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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to complain that Doctor was virtually falling asleep in the consultation?

229 replies

BornOnThe4thJuly · 02/08/2020 00:21

I took my DC for a Consultant appointment and the Doctor’s eyes were shutting for a split second constantly for the first hour or so but eventually he came round a bit towards the end.
Was I being unreasonable to say I want to see someone else? I can’t see how he can have taken in what we were saying, so god knows what the notes will say that he was typing.
It was very warm in the room, and it was late in the day, probably after a long week for him. I feel he should’ve excused himself though and gone and washed his face, got 2 mins fresh air, got a coffee, done something basically to sort himself out. Then returned to finish the assessment in a properly awake state!
I’m very annoyed at myself for not saying anything at the time. I was very taken aback and couldn’t think of what on earth to say to him, apart from WTF are you playing at!

OP posts:
bobbiester · 02/08/2020 00:24

the Doctor’s eyes were shutting for a split second constantly for the first hour or so but eventually he came round a bit towards the end.

First hour or so? How long did the appointment last?

ButteryPuffin · 02/08/2020 00:27

First hour? How long did this take? Was it an A&E visit or a regular appointment at a clinic you've been to before?

Original poster
BornOnThe4thJuly · 02/08/2020 00:27

@bobbiester

the Doctor’s eyes were shutting for a split second constantly for the first hour or so but eventually he came round a bit towards the end.

First hour or so? How long did the appointment last?

Just over 2 hours.
OP posts:
Original poster
BornOnThe4thJuly · 02/08/2020 00:28

@ButteryPuffin

First hour? How long did this take? Was it an A&E visit or a regular appointment at a clinic you've been to before?
ADHD assessment with a private Consultant, hence taking so long, first appointment.
OP posts:
DressingGownofDoom · 02/08/2020 00:29

Wow. Poor bloke.

Original poster
BornOnThe4thJuly · 02/08/2020 00:30

@DressingGownofDoom

Wow. Poor bloke.
Grin poor bloke how?
OP posts:
Original poster
BornOnThe4thJuly · 02/08/2020 00:31

Anyone fancy explaining why I would be unreasonable to be pissed off he couldn’t stay properly awake? I guess maybe the YABU voters think it’s bullshit? I wish it was after the amount of money it bloody cost us!

OP posts:
WhyCantIBeYou · 02/08/2020 00:36

Of course you're not being unreasonable and anyone who tries to argue otherwise is an idiot. Who wants their doctor falling asleep mid consultation? How about a surgeon dropping off mid operation?

I'm sure he was hot and tired. That's understandable - it's a full on job. But you're right - he should have excused himself for 5 mins to splash his face and grab some iced water or a coffee

MrsTerryPratchett · 02/08/2020 00:40

I'm amazed he could fall asleep during an assessment for ADHD. DD had her assessment and the bloke would have had a very hard time dozing off! DD would have destroyed the office.

She's much better now.

Original poster
BornOnThe4thJuly · 02/08/2020 00:42

@WhyCantIBeYou Thanks, I’m really annoyed I didn’t deal with it at the time, but I can’t change that now. I am going to say I want another assessment though, with someone who is giving us their full attention. I’m annoyed that my DC will have to go through it all again though Angry

OP posts:
WhyCantIBeYou · 02/08/2020 00:44

I'd certainly be asking for another consultation with a different consultant. If you've gone privately then it's not unreasonable to expect what goes along with paying a lot of money - namely an attentive service!

Original poster
BornOnThe4thJuly · 02/08/2020 00:44

@MrsTerryPratchett

I'm amazed he could fall asleep during an assessment for ADHD. DD had her assessment and the bloke would have had a very hard time dozing off! DD would have destroyed the office.

She's much better now.

My DC was just jumping about on the arm chair, clicking his tongue, hitting my feet etc. So not moving round the room or being really noisy. I was amazed he didn’t do something about it though!
OP posts:
Original poster
BornOnThe4thJuly · 02/08/2020 00:51

50/50 on the voting virtually, that’s hilarious. People don’t expect much from their doctors then? I guess that’s AIBU for you though. Maybe I should’ve suggested he have a little lie down on the couch that was conveniently in the room, while we sat quietly and waited for him to have a nap Grin

OP posts:
MiniMum97 · 02/08/2020 00:54

@MrsTerryPratchett

I'm amazed he could fall asleep during an assessment for ADHD. DD had her assessment and the bloke would have had a very hard time dozing off! DD would have destroyed the office.

She's much better now.

Not everyone with ADHD is hyperactive.
Original poster
BornOnThe4thJuly · 02/08/2020 01:08

@DressingGownofDoom

I’m still wondering how he’s a “poor bloke”? Maybe we were boring him. He should possibly look for another job. (I love the username by the way)

OP posts:
EveryDayIsADuvetDay · 02/08/2020 01:13

Maybe he had a nervous tic?

EveryDayIsADuvetDay · 02/08/2020 01:16

50/50 on the voting virtually, that’s hilarious
why post on AIBU if you're really only looking for an echo chamber?

ButteryPuffin · 02/08/2020 01:18

If it was a planned private appointment that you've paid for, then definitely complain. I haven't voted btw. But I asked what I did because if this was A&E, the doctor might have been at the end of a long difficult shift and that could be different. In your shoes I would want a new appointment at no extra charge.

Original poster
BornOnThe4thJuly · 02/08/2020 01:18

@EveryDayIsADuvetDay

Maybe he had a nervous tic?
Maybe you’re right. I’ve never seen someone with any kind of similar tic, but I’m certainly no expert. It certainly looked like he was fighting to stay awake whenever he wasn’t speaking himself.
OP posts:
Original poster
BornOnThe4thJuly · 02/08/2020 01:20

@EveryDayIsADuvetDay

50/50 on the voting virtually, that’s hilarious why post on AIBU if you're really only looking for an echo chamber?
I’m not at all, like I say I think it’s really funny! We’re all entitled to our own opinion, and I am interested in how others would feel about it. I’ve already emailed to complain, so I’m not looking for advice on whether I should or not.
OP posts:
Original poster
BornOnThe4thJuly · 02/08/2020 01:23

@ButteryPuffin

If it was a planned private appointment that you've paid for, then definitely complain. I haven't voted btw. But I asked what I did because if this was A&E, the doctor might have been at the end of a long difficult shift and that could be different. In your shoes I would want a new appointment at no extra charge.
Yes I agree an A&E type situation would be different, but I’d still expect them to go and try to sort themselves out, cold water on their face etc. They do have other Consultants listed on their website, so hopefully we’ll be able to see someone else and start again.
OP posts:
MrsTerryPratchett · 02/08/2020 01:26

Not everyone with ADHD is hyperactive.

Possibly you misread my tone. I was going for "lighthearted and empathetic'.

NeverHadANickname · 02/08/2020 02:06

If it was a normal GP visit I could understand him just trying to get through it to a point, strict timescales and short appointment lengths. But you had a long appointment so taking a few minutes out to try and pull himself together wouldn't have had too much of an effect on the appointment. YANBU.

WhatWouldYouDoWhatWouldJesusDo · 02/08/2020 02:16

This happened to me years ago when they'd hauled an old paed who'd been put out to pasture back in to work......... Luckily he dicta phoned all meetings so the reports were OK.

He was well known for it and was easy trotting on for 80 before he retired.

Fefifobum · 02/08/2020 02:37

Just a thought but lots of doctors take on private work on top of their “normal work” they could have come off an excessive working week, been at the forefront of the pandemic that we are in, looking after shielding relatives as well as working and running their own home life/family, could have had a bad night with a teething baby etc...
Everyone is only human and we have all had that nodding off moment. Doesn’t excuse them but they should have been professional and excused themselves and you could also have said something instead of sitting through another hour or so of the appointment!
You could have ask if they were ok?

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