work, or ever if I can help it, , and I’m sure as hell not putting pronouns on my email signature. I am fairly sure our HoD has the same views as I do so it’s unlikely to become a thing, though.

Recently I’ve been working via email with lots of people I have never met, and a good number of them have non-English names that don’t (to me) indicate their sex.

It’s quite an interesting experience, finally dialling into Teams calls and seeing/hearing them for the first time. I have often guessed/assumed incorrectly. I am not quite sure what the basis is for my email-based sex assumptions are, but I am enjoying the ambiguity.

I haven't read the full thread.

I had this. I wrote a nicely worded e-mail with stats showing how identifying as a she/her could put be a risk due to violence against women, gender pay cap and other cultural implications with some societies.

I then pointed out that my employer had a duty of care to protect me.

I was told I did not have to do it.

I have a gender-neutral name.

Isn't this all about the non-binary people though? Generally trans (MTF or FTM) people just want to pass as their preferred gender, will use the names and titles of that gender, and their preferred pronouns will be obvious.

The only people I know that feel the need to declare their pronouns are non-binary. Because they are special just like everyone else.

(I say this as someone who briefly toyed with the idea of non-binary before realising you can't identify out of sex based oppression and that gender is bollocks and most women don't 'feel' like women, they just ARE)

A few people do it at my work, most of them younger women. It’s useful for knowing who to be wary of.

@EmpressJKRowlingSpartacus

A few people do it at my work, most of them younger women. It’s useful for knowing who to be wary of.

Just put I/Me. After all, they are pronouns which you use to refer to yourself.

Seriously, if someone is trans and there may be some confusion as to how someone refers to that person, then fine, but non-trans people adding them to emails just seems daft.

Really appreciate all the responses - and really glad to see I am not bu!

I share the concerns raised here. I’m gender critical but work in an organisation (and in a role) in which this would be a sackable offence. I therefore live with the gnawing dissonance daily and feel like a cowardly hypocrite far more often than I’d like....

My team leader is a proclaimed feminist but I’ve long suspected is not gc, and this has proved it. I have too wondered if it is a test.

I love some of the suggestions here (thanks for the laughs!) and the links.

I will ignore for now and see if I’m chased....

I would ignore, then strongly resist this. If I had to put something on pain of losing my job I would put:

Please use the pronouns that apply to my observable biological sex.

A colleague does this.
just the one

Can you just out ‘guess’?

@MaybeDoctor

I would ignore, then strongly resist this. If I had to put something on pain of losing my job I would put:

Please use the pronouns that apply to my observable biological sex.

I do like that!

I would also add,

"but of course if you mistakenly ascribe the wrong pronoun to me I won't be AT ALL offended and we will have a good laugh about it later!"

Channel Seven of Nine, glare at your manager disdainfuly and snap "I will not comply".

No - you have to add ‘get it wrong and I will sue the arse off you’

I really don't get the big deal, just don't do it, nobody will mention it. I'm being realistic, at work if you cause a big public fuss about this you will be labeled as a troublemaker, and as a bigot. Your nuanced feelings about the issue will not be understood or appreciated.

We’re all well aware that it isn’t women’s nuanced feelings that are being appreciated. And that’s half the point.

If people do this they are supporting it and enabling it, allowing it to grow. ‘It’ being both the erosion of workplace rights for all, men or women, at a time when we’ve already lost so much. Further it will be used to help push women out of the workforce.

You can comply for now, @birdy124, but what you’d be complying with is not something that will do you any good in the long run. Better to call it now and start fighting while we still have some power left.

Assuming we do.

I agree with Pepperwort. It's like the slowly boiling frog. We just sit back and accept this, then there will be something else, then something else. I suspect my organisation will bring this is at some point. I will not be complying.

@SockYarn

Do the people who don't believe in gender not believe in gender all along, or only since the trans debate blew up?

But 5 or 10 years ago, gender wasn't a "thing". You filled in a form, there were two boxes for male and for female. You weren't ever asked "how you identify" and you didn't have people making silly statements about doctors assigning sex at birth as if it were some sort of lottery.

I am undoubtedly female but I don't conform to a lot of the stereotypes associated with gender. That doesn't make me less of a woman. I have never bought into the "girly girl, pink and sparkles" and "boyish boy, camouflage and trucks" stereotypes, but I don't think I ever heard the loathsome term "cisgender" until about 5 years ago.

I agree with this

Why are they asking this? Does it matter? I’d rather people knew my dietary requirements or allergies - that is at least useful.