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Original poster

Offered to sponsor a ‘friend’ and......

150 replies

TableFlowerss · 01/08/2020 20:57

In a nutshell - a girl I used to go to school with many years ago was doing a sponsored walk.

On her FB she asks if people would consider sponsoring her and the charity.

I thought it was a great effort so tried to donate £30 following link. For sons reason it wouldn’t work and wanted me to log in (I was already logged in)

DP tried at my request as it was public in friends FB page but he got an error message.

Anyway- I sent a message to said friend and explained and that I liked her effort and cause and would like to sponsor her £30. If she wants to send me bank details etc as I couldn’t do it with link provided.

That was about 10am and she’s not replied! I can see she’s been on line a few times since.

Now we are not close at all and she’s not a friend in the true term as I’ve not seen her since school. We have been FB friends for many years though.

I feel a bit annoyed and that she doesn’t trust me with her bank details or something. I mean I work in finance and there’s not much you can do with a sort code and an account number.

My DH is also a professional and spend many years at uni to get his qualifications. We both worth in fiends whereby you have to be trustworthy or you could do all sorts.

I also notice of the 21 people that have donated (I could see if in FB) our sponsor was the most.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not after major thanks, it’s only £30 and I liked the charity and that’s why I offered.

But I feel a bit annoyed that they have acknowledged it. It’s not like we’re close and done times you feel under pressure. I wanted to to help.

I feel like my friend is rude/ungrateful and doesn’t trust me!!!

OP posts:
MidnightCitrus · 01/08/2020 20:59

you sound like my DM - its all a conspiracy and she's doing it on purpose...

in reality, she probably hasnt got round to it yet - she'd have to dig out her card/statement etc....

Feralkidsatthecampsite · 01/08/2020 21:00

Maybe she just wants the amounts that show on fb?

Original poster
TableFlowerss · 01/08/2020 21:01

@MidnightCitrus

you sound like my DM - its all a conspiracy and she's doing it on purpose...

in reality, she probably hasnt got round to it yet - she'd have to dig out her card/statement etc....

Perhaps but as it’s for charity and not her, surely it’s better to get a move on.

Also she’s free enough to be on FB so can’t be too constrained with time

OP posts:
Original poster
TableFlowerss · 01/08/2020 21:02

@Feralkidsatthecampsite

Maybe she just wants the amounts that show on fb?
Perhaps would if it’s for charity, I would have thought the more the better. I wouldn’t assume someone would put a limit on it
OP posts:
Original poster
TableFlowerss · 01/08/2020 21:03

but not would

OP posts:
julybaby32 · 01/08/2020 21:06

Maybe just donate directly to the charity?

PatricksRum · 01/08/2020 21:08
Confused

She'll reply when she has time to.
If she doesn't then you've not lost anything. What's the big issue?

StrikesMatches · 01/08/2020 21:08

there’s not much you can do with a sort code and an account number.
A charity I used to work for posted their account details on their website for people to make donations. Someone took their details and used them to sign up to pay for a phone bill by direct debit. It was a massive hassle to get the phone companyto refund the money paid. I don't give my bank details anyone I don't know well.

Original poster
TableFlowerss · 01/08/2020 21:08

@julybaby32

Maybe just donate directly to the charity?
Good idea. I think I will! I suppose I was marking her effort.
OP posts:
Original poster
TableFlowerss · 01/08/2020 21:09

@PatricksRum

Confused

She'll reply when she has time to.
If she doesn't then you've not lost anything. What's the big issue?

People are rude that’s my issue.

If you actively seek sponsors then don’t reply it’s pointless

OP posts:
ItchyScratch · 01/08/2020 21:11

Do you suffer from paranoia as you sound like a very paranoid person.

I think the majority of people if they hasn’t received a reply to that message would not give a second thought.

You are stressing about it and there is really no need.

At best- she has read it but been too busy to reply and maybe forgotten

At worse- she wants donations only via the page and doesn’t want to let you know so has chose to ignore the message.

Either way- I wouldn’t give it another thought. You’ve done your bit by being kind enough to consider sponsoring. Leave it at that.

Madre1972 · 01/08/2020 21:12

I’d rather put the money in myself than deal with somebody so needy. You have no idea how many balls she’s trying to juggle, not everyone is glued to their fb/phone etc all day. I sometimes skim read messages and reply when I have the time, this need for everything to be immediate is draining.

Boomclaps · 01/08/2020 21:13

Seriously - she could be doing anything.
There could be an emergency, she could be sick, she could’ve fallen asleep.

ScrapThatThen · 01/08/2020 21:14

Maybe her messenger doesn't show her your messages

Scrumptiousbears · 01/08/2020 21:14

I get messages that I don't even read until I'm in a position to answer them maybe she's reported the error and is waiting on an outcome before she contacts you. I think you're being a bit premature here.

Original poster
TableFlowerss · 01/08/2020 21:14

@StrikesMatches

there’s not much you can do with a sort code and an account number. A charity I used to work for posted their account details on their website for people to make donations. Someone took their details and used them to sign up to pay for a phone bill by direct debit. It was a massive hassle to get the phone companyto refund the money paid. I don't give my bank details anyone I don't know well.
Yes I agree there are certain things you can do, however it is limited to pretty much direct debits. If you check you account regularly, then that would soon flag up and any most financial institutions would compensate as it would be claimed back as fraud.

Faster payment is a method used by many people, both personal and business payments. It’s no more risky than a check which also had bank details on.

I get what you’re saying, however the benefits outweigh the cons.

OP posts:
Original poster
TableFlowerss · 01/08/2020 21:15

cheque I mean

OP posts:
lyralalala · 01/08/2020 21:16

She might be out and about. I wouldn't be typing my sort code and account number onto my phone on a bus or the likes. Or she may not have her card with her. Or she might be trying to sort the link since other people are probably having the same problem.

Chloemol · 01/08/2020 21:16

Just donate direct to the charity and tell her that’s what you have done

Findingapath · 01/08/2020 21:17

Maybe she hasn’t seen your message. I use FB but not the messenger (I just don’t want another means of contact I have to check) and have had people send me messages on there that I have completely missed until they’ve mentioned it in person.

Original poster
TableFlowerss · 01/08/2020 21:21

@Findingapath

Maybe she hasn’t seen your message. I use FB but not the messenger (I just don’t want another means of contact I have to check) and have had people send me messages on there that I have completely missed until they’ve mentioned it in person.
It shows her picture so I know in this instance she must have read it. Maybe it was a quick read
OP posts:
CoRhona · 01/08/2020 21:21

I have two accounts. One I know sort code and number off by heart. The other, I know neither and would have to have my card in front of me.

You are massively overthinking this and just sound like such hard work.

Are you unhappy because everyone else won't be able to see your donation? Hmm

WarriorsComeOutToPlayay · 01/08/2020 21:22

You messaged someone you don't know particularly well at 10am on a Saturday morning and you think it unacceptable that she hasn't responded the same day. You already sound crazy and adding the bit about you and your -unknown to her- husband having trustworthy jobs is just weird. This is a case of 'it's not her, it's definitely you'.

ddl1 · 01/08/2020 21:22

More than likely she just hasn't got round to it!

Original poster
TableFlowerss · 01/08/2020 21:24

@CoRhona

I have two accounts. One I know sort code and number off by heart. The other, I know neither and would have to have my card in front of me.

You are massively overthinking this and just sound like such hard work.

Are you unhappy because everyone else won't be able to see your donation? Hmm

Obviously not because if it was for show I’d have write directly on her FB page for all to see and not via a private message.....
OP posts:
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