To be livid at this hotel stay

[Butternutter01]

Staying in hotel in Scotland. Single woman, travelling alone.

It’s gone midnight on a Saturday and I was fast asleep, only to have the door open and two men walk into my hotel room?!

Got dressed and went downstairs to reception as frankly I was concerned for my safety. The night manager is basically blaming this on me, saying he has no record of me being in the room, so apparently not his fault?! Yet they assigned me the key on Thursday night!

Went back up to my room, my key now doesn’t work. Back downstairs, oh it’s because we have no record of you. Yes but that’s not my fault?! Booked online weeks in advance, checked in fine AFAIK.

AIBU to be livid at this?

This happened to me once, in a city on the South coast in the summer. I sleep with earplugs in so I had no real warning when an older couple came crashing into my room. I squeaked pretty loudly!! Similar to PP described I think the system of rooms and keys didn't match up - I'd been down as in a different room.

We ended up sharing a table at breakfast the next morning - and they refunded a night of my stay. The customer service was what really made the difference to your experience. Hope they are more apologetic this morning OP.

Hi I worked in a hotel chain for years and there are a few things that could have gone wrong here
1 they never checked you in properly so you went down as a no show and they reallocated the room
2 you were checked out in error
3 they allocated you the wrong keys/card therefore think you are in a different room
It still a grave error on their part so I would be expecting full refund and apology and maybe an e voucher as compensation ?

@CatandtheFiddle
Clearly the Night Manager has some scam going

Really?? He made a mistake. How was he going to make money out of this unless the OP didn't mind sharing with 2 strangers??!!

He was wrong in not apologising profusely.

OP has learnt how important it is to use the thumb turn or the snib on the door.

A bit of over-egging on here today.

@CatandtheFiddle

That is utterly awful.

I would move elsewhere, and be very clear about why you are doing so.

Then write to the Manager & the General Area Manager, and ask for a full refund of your stay. And if no joy, name & shame on social media.

Clearly the Night Manager has some scam going.

@CatandtheFiddle Why is it clear the night manager has some scam going?

how would you have a key if you never checked in-he could have at least apologise not suggest you randomly walked in off the street and got into a room

There isn’t a safety lock on the door. I looked for it this morning when I wanted to have a lie in without the cleaner disturbing me (they never came; now I know why!)

We stayed in a hotel recently and they were not cleaning rooms or entering rooms whilst you were there unless you stayed for more than five days. If you wanted clean towels/rubbish picked up you left it outside your door. You also had to eat in your room (and leave the plates outside the door).

@BillywilliamV

Oh for heavens sake, two perfectly normal men have wandered into her room in the middle of the night, no doubt been mortally embarrassed, apologised and backed out smartish.tell No doubt she was startled but why is everyone behaving as though she'd been raped and left for dead. Yes the night porter behaved badly but no doubt she'll get her night free and she's got an anecdote to tell. Calm down everyone, when did the need to barricade hotel doors become a thing?

A bit of sense at last!

I once woke up in a hotel in Germany to a man telling me my door was open. That was scary enough; I can't imagine how you felt!

I actually think it is a massive fuck up for an employee to let perfect strangers into your room while you are sleeping or showering or possibly naked, you have paid for it to be your private space for the duration of your stay.

It violates your privacy, I'd be very upset and I know I would go into fight or flight, thinking that they were intruders.

Scam? Well, a couple of examples - letting mates kip in "empty" hotel rooms late at night. Letting mates in to steal from hotel rooms.

If the Night Manager had been apologetic and sorted it & offered a refund for disturbed sleep, aggravation & fear then I might believe it was a genuine error.

But it's classic victim-blaming to turn it back on the woman. And disgustingly sexist. Would he have blamed a male guest?

I've been burst into like that at night at a place where I was staying. Even if it's a genuine error, it's bloody scary. How do you know, when you're woken suddenly by 2 strange men, what they're there to do?

Women are raped like this.

The fact that the Night Manager turned the blame back on the female guest is what I find most unsettling about this incident. When people have deliberately done something, they often blame the victim, to try to deflect blame from their own behaviour. Men do it to women a lot.

Work out what you want from the hotel OP - I'd be asking for a refund for the whole stay, for 3 reasons:

• the error
• the totally wrecked night's sleep
• the Night Manager's unacceptable blaming of you

Don't accept vouchers - I would never stay there again.

@BillywilliamV

Oh for heavens sake, two perfectly normal men have wandered into her room in the middle of the night, no doubt been mortally embarrassed, apologised and backed out smartish.tell No doubt she was startled but why is everyone behaving as though she'd been raped and left for dead. Yes the night porter behaved badly but no doubt she'll get her night free and she's got an anecdote to tell. Calm down everyone, when did the need to barricade hotel doors become a thing?

It became a thing since it's not difficult for a hotel to give someone else a key to your room.

It's no longer a single key for each room, they programme the room number onto a card. I've had a similar experience but where I turned up in a hotel room that had someone else's belongings in it.

It's not difficult to gain access to a hotel room if you wanted to, if you have a pass card it takes seconds to reprogram it to any room.

Would you go to sleep without your house front door being locked?

On a less funny note, I’m always staggered by those who can’t (won’t) understand why other people would worry about a stranger much bigger than the potentially sleeping woman inside having unrestricted access to her room - even from a theft perspective. You do realise don’t you that if someone got in to your room and physically attacked you 1) they would be overwhelmingly likely to get away with it even if caught and 2) you would be likely to be held responsible in some way because you should have blocked door/ door must have been working and you voluntarily let them in/ you had a negligee / short PJs on and it was obviously voluntary etc etc... all the joys of such a scenario.

Absolutely @EvelynBeatrice And the posters mocking the OP for being scared & angry? Well, I've heard that a lack of imagination often goes with a lack of uderstanding

[quote Reluctantbettlynch]@AllTheUsernamesAreAlreadyTaken - not everyone feels constantly vulnerable bit dramatic there.
@BillywilliamV I used to be more laid back but I've had a couple of instances of someone attempting to enter my hotel room late at night. I always dead lock the room now. It could be an innocent mistake, but for the sake of turning a lock to be safer I will always do it, and recommend it.
OP, poor response from hotel. They should have apologised profusely. Complain factually, and be nice - it gets you further(!)
Don't threaten social media / trip advisor. It's better to tell them what you want them to do in order to put it right.[/quote]
So, please tell me, where can women go alone where they are completely safe?
Public transport? Hotels? Walking down the street? Their own homes? Their own cars?
I worked for domestic abuse charity which collaborated with other professionals from sexual assault victims’ support a long with other women’s charities and let me tell you one thing I learnt in that time, women are vulnerable. This vulnerability does not need to be increased by allowing strange men to enter a room where a lone woman is asleep.

This exact thing happened to me in a hotel in London - woke up to see a guy standing at the end of my bed watching me... he only ran out when I woke up and freaked out. I was then accused by the receptionist of being in this guy's room!

I properly kicked off the next morning - by the time I was done the hotel was grovelling... I got lots of freebies, a room upgrade, and they acted like I was royalty every time I walked through reception. All very nice but it IS unsettling when it happens. I often stay by myself in hotels - I now ALWAYS pop a chair behind the door and ALWAYS put "do not disturb" on the door too - I figure it's two warnings that there is already someone in the room. I also find this helpful in terms of housekeeping - who have previously walked in on me on the toilet!

Thing is 9 times out of 10 when this happens, the people walking into the occupied room will be as mortified as the person in there... and will scurry off, probably no happier than the person who has been rudely awakened. Mistakes do happen. But as I pointed out to the hotel manager - hotels don't do background checks on guests - if they give some random stranger access to someone else's room, ultimately they don't know who they are giving access to and it's a disaster waiting to happen. The guy who came into my room didn't run off until I woke up and reacted - he was standing at the end of my bed watching me - it was creepy as hell. It wasn't like he opened the door - saw my luggage and went "oh sorry" and left... he came in quietly and waited until I woke up. It could've been seconds admittedly - but my luggage was plain to see from the door - it was quite obvious someone was in the room and most people would leave immediately - not stand over the bed until the occupant woke up.

I do generally find some MN reactions to things very "pearl-clutchy-OTT" - but on this one - I know how it feels and it IS very unsettling.

@CatandtheFiddle

On a less funny note, I’m always staggered by those who can’t (won’t) understand why other people would worry about a stranger much bigger than the potentially sleeping woman inside having unrestricted access to her room - even from a theft perspective. You do realise don’t you that if someone got in to your room and physically attacked you 1) they would be overwhelmingly likely to get away with it even if caught and 2) you would be likely to be held responsible in some way because you should have blocked door/ door must have been working and you voluntarily let them in/ you had a negligee / short PJs on and it was obviously voluntary etc etc... all the joys of such a scenario.

Absolutely @EvelynBeatrice And the posters mocking the OP for being scared & angry? Well, I've heard that a lack of imagination often goes with a lack of uderstanding

Precisely

These two men may have been polite and understanding

The next two may not. They may be think all their Christmasas had come at once and take advantage of the situation

It wasn’t so much that I felt hugely threatened although I can see how the situation might have ended up unsafe - but who wouldn’t feel vulnerable being woken up from sleep in the early hours of the morning by two strangers! Not to mention I being undressed and with all my valuables around. It was also a huge inconvenience to then disrupt my night going back up and downstairs to argue with the night manager and resolve the situation.

On checking this morning it seems I was never checked in correctly as no money has been charged to my credit card. Checked out super early this morning with no one around to complain to!

Name & shame and put it all over Twitter and Facebook

Forget the night manager. Straight on to central Customer Services, phone and e-mail.

You need to make a complaint because they need to change their policy.

This happened to me in a 5* London hotel, security guard came in at 3am.
Front desk were useless in morning and I had to be at a 7.30am meeting so too stressed and in a rush to argue. My boss wrote a formal complaint and they refunded that night and gave me a free stay to make up for it. Very glad I always sleep in pyjamas!

@AllTheUsernamesAreAlreadyTaken try reading what I wrote. I said "not everyone FEELS vulnerable all the time". That doesn't indicate that we are not vulnerable; just that we don't spend our entire lives in a state of panic. Men are also vulnerable, it's not just women.
It is sensible to double lock your hotel room if you are male or female. The DND sign is also a good idea as it shows the room is occupied.
@LibrariesGiveUsPower that is bad advice. You should make a formal complaint to the hotel before any other action is taken.

I’m not sure if I was originally checked in properly so by this I actually think they mean make sure I haven’t snuck in without paying!!

Checked out super early this morning with no one around to complain to!

And this was in a large not-cheap chain? Sounds pretty poor if there are no staff in the morning and no competent staff at night.

I've had people walk into my hotel room a few times over the years (statistically tiny, I do a lot of hotel nights). When its happened to me the hotel have always been very apologetic, sorted it out quickly and offered some gesture of apology (dinner usually). Its also unusual in a good chain to have no door locking method at night - the bolt version of a door chain or similar.

I'd name and shame if you don't get a decent response from them.

I'm astonished that anyone in this day and age thinks two men entering a woman's room in a hotel at night thinks its no big deal. Its a huge deal, especially in a country where rape and sexual assault are largely punishment free crimes.

There was a case recently where a night porter was persuaded to give a card to a woman’s stalker/ex who then entered her room and murdered her.

[quote Reluctantbettlynch]@AllTheUsernamesAreAlreadyTaken try reading what I wrote. I said "not everyone FEELS vulnerable all the time". That doesn't indicate that we are not vulnerable; just that we don't spend our entire lives in a state of panic. Men are also vulnerable, it's not just women.
It is sensible to double lock your hotel room if you are male or female. The DND sign is also a good idea as it shows the room is occupied.
@LibrariesGiveUsPower that is bad advice. You should make a formal complaint to the hotel before any other action is taken.[/quote]
Feeling vulnerable does not mean living in a state of panic. It does mean that we live our lives in certain perimeters.
If you avoid walking alone at night. If you’re patently aware when a man is following you around the bar. If you’re uncomfortable around the workman in your house who is just being “friendly”. These are indicative of a constant awareness of your vulnerability.

id still complain op not really good cs is it