To call it a vulva?

[elephantsinlove]

Baby DD is not yet at the stage where she calls it anything, but the time is approaching and she will soon start learning words etc, I have been wondering what to teach her to call it - I know that vulva is the correct term.

Then again, a lot of people use bits/front bottom/fanny/foof/lala/ various other cutesy or vaguely teletubby sounding names

What is it called in your house?

Is she going to be the weird kid if I teach her it's her vulva? I tend to (technically incorrectly I know) use vagina myself, or various comedy words in general chat as vulva seems a bit odd but perhaps something I just need to get over!

Margaret Thatcher

How old is your DD?

My DD (just turned 2) calls it a vulva.

Honestly, it felt weird to call it that at first but I'm so used to it now it feels quite natural.

When DD has asked about what it's called I've used the correct names, vulva and vagina. In day to day usage we just say 'bits', so 'make sure you clean your bits' when in the bath for example.

I don't believe anyone would struggle to understand if a child said someone had touched her bits, so don't think that it's making it difficult to talk about inappropriate touching or anything like that.

Winkle

And yes she would be the "weird" kid if she calls
It her vulva and you'd be "that" mother.

Honestly In the throws of passion do you call it your vulva! I'd imagine not! Who cares about anatomical correctness - I don't know anyone at school when having biology lessons raised their hands and corrected the teacher that no miss it isn't a vulva it's a "lala " 🤣🤦‍♀️

I think vulva is fine.

But I also think using vulva interchangeably with another colloquial term is fine as long as your child knows that vulva is correct and ‘Minnie’ or whatever is just slang and can clarify this. We say penis but also willy or winkle around my toddler for example.

My only issue with bits is that it refers to the whole area. So, if they say their bits are itchy, that could be the bum or the vulva, requiring further questions to narrow it down. I think the distinction is quite helpful, but don't think using a generic term like bits is problematic.

Honestly In the throws of passion do you call it your vulva! I'd imagine not!

I'd imagine you also don't refer to it as your tuppence, Minnie, lala or front bum in the throes of passion either, though!

Vulva here - my daughter is’6.

Love @ivfdreaming’a post!

Dd 7 knows the right language-vulva, vagina, clitoris-and everyday usage name is generic fanny (in bath-give fan a wash) or pants parts (following pantasaurus, so anything in pants parts is yours and and no one else’s business). DS is penis, testicles, scrotum, everyday willy and balls (or pants parts as above)

Always been Mary in our house.
No issues....

We are going with vulva too. I don't see how knowing and using the correct term would make your child odd or you 'that' mother as a pp said 🙄

Educating your child is never a bad thing, and maybe if everyone taught their sons and daughters the correct terms there wouldn't be so much embarrassment about using them and our daughters won't think twice about what to tell their children their genitals are called.

My DH referred to front Botty and back Botty.
I use vulva, labia and vagina.
My DD are very aware of the correct terminology.

My Vagine.

Honestly how many threads do we need titles "AIBU to call it a vulva."

Vagina, vulva, hair twatbag.

Who cares?

@FourPlasticRings

My only issue with bits is that it refers to the whole area. So, if they say their bits are itchy, that could be the bum or the vulva, requiring further questions to narrow it down. I think the distinction is quite helpful, but don't think using a generic term like bits is problematic.

Not really-bits would be the front part and your bottom would be the back part. If DD said her bits hurt or itched, I’d know where she meant and would ask if it was on the inside or outside. Worked well with my lot throughout childhood. I would also know if they said someone tried to touch them on their bits, what they meant.

Mine are well aware of the correct words, but we don’t use them. I have never referred to my vulva to DH!

Bits works well here.

We use vulva for DD just turned 3. It felt awkward to start with but we’re all used to it now and it’s been worth it particularly when she’s been sore and has been able to tell us if it’s her vulva or her bum. Her baby brother is due soon and she knows he’ll have a penis not a vulva. Don’t see what the big issue is 🤷🏼‍♀️

I told ds at a similar age it was a vulva (how can girls pee without a willy?) and it does sound very strange the odd time he says it. I didn't want to teach him vagina as you don't pee through it. I don't say labia as I don't know how to pronounce it right

Dh uses "lady bum" when talking to DD

Every toddler born to a mumsnetter apparently has a Vulva or a penis. Meanwhile in real life, nobody calls it that.

We used bits because it's the easiest for a toddler to say! Flower was a popular one amongst people I know. I have to say that did make me cringe.

I will say though that no matter what you decide to name it, it's important that they know the correct anatomical words as well.

DS (5) knows that he has a penis and girls/women have a vulva. It did feel strange saying it at first (and even stranger hearing him say it) but it seems normal now. And I'm confident that if he ever needs to refer to a part of his genitalia to a healthcare professional he'll be able to do so accurately. I'm an HCP myself and have assessed lots of young men who have been completely unable to tell me what/where the problem is, all the while writhing with embarrassment. I'm hoping to avoid that for DS.

My friend said she was having a night of passion with a guy she'd desired for yonks and he referenced her "minnie" and she laughed so much she fell off. I don't think what we call things during sex and what a toddler says are really best linked anyway? Are they?

Call it a vulva. That's what it is. It's just naming of parts.

@Boshmama

Because I generally find people who insist on their children using the correct anatomical names also tend to be the people who perpetuate a sense of superiority over the rest of us for using slang words

@FourPlasticRings

No but my point is we all know what the correct term is but rarely use it. Doesn't mean either DH or I are embarrassed to use the "correct" names.
However I may try "Minnie" with DH and see what his reaction is 🤣🤣

We use front bum in our house. Will explain correct name when she is old enough along with other but yes I think a child using vulva as an everyday term at school or with friends will be that weird child IMHO.