AIBU to complain that Doctor was virtually falling asleep in the consultation?

[BornOnThe4thJuly]

I took my DC for a Consultant appointment and the Doctor’s eyes were shutting for a split second constantly for the first hour or so but eventually he came round a bit towards the end.
Was I being unreasonable to say I want to see someone else? I can’t see how he can have taken in what we were saying, so god knows what the notes will say that he was typing.
It was very warm in the room, and it was late in the day, probably after a long week for him. I feel he should’ve excused himself though and gone and washed his face, got 2 mins fresh air, got a coffee, done something basically to sort himself out. Then returned to finish the assessment in a properly awake state!
I’m very annoyed at myself for not saying anything at the time. I was very taken aback and couldn’t think of what on earth to say to him, apart from WTF are you playing at!

That's a huge amount for adhd assessment. My youngest we went private and cost £700. That included one and half hours assessment with private ed psych, in schools assessment by another ed psych then diagnosis and then an hour consultation with a nhs consultant who does private work to decided on medication course and prescribe

So was then moved from nhs diagnostic waiting list (2/3 years) to the follow up list (2 months) so he could continue meds

@JinglingHellsBells

actually paid him before we even got there

I'm really sorry @BornOnThe4thJuly but the more I hear about this the less I like it.

I used to accompany parents going to these assessments as a professional . I have also read many assessment for both ADHD and associated conditions .

I would never advice anyone to pay upfront for an appt. It is not the usual practice with private medical appts or assessments.

You might be asked to pay a deposit of around £50 to cover 'no show.'
You might be asked to provide CC details again for no show.
But usually you pay on the day after the appt or they invoice you.

Is this a private centre solely offering ADHD/ dyslexia/ Asperger assessments, or does the consultant hire a room at a private hospital?

I was surprised we had to pay upfront but just thought maybe they’ve been stung too many times in the past. I’ve usually paid after the appointment for private medical things for myself and the kids in the past. This was a lot more though, I paid a deposit of £80 when I booked the app and the rest was paid 5 days before the appointment.

Not everyone with ADHD is hyperactive.'
Surely then they don't have ADHD? The clues in the H bit. If they don't, they may have ADD

ADD is now referred to as Inattentive ADHD. ADHD diagnosis looks at the type and for the many possible comorbidities. There is crossover so I think that’s why they’re not separating ADD. ADD as was is still rarely picked up in the female population as I know to my cost! I didn’t get my diagnosis until I was 52, just after my daughter. What a difference it’s made to both our lives, now all we have to do is do battle with the people who think it’s a bogus diagnosis or only happens to young boys.

We went private too as it’s very tricky to get anything timely via the NHS, we found a private psychiatrist who was also an NHS ADHD lead. We filled out loads of measures before, she got reports from my daughter’s school and then it was two hours of very engaged discussion, we paid afterwards - just giving another experience. My daughter was 17 and not hyperactive so a different dynamic.

[quote JinglingHellsBells]@BornOnThe4thJuly I think I know the centre you went to if it's NW. Did you pay £895?

There are several psychiatrists listed on the website.

It looks bona fide, but like anywhere, the quality of the assessment comes down to the individual carrying it out.

Were you given any indication of the diagnosis when you left or are you waiting for the report? Were you able to take a teacher report with you too?[/quote]
Yes that was the cost for the initial appointment.
He said from what he saw and the questions I answered he thinks he’s got combined ADHD but the connors form from school wasn’t indicative enough to diagnose straight off. He wants more info from them. DC is very well behaved at school, so although they do see ADHD traits, he doesn’t hit other kids or have melt downs etc. He’s just finished reception and they are a very play based school, he’s not been expected to sit and concentrate for more than 5 mins at a time, then they switch activity and direct teaching never lasts more than 20 mins in total. Then they go and play. So he can manage to sit and co operate for that length of time for them. Then comes home and totally melts down within 5 mins of getting through the door. He takes his temper out on his sibling and his Dad. I have a medical condition so he’s been taught from being very little he can’t be rough with me. Unfortunately it hasn’t worked to stop him with his sibling

@OverTheRainbow88

Too far away to see if he was yawning but close enough to see his eyes closing?

God so many people are quick to jump onto something and comment without knowing!

Of course you can’t see if someone is yawning if wearing a mask!!!!!!

And life has to go on so the assessor wearing full PPE and being 3 m away and a 2 hour is not risky! I’ve got friends who have been frontline on covid wards 5 days a week wearing full PPE get tested weekly and not one has got it!

They took our temperature when we arrived, asked if anyone in the household has had symptoms recently etc. All doors and windows open. Hand sanitiser used etc. Like you say, life has to go on. I really didn’t think Skype would work for my child, it would’ve been cheaper but I feel possibly a waste of time. Although I had expected the doctor would’ve asked my DC more questions and interacted more. I though there may have been activities to do with him etc. It was mostly just questioning me. The doctor had planned to let DC sit in the whole time. He was struggling though so I asked if he could go and sit with his Dad in the waiting room for the last bit. I was glad I did so he didn’t hear me being asked whether anyone in the family has ever committed suicide etc, various questions I’d rather a young child not have to listen to. Even though I was answering no to them all.

i hope any assessment you have is accepted by the school op. hopefully it will since he is nhs based.

God why do people do this. It’s I’m right and I’ve already complained, and I find it oh so funny you all disagree because I’m so right.

Because how can anyone think that it’s ok for a doctor to be falling asleep in the middle of a consultation. Doctors should most definitely stay awake and it’s not unreasonable to complain if a doctor is falling asleep.

It's difficult because was he actually falling asleep or was that just him? Obviously you're not unreasonable.

@CrowdedHouseinQuarantine thank you.

I had a teacher at school that was like this. He couldn’t have been tired every lesson for years. I assumed it was just the way he was after the first few times of having lessons with him. Perhaps the doctor you saw is the same?

If private, then Yanbu.

Consultants where we are do work 36 hour shifts though (nhs), so I imagine they might be tired near the end of such a shift.

If private, then Yanbu.

But if NHS, you should have given him a pillow and duvet and let him sleep. 🙄

Well we get what we pay for in the nhs!!

Although I can see your point OP I think overall yabu. Your comments about how hilarious it is that anyone could possibly disagree are making you come across as incapable of human empathy. Look at it from the consulant's point of view. He had an appointment scheduled with you. Unfortunately for him at the time of the appointment his body let him down and threw a bout of uncontrollable tiredness at him. It's no more his fault than if he'd had a migraine or hayfever or indigestion, any of which would have affected his concentration similarly. Wait for the report. If you feel it's lacking in any way then ask for a follow up appointment.

@CrowdedHouseinQuarantine

will you have to pay when you go back op?

Any follow up appointments are extra yes.

If private, then Yanbu.

I couldn’t disagree more.
So only those who can afford to go private can get a decent service without a falling asleep doctor!!

@Diemme

Although I can see your point OP I think overall yabu. Your comments about how hilarious it is that anyone could possibly disagree are making you come across as incapable of human empathy. Look at it from the consulant's point of view. He had an appointment scheduled with you. Unfortunately for him at the time of the appointment his body let him down and threw a bout of uncontrollable tiredness at him. It's no more his fault than if he'd had a migraine or hayfever or indigestion, any of which would have affected his concentration similarly. Wait for the report. If you feel it's lacking in any way then ask for a follow up appointment.

“Lacking in human empathy” is even funnier. Do you seriously think I’m unreasonable to expect that he should’ve excused himself to get a drink, splash his face with water etc. So he could come back and concentrate. Apart from anything else it’s a horrible feeling when you can’t stay awake. I would’ve thought he’d want to sort it out.

My partner who complains I have too much empathy for others will find that very amusing

Diemme

If the doctor was unable to stay awake because he was unwell or whatever then he should have rescheduled the appointment. I have sympathy for anyone who is unwell, tired, etc but if you’re at work then you should be well enough to do your job. If you’re not that’s fine, I’d be the first to say go home, rest and get better soon.

Sorry not RTFT but was it definitely a falling asleep eyes closing thing? I had a teacher who would do it when your talking to them one on one and I told someone about it who said it’s a tool they use with young people to show they’re listening/taking it all in without staring at them - this could be complete rubbish and not true but I just wanted to say it incase no one else had.

If he was falling asleep I would be fuming even if it was free and took 10mins it is still unacceptable

COMPLAIN. YANBU.

Had a GP like this some years ago, always appeared to be closing his eyes and dozing off in consultation. I often wondered if he could be on something, he appeared to be on the nod. His surgery had so many complaints about him which were logged on the NHS website, some very serious - misdiagnosis etc - that the practice was sold and another more successful local surgery took it over. I don't know what happened to him, I often wonder if he was struck off.
When DH and I went together for an appointment as DH wanted a referral for a vasectomy, this GP tried to entice me into having an IUD instead. He also suggested I had influenced DH into having 'the snip'. DH was livid and told him exactly what he thought of him.

If you were paying for this consultation I think you should be given full attention so I don't think you are being unreasonable.

The OP has form for complaining again medical professionals...

I remember you from a recent thread because I remember wondering how the midwife forced a bed bath on you if you weren’t paralysed from the neck down!

** I agree that she, or you, or her partner should ask to speak to the midwife in charge and say she’s not happy for Midwife A to come in her room at all from now on, and she’ll be making a complaint about her.
I had to do this when I had my first, the midwife insisted on giving me a bed bath without my agreement amongst other things. She was a total bitch who wouldn’t help me with breastfeeding and told me to express instead. **

@BadTattoosAndSmellLikeBooze

How can 63% of people think YABU ? 😮

Because she was PAYING for this private consultation and judged the consultant wasn't giving her his full attention.

She should have spoken up at the time, perhaps asked if he was unwell.

Like another person said, docs have been working long hours atm and trying to keep on top of any other work aswell and aside from any personal issues he may have had. They are only human.

If your kitchen fitter wasn't doing a good job, you'd soon speak up no doubt.