Asked to put preferred pronouns on email signature

[Ermokthen]

Just had an email from team leader following a diversity workshop that she’d like us all to put our preferred pronouns on our email signatures, as this was a suggested take home action.

Other members of team already responded, some enthusiastically, others clearly not bothered and just going along with team leader.

I really don’t want to do this and have no idea how to respond without being targeted as any number of negative things. Help please...

But just so I can sense check - aibu not to want to put she/her etc after my (very feminine and not to be confused otherwise) name on my email signature?

YANBU, I wouldn’t want to do this. It should be a choice.

Out of interest OP, what’s the male/female % split in your team?

@Timeforabiscuit

This is why I want to get a doctorate...

What difference would that make? The expectation is you declare your pronouns (she/her) not your title (Miss/Mrs/Dr) so having a doctorate wouldn't make the slightest bit of difference.

I'm surprised at all the people who have never heard of this, I have worked in both private sector and civil service and it has definitely become 'a thing' in both in the last few years, but it's never been enforceable, so if you don't want to do it OP I just wouldn't but not make a big deal - if she mentions it you can use one of the excuses upthread, personally I think 'I find it triggering,' is the easiest way to shut down discussion asap but it depends how controversial you want to be!

I wouldn't do it for 2 reasons.

My gender has no bearing whatsoever on my job. People address me by my name, which is readily available either by however they found my details to contact me, or in my email signature.

My clients would think I'd gone batshit mental if I started making reference to the fact I'm a woman in my email signature, and I feel it would be viewed as unprofessional.

@Fallstar

This would really bother me and I would refuse to do it because it's buying into what to me is a damaging social construct.

I've spent decades fighting against gender stereotypes and I don't intend to start embracing them now.

'Cis' implies agreement with the whole gender-identity thing. I'm not a 'cis' woman. I'm a woman. Of the female sex. My sex was not 'assigned'; it was observed when I was born.

You can't identify out of your biology, no matter how much you'd like to and while I believe that people with sex dysphoria should be offered support and protected from discrimination, nobody can change sex.

It's not a matter of 'just being kind' - people who go along with this pronouns stuff are party to giving away women's sex-based rights in a whole host of situations and my rights are not theirs to give away.

Worth a re-post for those who may have missed it

@branleuse me/my mine. That's the way to go!

@MrDarcysMa

Do the people who don't believe in gender not believe in gender all along, or only since the trans debate blew up?

All along. I’ve always used sex (Male/Female) and gender as a linguistic tool (le couteau, la cuillère, plus a neuter in German I believe).

I’m English, I’ve only used gender when discussing stereotypes, but even then I’ve more often than not said sex-based stereotypes.

People can identify however they like and I will treat all with respect, but I won’t be forced to declare my pronouns.

Her/his/sizzbidd - let them work it out.

My preferred pronoun is "yer mum"

But it depends what day of the week it is
www.standard.co.uk/news/uk/gender-fluid-exec-named-on-list-of-top-100-women-in-business-a3942896.html

Tell them that you would like t o use sqee' and 'sqiz' . Do not offer any further explanation

[quote ListeningQuietly]My preferred pronoun is "yer mum"

But it depends what day of the week it is
www.standard.co.uk/news/uk/gender-fluid-exec-named-on-list-of-top-100-women-in-business-a3942896.html[/quote]
Oh yes - one for each day of the week (and depending on the weather and if it was the time of my period). And they’d better all get it right...👿

Putting pronouns on e-mail signatures disadvantage women immensely, especially in male dominated field. There is a tonne of research about how women with so called ‘gender neutral’ names are more highly regarded in e-mail exchanges with clients.

But also, the whole ‘declare your pronouns’ thing is the worst form of armchair activism. It costs the company nothing and makes them look like they are doing something to support trans colleagues. It’s bullshit.

YANBU. Compelled pronouns are exclusionary and a micro-aggression.

They force anyone who is uncomfortable with their pronouns to be made uncomfortable every time they see an email. People should come out as trans / NB in their own time, not because their workplace requires them to either declare their trans / NB pronouns when they might not be ready to be out, or force them to use their "dead" pronouns with every email. Neither is fair.

Additionally, for transwomen who may have a very typically feminine name, enforced pronouns mean that every time they write an email they are effectively telling people they don't pass, so please be kind.

I don't get it, why is it relevant to your work?

I would refuse.

Nope. Doing it is feeding into the idea that we all need to bow to the ridiculous

I don’t blame you, I wouldn’t either.

I’d respond that I feel my name is sufficient and I would rather people used my name that she/he/her/him and I prefer not to be defined by my sex/gender.

If I were feeling contrary, which I often am, I would either:

A) put "he/him" or "it/it" for shits and giggles (I'm female)
B) threaten to take my employer to court for making me publicly disclose my gender identity

Pretty sure she is a woman....period

@Newwayofthinking

Pretty sure she is a woman....period

Didn't quote the other poster 🙄

No. I wouldn’t feel comfortable either.

me/myself/I

If it is ever suggested I do this, I'm going for "my pronouns are sex-based, like the oppression of women".

One of the things I like about this new way of working remotely is that I don't know the gender/sex/race/age etc... of my colleagues (other than those I know well). Engaging digitally means I don't see people (people don't turn in their video) and it makes me think this is probably the easiest way to address unconscious bias (or conscious bias) in the work place. So no I won't be declaring to my colleagues what my gender preference is. Nor will I declare my ethnicity etc....

My advice is ignore it but if pushed I would say - I am not comfortable declaring my sex/gender. I am alert to unconscious bias in the workplace.

My gender has no bearing whatsoever on my job.

Couldn't agree more! Isn't this all just a massive backstep? Haven't women campaigned for years to be seen as individuals rather than a gender? Isn't this current obsession with gender just reinforcing stereotypes rather than breaking out of them?!

I feel for anyone who genuinely feels they do not belong in the body they were born in, but how many people are actually affected by this and isn't part of the problem bloody stereotypes?!