Asked to put preferred pronouns on email signature

[Ermokthen]

Just had an email from team leader following a diversity workshop that she’d like us all to put our preferred pronouns on our email signatures, as this was a suggested take home action.

Other members of team already responded, some enthusiastically, others clearly not bothered and just going along with team leader.

I really don’t want to do this and have no idea how to respond without being targeted as any number of negative things. Help please...

But just so I can sense check - aibu not to want to put she/her etc after my (very feminine and not to be confused otherwise) name on my email signature?

I wouldn't want to. I don't identify as female, I simply am female. There is no need for me to announce my preferred pronouns.

Plus as a PP already mentioned, my sex has already contributed to work place discrimination so there's no need for me to draw any further attention to it. If you can discriminate against me based on an assumption of my sex, then you can figure what pronouns to use just as easily.

The far left have invaded the HR departments of all big organisations.

I'm in the same situation - work in huge law firm and most people have been happy and willing to comply. At the moment I'm just ignoring the chaser messages but know I'm going to be put on the spot soon. Really like a few of the suggested replies on here, particularly @Poppinjay's

Email back and say you don’t want to be imprisoned by the convention of pronouns as you don’t feel there is a pronoun suitable to encapsulate your multifaceted personality. Say you identify as somewhere between a human and a god so if any person wants to refer to you by any term other than your name they should use the term Daemon. Should be fine.

It's highly objectionable. It's basically a test, isn't it?

I would have done it a year or two ago, but I wouldn't now as its just re-enforcing all this rubbish. I would explain that you are not keen to as we live is a sexist society and you don't want to have your pronouns on emails etc. as you want people to take you at face value and not judge you before thay have met you - would that work, makes it less about the whole 'woke' inclusivity rubbish and more about you as a women - dare I say that word!

This is the prefect reply!

@Gemma2019

I'm in the same situation - work in huge law firm and most people have been happy and willing to comply. At the moment I'm just ignoring the chaser messages but know I'm going to be put on the spot soon. Really like a few of the suggested replies on here, particularly *@Poppinjay*'s

I'm not sure most people are 'happy and willing'. More like bullied and afraid.

My name identifies my gender I don't need to clarify anything

My pronouns are lol/wtf 🤷🏻‍♀️

Why would I not want to do this? Because it is woke virtue-signalling nonsense on the part of the company and anyone who matters knows which pronouns I use. I don't believe anyone should be put under pressure to do this but I don't have any objection if you want to and I will be happy to use whichever pronoun you prefer.

Tell them you have no wish to draw further attention to your sex, given that women are already discriminated against in the workplace. Or say that you find this all very triggering and that are not able to discuss it until you have worked through some personal issues.

Brilliant, GCAcademic? Who could possibly object without looking terminally un-woke?

My pronouns are lol/wtf
I’m going to shamelessly copy that, Isntitnice! Thanks for a much-needed laugh.

I would definitely not do it. I honestly think the world has gone utterly mad. I absolutely hate all this gender obsession...

or who are trans and don’t pass
So all of them then.

@isntthatnice

My pronouns are lol/wtf 🤷🏻‍♀️

Excellent

It doesn't even make sense.

If you are an out transman/ transwoman you will no doubt have chosen a name which links to your identity. So no issue.

Non binary... If there was no historical thing, say we all landed on the planet tomorrow and stonewall handed out cards saying this is what xyz means. Most people are non binary. But do have a sex. I have spent my life being horrified/ upset/ confused about the assumptions made about me due to my sex. It never occurred to me to say oh I'm not a woman/ girl. Because that is a basic thing used to people adult/ child of female sex. I have fought against sex/ gender role. I don't 'feel like a woman' inside. I have no idea what that means, same as I have no idea what spiritual feelings are like. I accept others have them though.

So who are the pronouns for? Not transmen or transwomen, who will have names that will indicate whether they are she or him. Not the vast majority of people who don't know about all this/ aren't interested/ what harm. Their names also are sufficient. Non binary people. So everyone else? Most people are non binary and don't care because it's related to sex.

In practice it's a nightmare.
Working for a large multinational and being on projects with people you've never met.

Hello team. Nice to meet you all. I understand that shipal can't come today and... (pause while logging onto intranet and going to global search, search shipal, get pronoun) she has asked rob to join instead. Let's get started.
Rob: shipal thinks it's a good idea to get Ralph in the ZA office involved because... (pause to log on to global intranet etc) he has experience in this area.

And etc.

How does all this work in practice?

I have enough trouble rembering names tbh.

I would be totally happy to move to they/ them/ or name for everything. That would be much easier all round and is already in place in the corporate world in the UK when taking in general. Eg in a new process 'the manager gets the request and they pass it to a member of the team...

That would be way better and easier than having to check pronouns for any number of people all over the place all the time. Which just won't work. I mean it won't.

@SirVixofVixHall

How do emails assume you are male if your name is Jamie ? Pronouns are only used to refer to someone in their absence. In an email you would be speaking directly to the person, so no He/She required.

A surprising number of emails addressed to "dear Sir" and, on visits to prospective clients, quite a bit of confusion when Jamie turned up but definitely wasn't a bloke.

This was so frequent that her email signature read "Ms Jamie Surname (she / her)"

‘I don’t identify with any particular pronoun”

actually
having a really bad memory for names
third person referral: thing a me bob or who gamy flip or alternatively oy you (that second person obviously) or oy you with the hair on (thank you ds for all of the rude above)
cringeworthy is: dear, darling sweetheart et al
alternatively refer by name (!) or title m/mr/mrs/miss/ms
person, human earthling...(except for trump I have my doubts with several of the former titles)
actually Ilike M

I would refuse to do it (assuming that’s an option). Because by putting preferred pronouns, you’re making a statement that you buy into the whole concept of choosing a gender, and that’s not something I believe in, for all the reasons explained on the TransgenderTrend website.

Asking employees to make that kind of statement in the signature they use many times a day, about a controversial political issue, is a very creepy and inappropriate form of brainwashing imo.

But it doesn’t matter what I want... I’m merely a woman, and on this issue it seems that only ‘male to female’ transvestites’ feelings matter. Men telling women what to do and think, again.

@JaneJeffer

or who are trans and don’t pass So all of them then.

You'd be surprised - especially with those who transition from female to male. A couple of years of testosterone and the beard + broken voice invariably mean that the vast majority of FTMs pass very well. You'd have to really know what you were looking for, and then then you might not be totally certain if they were FTM or had been born male.

Can someone explain why they wouldn't want to?
Equally, tbh, why would anyone want to..especially if they are not trans.

I wouldn't do this, and if pulled up I would say I don't know my pronouns, maybe they are none existant, given I am 'agender'. If I don't have a gender identity, then what pronouns should I use? Genuiely don't give a shit if people call me her or he though either way.

Honestly, this pronoun thing just comes across as a bunch of navelgazing nonsense.

Do the people who don't believe in gender not believe in gender all along, or only since the trans debate blew up?

I would think most feminists thought 'gender' was a steaming pile of bollocks long before the recnt steaming pile of bollocks appeared.

Given its all seemingly about stereotypes, something feminists fight hard against!

Totally agree with Cam2020 above, on this page.
This is all so regressive . It is like going back half a century.