To call it a vulva?

[elephantsinlove]

Baby DD is not yet at the stage where she calls it anything, but the time is approaching and she will soon start learning words etc, I have been wondering what to teach her to call it - I know that vulva is the correct term.

Then again, a lot of people use bits/front bottom/fanny/foof/lala/ various other cutesy or vaguely teletubby sounding names

What is it called in your house?

Is she going to be the weird kid if I teach her it's her vulva? I tend to (technically incorrectly I know) use vagina myself, or various comedy words in general chat as vulva seems a bit odd but perhaps something I just need to get over!

What under 5s (or any age group for that matter) do you know that openly discuss their body parts

Many of them are openly fascinated by it, but that's not the point. The point is, that if you're bemoaning a society in which it's shameful to discuss female genitals and think that we should be more open about them, using a wide array of coy euphemisms to describe them is unlikely to help matters.

@Iwalkinmyclothing

I totally agree with you and cannot understand why people have a problem with the word penis but happy to use willy or some other term.... doesn't make any sense at all. It is what it is.

We use the correct names for genitals. As part of my safeguarding children training we were taught that it’s much easier to identify child sexual abuse when they know the correct terms as a child saying “uncle x touched my flower etc.” wouldn’t always ring the same alarm bells.

I knew my vulva as my mary growing up.

Nothing wrong with using the correct words. DD knew it is a vulva but also used “front bottom” sometimes. DS used penis or sometimes “boy bits”. I think all of those are very clear.

However “cutesy” or “family” names can be problematic. If you are English and your American godchild told you “Uncle Dave tapped me on the fanny when I was naughty” you might completely misinterpret what had happened. If a child said that someone had played with her “fairy”, does that mean that someone had played with her doll that has fairy wings or something more sinister?

Have always disliked the car brand Volvo for this reason

I call mine pussy or minge & refer to labia as “my flaps”

Mini and willy in our house. 9 year old DS knows the correct terminology though. 21 year old DD doesn't really need to be told obviously. Call it what you want 🤷🏻‍♀️

I've taught my DD to say vulva. Because why not? Why wouldn't you?

I think knowing the correct names is important, and then generally we’d use girl bits / boy bits, as that’s pretty clear what you mean. I’m not such a fan of ambiguous terms, for the same reason as other posters. I also agree that if you teach them when they’re small, there’s less embarrassment later.

My children say vulva and penis.

BoyTwin 2.5 often looks into his nappy and says fondly, "I love you, penis"

His twin sister shouts "well done, vulva!" After weeing in the bath. She also has a favourite book with Builder Bear in it... every time we see our ndn who is gutting his house she bellows "tap tap, it's Vulva Bear!" At him.

Luckily I don't think he can understand her as he always just smiles cheerily......

@Emeraldshamrock

I knew my vulva as my mary growing up.

Me too. Ruined the name forever. Also made, 'The Virgin Mary' very descriptive.

@Bananabread8 sadly though, there are grown women who don't know the correct names for the parts of their genitals, in fact I've met women who didn't even know that they don't urinate out of the vagina. Somewhere these women were failed.

On a more sinister note, I have family members who are school teachers who wouldn't know what a 'coochie', 'twinkle', 'tuppence' or 'noonoo' was, and could quite easily dismiss a child saying 'so and so touched my flower' as something very innocent whereas there would be zero mistaking 'so and so touched my vulva/vagina'. We all think it wont happen to our family but the truth is nobody can guarantee that and giving children the right words can make a huge difference in protecting them.

Girl bits and boy bits/winky in our house.

When they are school age they will learn formal anatomical names, I wont expect them to be used on a daily basis though. We don't berate children who say they have a tummy ache for not referring correctly to a specific anatomical term.

Carrotcakecrumbs

You find me a teacher that doesnt know what "girl bits" or "boy bits" means. Its crystal clear.

I think people are confused about vulva too.

Girls wee out of their urethra.

Margaret Thatcher

This killed me because my mum used the term “margaret” for vulva when I was a kid in the Thatcher era. Never got to ask her if it was named after her 😂

The child obviously will get to know the correct terminology I’ve never met anybody who doesn’t know the correct name and the functionality FGS.

Are you kidding? There’s already posts on this thread where grown women don’t know the correct names for these parts of their body.

This thread is so disappointing- I thought we had come further than this.

Bits for young children we call it. Vulva has always sounded like a car to me 😂

Yes obviously No, but the external bits are the vulva. I haven't gone into forensic detail with a pair of 2.5yos yet.

In everyday use its a foofoo (dd age 3 started calling it that and it stuck) but they are all aware its real name is vulva and vagina. DD had to go to the doctor for a uti and she was able to say her vagina hurt so i dont think having a 'fluffy' everyday name for it necessarily is a problem as long as you make sure they know the correct terms too.

DS calls his a tinkle again he knows its penis, testicles etc

I used flower then I read about not using "cutesy" names for private parts so it is now vagina - daughter is 6.

It's very unmumsnetty but I don't think I've ever called mine a vulva out loud, even to DD. It's just never come up as a topic of conversation. That's not to say that I don't know biological terms or how to safeguard my children.

@NoIDontWatchLoveIsland no your right girl bits/boy bits are alot clearer than the cutsie names like fairy that could be mistaken for a toy, or cookie, or Bobby which could be anything (and yes I do know someone who teaches that to their DC because it sounds better!). I had a friend at 18 who didn't even know what a urethra was, let alone where it was, she was shocked when I told her that it was a separate hole to the vagina. That is scary.

Yes it's weird to get a young kid to call it her vulva. Obviously I know that vulva is the name for the outside part of a woman's genitals but it's only on mumsnet I hear it referenced in day to day life.

Hmm lots of differing opinions, seems lots of people teach vulva and another word at the same time... sorry if there have been loads of threads like this before, it just popped into my head the other day as I was chatting to her as I bathed her and panicked about what to call it!

Vulva & vagina are the Latin medical terms. Which is why they sound unnatural to many of us when spouted from the mouths of very young children. Do you teach them patella, or knee? Scapula or shoulder?