AIBU to complain that Doctor was virtually falling asleep in the consultation?

[BornOnThe4thJuly]

I took my DC for a Consultant appointment and the Doctor’s eyes were shutting for a split second constantly for the first hour or so but eventually he came round a bit towards the end.
Was I being unreasonable to say I want to see someone else? I can’t see how he can have taken in what we were saying, so god knows what the notes will say that he was typing.
It was very warm in the room, and it was late in the day, probably after a long week for him. I feel he should’ve excused himself though and gone and washed his face, got 2 mins fresh air, got a coffee, done something basically to sort himself out. Then returned to finish the assessment in a properly awake state!
I’m very annoyed at myself for not saying anything at the time. I was very taken aback and couldn’t think of what on earth to say to him, apart from WTF are you playing at!

i imagine ppe would still need to be worn even if it was a psychological assessment

I think it's a mistake to assume the dr also worked in the NHS.

There are many private centres across the UK that offer these assessments. I know (of) a lot of them through my work.

Not all the drs are medical drs- some have PhDs in various areas.

That's why I have asked the OP who did the assessment (not a name of course) because some of these centres are not that great to be frank.

i imagine ppe would still need to be worn even if it was a psychological assessment

Yes, of course, but PPE covers a whole range of things - it's not always the highest level of protective masks like for surgery. My hairdresser wears PPE!

[quote BornOnThe4thJuly]@WhyCantIBeYou Thanks, I’m really annoyed I didn’t deal with it at the time, but I can’t change that now. I am going to say I want another assessment though, with someone who is giving us their full attention. I’m annoyed that my DC will have to go through it all again though [/quote]
I would ask for the report because you don't think he was focussed properly.

Then say if the report is completely unrepresentative of the conversation you want a full re assessment at cost of hospital.

But that if there's only a few discrepancies due to lack of film attention you want a telephone consult to rectify this.

He may have been paying more attention than you think and need to work on his people skills rather than his medical ones!
And also if it's not as bad as you think it will save your ds having to go through the assessment again.

@MiniMum97
'Not everyone with ADHD is hyperactive.'
Surely then they don't have ADHD? The clues in the H bit. If they don't, they may have ADD.

@JinglingHellsBells

Some people have a habit of 'extended blinks' which is nothing to do with being tired or falling asleep.

I'm really surprised you got a 2hr appt at the moment for an ADHD assessment AND the dr wasn't in a mask, or the room didn't have open windows.

Which part of the UK is this OP?

North West. This wasn’t the sometimes fluttery shutting your eyes but clearly still concentrating type of mannerism. This was the very slowly shutting your eyes, then jerking them awake type.

@1willgetthere

Im going with YABU as you sat there for 2 hours and didnt say anything. If you complained after 10 mins he could have had a nap you would save everyone some time, now he has worked for 2 hours and you dont want to pay him.

Its like going to a resturant eating all your food, then saying it wasnt nice and you want something else for free.

I actually paid him before we even got there. I agree I should’ve said something at the time, I’ve explained why I didn’t. I still feel it was up to him to deal with though, not my responsibility to sort him out. So I think it’s fair enough to ask to see someone else.

Imo they rarely listen to the finer details in assessments anyway.
They've heard it all many times before the doctor will know the ins and outs.
Wait on the report.
I went through a private assessments last year. I had to save money for months the 2 psychologist were awake alert to me until I got there report it was evident they weren't listening at all.
Thankfully the OT was focused.
My advice is wait on the report.

@JinglingHellsBells

Find it hard to believe anyone has a 2hr appointment for this AT THE MOMENT and I'd like to know more about whether this was a private practice, an appt at a private hospital or what.

My professional work included children with ADHD and I had feedback from hundreds of parents on consultations with psychologists and so on, both privately and NHS.

Yes private. I didn’t feel my son would engage over Zoom/Skype, so specifically searched for somewhere offering face to face appointment. Then drove for hours to get there.

*their.

Did you get the diagnosis you paid for?

12:20am " AIBU to complain..."

1:20am OP posts this...I’ve already emailed to complain, so I’m not looking for advice on whether I should or not.

nothing to see here really eh OP?

I’m going to say something which you may find rude, but may be pertinent.

Sometimes, parents talk a lot about their children, and bury the important information in a lot of irrelevant or extraneous detail.

In order to make a diagnosis, synthesising reports from different settings (including the written history and written observations from the parent), and observation of the young person, will have more weight than 2 hours of parental talking.

I too would advise waiting for the report before deciding on whether you need a re-assessment.

I think you were boring him.

YABU for not saying anything at the time. If you were so certain he was nodding off (which you now seem pretty adamant about) then you would/should have definitely raised it there and then. I suspect you’re convincing yourself more after the fact

Could it have been the “long blink” that some people do? I’m not sure if it’s a nervous thing .. but my doctor does it. talks with eyes shut for a second with long held blinks. Or was his head dropping off too?

actually paid him before we even got there

I'm really sorry @BornOnThe4thJuly but the more I hear about this the less I like it.

I used to accompany parents going to these assessments as a professional . I have also read many assessment for both ADHD and associated conditions .

I would never advice anyone to pay upfront for an appt. It is not the usual practice with private medical appts or assessments.

You might be asked to pay a deposit of around £50 to cover 'no show.'
You might be asked to provide CC details again for no show.
But usually you pay on the day after the appt or they invoice you.

Is this a private centre solely offering ADHD/ dyslexia/ Asperger assessments, or does the consultant hire a room at a private hospital?

@CrowdedHouseinQuarantine

Did you get the diagnosis you paid for?

That is ignorant and way below the belt

Yes private. I didn’t feel my son would engage over Zoom/Skype, so specifically searched for somewhere offering face to face appointment. Then drove for hours to get there.

How did you choose this centre?

Was it through recommendation from your GP?
Or from other parents?
Or a google search?

what are the dr's qualifications?

What kind of dr is he?

(I hope you know!)

I must say it is normal to pay in advance

OK, but you still have not said that you got the diagnosis confirmed, I presume not, hence the complaint

I must say it is normal to pay in advance
Is that your personal experience @CrowdedHouseinQuarantine ?

It's not the norm with private hospitals (used them for over 35 years) and not usual for other psychologist type assessments.

@CrowdedHouseinQuarantine I assume you don't know much about assessments and how they work?

A professional would very rarely, if ever, give the results of an assessment there and then. They go away and write a report which can be many pages long. They may also need to do some stats and work out results.

Also it would be very unlikely to tell a parent their child had XYZ in front of the child.

Your post is quite odd- 'wants to complain as she didn't get the result she wanted'.

Yes it is

I don't think you are the authority on every assessment @jing