AIBU to complain that Doctor was virtually falling asleep in the consultation?

[BornOnThe4thJuly]

I took my DC for a Consultant appointment and the Doctor’s eyes were shutting for a split second constantly for the first hour or so but eventually he came round a bit towards the end.
Was I being unreasonable to say I want to see someone else? I can’t see how he can have taken in what we were saying, so god knows what the notes will say that he was typing.
It was very warm in the room, and it was late in the day, probably after a long week for him. I feel he should’ve excused himself though and gone and washed his face, got 2 mins fresh air, got a coffee, done something basically to sort himself out. Then returned to finish the assessment in a properly awake state!
I’m very annoyed at myself for not saying anything at the time. I was very taken aback and couldn’t think of what on earth to say to him, apart from WTF are you playing at!

How can 63% of people think YABU ? 😮

Some people shut their eyes to concentrate - how do you know he wasn't doing that? Even if he was tired, shutting his eyes for a split second, no matter how many times, is hardly 'virtually falling asleep'.

Did you ask him if he was ok? To fall asleep in that situation I would say he sounds unwell.

Many medical conditions can cause that kind of extreme tiredness.

Some people shut their eyes to concentrate - how do you know he wasn't doing that? Even if he was tired, shutting his eyes for a split second, no matter how many times, is hardly 'virtually falling asleep'.

Yeah right.

Of course it's virtually falling asleep!!

Some of the responses on this thread are very funny. OP you are not being unreasonable at all. It doesn't matter why the man was tired, if he wasn't listening properly then that could impact on your son's diagnosis etc. Plus I'm thinking wouldn't he need to interact with your son to make a proper assessment?

My DS was diagnosed as being on the autistic spectrum by an educational psychologist and that involved a lengthy chat as well as a 40 minute written assessment etc, but he was 16 at the time.

Are you sure he was shutting them in a "tired" way? I have a friend who closes her eyes a lot when she's talking to you, like a slow blink, she also rarely makes eye contact. I used to find it quite disconcerting, thinking I was boring her, but I'm used to it now. Of course, he could quite well have been really tired and nodding off, I'd wait and see what comes back from the consultation and then if you think it's obvious he wasn't paying attention ask for another consultation with someone different.

OP it’s the rule on MN that you should never ever criticise doctors, nurses or teachers.

I think I may have shouted ‘BANG’ really loudly to wake him up..

have you had the report back?

perhaps this was his way of concentrating on what you were saying?

was he actively yawning?

i guess it was his mannerism

I am surprised you had a physical appointment

was this some time ago?

was he in full PPE?

the Doctor’s eyes were shutting for a split second what, sort of like blinking?

@eaglejulesk

Some people shut their eyes to concentrate - how do you know he wasn't doing that? Even if he was tired, shutting his eyes for a split second, no matter how many times, is hardly 'virtually falling asleep'.

This is what I thought, closing eyes to think doesn't mean you're sleeping, which is why I put yabu.

If he was falling asleep it would of course be unacceptable, but what the op described was someone closing their eyes.

Was there any indication the consultant wasn't aware of what was going on?

@Alltneteabagshavegone

OP it’s the rule on MN that you should never ever criticise doctors, nurses or teachers.

I think I may have shouted ‘BANG’ really loudly to wake him up..

This made me laugh so much

Loving the " yeah, you paid for this appointment so he should have stayed awake! " as if your doctor falling asleep on the NHS is perfectly acceptable!

Sounds more like a tic. If he did his job properly I don't see the reason to complain.

What did he say when you pointed out he seemed to be falling asleep?

What was his response to your suggestion that he take a moment to refresh himself?

@CrowdedHouseinQuarantine

I am surprised you had a physical appointment

was this some time ago?

was he in full PPE?

As an ADHD examination doesn't involve physical contact, it's perfectly possible to do it at a two metre distance.

@Alltneteabagshavegone

OP it’s the rule on MN that you should never ever criticise doctors, nurses or teachers.

I think I may have shouted ‘BANG’ really loudly to wake him up..

Crikeys! I’ve been reading it wrong all this time, I thought that all Doctors, nurses and teachers were the scum of the earth on MN! As for health visitors- we won’t even go there.

OP, maybe the Dr was feeling unwell or had some irritation to his eyes? I certainly wouldn’t have shouted ‘bang’ as suggested by a previous poster especially as you said he shut his eyes for a ‘split second‘ but I don’t understand why you didn’t mention something at the time? Have you had the report yet?

People mentioning mannerisms, if you watch Diane Abbott she shuts her eyes when talking- just a thought.

I’m not sure why the consultant is a “poor bloke”. This is his job and I’m assuming that long appointments aren’t uncommon if you book a private consultant. In my experience of going to many, many appointments with my son who has ADHD and ASD, having to go through the list of things my son struggles with day to day (the list can be changeable) is exhausting and can be upsetting. Poor bloke? Poor OP and her child.

I’d want to see a different consultant next time too btw.

I am still asking if he was in full PPE
and wondering why this was not a telephone/video appointment

i hope the room was ventilated

Some people have a habit of 'extended blinks' which is nothing to do with being tired or falling asleep.

I'm really surprised you got a 2hr appt at the moment for an ADHD assessment AND the dr wasn't in a mask, or the room didn't have open windows.

Which part of the UK is this OP?

Im going with YABU as you sat there for 2 hours and didnt say anything. If you complained after 10 mins he could have had a nap you would save everyone some time, now he has worked for 2 hours and you dont want to pay him.

Its like going to a resturant eating all your food, then saying it wasnt nice and you want something else for free.

Not everyone with ADHD is hyperactive.

What do you think the H stands for?

Find it hard to believe anyone has a 2hr appointment for this AT THE MOMENT and I'd like to know more about whether this was a private practice, an appt at a private hospital or what.

My professional work included children with ADHD and I had feedback from hundreds of parents on consultations with psychologists and so on, both privately and NHS.

What do you think the H stands for

You are wrong @1willgetthere Not all children/ adults are 'hyper'. It can show as lack of concentration and day dreaming and withdrawing of attention without the HYPER element. It's a spectrum and not everyone is hyper. Many are more attention deficit but the umbrella term is used for convenience.