To delay mmr vaccine

[Coriandersucks]

I know aibu but my question is really relating to how long can I delay it without putting my child’s health at risk?

The reason being, childs father has been experiencing some mental health problems since lockdown and has asked that we delay giving our 3 year old second mmr dose whilst he looks into the ‘ingredients’ (paranoia around aborted foetuses going in apparently).

I have pointed out that the ingredients are listed on the nhs website but he wants to see it in writing, via a letter from virgin health or whoever, to confirm. If he’s happy with it then he will ‘allow’ the vaccine to go ahead.

I will be getting my child vaccinated regardless but I know it will be at the expense of my relationship If he disagrees hence why I would like to know if anyone has any idea about the guidelines as I can’t seem to find anything online. The cdc says it could be up to 2 years but that’s American isn’t it?

@SteelyPanther

Just be aware that if he disagrees and makes this known, the child cannot be vaccinated. It would need to go to court. Vaccinating is seen as being in the best interests of the child and so would be done eventually, but if I were you I’d pop off and get it done quietly.

I did mention this yesterday.

@SteelyPanther

OP - you need to get this done before he makes his feeling known to the vaccinating nurse and the GP surgery. Believe me - they will not vaccinate against his wishes. You must go and get it done ASAP without his knowledge.

And this,

I hope you do manage to get it done as the person vaccinating can refuse if they don’t have full consent.

@SteelyPanther there were also others on here saying why don’t you just ask the nurse...

But well done for being ‘right’

Because if you ask the nurse and she gets wind that dad doesn’t consent they won’t do it.
I am well aware of cases where this had happened and it’s had to go to court, thus putting the child at risk while it’s not vaccinated.
And yes I am right because consent is what I do. Sorry that that bothers you.

I’ve already said the nurse phoned me back and said that they will do it as it is in the best interests of the child.

I am glad of that but they are well within their rights not to.

I'm with the previous posters who said they think he will go back on his November cutoff. I think it's highly likely that if you wait until November he will then find a reason to want to postpone it further. This is how it works with cult thinking.
So November won't solve anything imho.

Just sending you some solidarity - this is a shit situation. You're doing the right thing for your child and yourself by not caving here, and it is worth keeping calling his views what they are: this is not a difference of opinion in which both of you have an equal say - it is proven scientific fact that will keep your child safe vs utter bullshit that will harm them, and it's for this reason the law is behind the surgery. Giving him any indication that you consider a much-disproven, dangerous conspiracy theory to have equal weight to scientific fact reinforces for him that even in the eyes of someone 'on the other side' his views are valid. There is zero shame in keeping the line that they are not.

This is bonkers. You’re considering saying your child has been bitten by a flea in order to avoid a confrontation about having done the safest thing and vaccinated your child.
But his paranoia isn’t affecting your child at all! Bonkers.

The trouble with the flea bite excuse is how likely is your 3 year to tell daddy that the nurse gave him an injection?

In case it helps - we live in Germany, and the preschool MMR booster is not given until 5 or 6 years old. It is taken VERY seriously here in that it is actually compulsory for school admittance (and homeschooling is illegal, so essentially it is compulsory for everyone barring medical exemption). So I do not think that a few months will matter. DS2 has had 2 doses at around 12/13 months old and he will not have any more injections unless we choose to get him the flu jab, until he is 6. I was surprised when the doctor explained this at our last visit.

I have read quite a lot on antivax stuff and debunking it because it's something I was concerned about with DS1, he ended up having his first jabs a bit delayed (which is a much bigger risk than delaying a booster) - I still feel I made the right decision as it was important to me to be OK with it. I am now of the opinion that almost all antivax stuff is false, but sometimes I look it up anyway as I have some friends who are still vaccine-hesitant. The abortion thing is about how the virus was originally created, the actual content of the jab given to your child doesn't have any foetus cells in it. And they don't use aborted foetuses in vaccine creation any longer. Objecting to this though would be similar to objecting to eating tomatoes fertilised with horse manure because you are vegan and horse manure is an animal product - perhaps, but there is not a speck of manure in the finished tomato. And a vaccine is many many times more beneficial than a tomato!

IME there is sometimes a little bruise left from the jab, sometimes a small red dot, but never a raised mark like a flea bite. It does look like a jab IME. And the booster can cause a bit of a fever. A 3yo will also remember the experience and is quite likely to talk about it! DS1 was MOST put out at his preschool boosters about being "stabbed with a needle" as he put it