Offered to sponsor a ‘friend’ and......

[TableFlowerss]

In a nutshell - a girl I used to go to school with many years ago was doing a sponsored walk.

On her FB she asks if people would consider sponsoring her and the charity.

I thought it was a great effort so tried to donate £30 following link. For sons reason it wouldn’t work and wanted me to log in (I was already logged in)

DP tried at my request as it was public in friends FB page but he got an error message.

Anyway- I sent a message to said friend and explained and that I liked her effort and cause and would like to sponsor her £30. If she wants to send me bank details etc as I couldn’t do it with link provided.

That was about 10am and she’s not replied! I can see she’s been on line a few times since.

Now we are not close at all and she’s not a friend in the true term as I’ve not seen her since school. We have been FB friends for many years though.

I feel a bit annoyed and that she doesn’t trust me with her bank details or something. I mean I work in finance and there’s not much you can do with a sort code and an account number.

My DH is also a professional and spend many years at uni to get his qualifications. We both worth in fiends whereby you have to be trustworthy or you could do all sorts.

I also notice of the 21 people that have donated (I could see if in FB) our sponsor was the most.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not after major thanks, it’s only £30 and I liked the charity and that’s why I offered.

But I feel a bit annoyed that they have acknowledged it. It’s not like we’re close and done times you feel under pressure. I wanted to to help.

I feel like my friend is rude/ungrateful and doesn’t trust me!!!

Honestly OP...you do sound a little weird about this! Just leave it and calm down 🤦‍♀️

Do you know she’s been on the messenger app rather than just Facebook? I only have the Facebook app which doesn’t show your messages and I assume it shows me as being online so I probably look like I’m ignoring anyone who messages me

As it's for charity she probably doesn't want any money paid directly into her bank account in case there are any accusations of her doing something dodgy with the money.

Far better for you to pay it directly to the charity so it's all transparent and above board.

@WarriorsComeOutToPlayay

You messaged someone you don't know particularly well at 10am on a Saturday morning and you think it unacceptable that she hasn't responded the same day. You already sound crazy and adding the bit about you and your -unknown to her- husband having trustworthy jobs is just weird. This is a case of 'it's not her, it's definitely you'.

I don’t see how that’s weird. Certain jobs require more security checks than others!

@VeeDubber

As it's for charity she probably doesn't want any money paid directly into her bank account in case there are any accusations of her doing something dodgy with the money.

Far better for you to pay it directly to the charity so it's all transparent and above board.

Very true. I didn’t think of that,

If I hadn’t been in contact for years there’s no way I’d be giving you my bank details - I don’t really know you. Just donate to a charity direct

I keep my online banking apps on my iPad so if i was out and using my phone I wouldn’t have access to bank details to send straight away.

If other people are managing to use her sponsor link, I'd be a bit about you wanting bank details by private message too. And I also wouldn't want the money coming to me directly.

You must have an ad-blocker or something stopping you, I'd try again that way.

@Franklyyes

If I hadn’t been in contact for years there’s no way I’d be giving you my bank details - I don’t really know you. Just donate to a charity direct

That’s fair enough but A- just say that and B- again there isn’t much that can be done with account details alone. It’s no worse than going in to a shop and paying with your card. The person could be noting down card details.

You seem rather OTT ... perhaps she views you that way as well.

Maybe she is trying to get to the bottom of the issue with the link before coming back to you? She can then reply and say "sorry about that, it should be working now" or something along those lines.

That's what i'd do in her position.

I do think you've unnecessarily jumped to strange conclusions to be honest.

Give her a bit more time for goodness sakes. She may have other things to do right now.

@category12

If other people are managing to use her sponsor link, I'd be a bit about you wanting bank details by private message too. And I also wouldn't want the money coming to me directly.

You must have an ad-blocker or something stopping you, I'd try again that way.

That’s true and that’s what I’m thinking she must be thinking.

It asks for my full log in details on FB via safari which is weird and DH got further and it didn’t require his details but said an error has occurred.

I’m guessing she’s had loads of people messaging her to say the link isn’t working and she’s either not got round to answering them all yet or she’s missed yours.
I’d give her until Monday morning before I chased her.

@howfarwevecome

You seem rather OTT ... perhaps she views you that way as well.

She doesn’t know though. I’ve simply explained the situation to her as it is and fit nothing back.

Perhaps I am OTT but gratitude or manners are high on my priority list

there isn’t much that can be done with account details alone.

She may not know that, (I'm not sure I'm convinced by it either) and messenger isn't secure - plus you can probably find out a lot of information about her from her Facebook, birth date etc, her pets names, all stuff that might be useful if you were not genuine.

You sound very hard work

This is the strangest most self rite kid thread EVER.
Manners are important , do you realise how strange your message will be from her perspective? And most people are crazy busy on a Sat, so it’s probably slipped her mind.
You really need to put this out of your head and relax.

*riteous

@category12

there isn’t much that can be done with account details alone.

She may not know that, (I'm not sure I'm convinced by it either) and messenger isn't secure - plus you can probably find out a lot of information about her from her Facebook, birth date etc, her pets names, all stuff that might be useful if you were not genuine.

Yes you could, it’s not 100% fool proof however it’s no more risky than giving someone a cheque.

That was the preferred method of payment for many many years and still people use them to this day, particularly older people. They often say they don’t trust technology, yet they’re sort code and account number is on every cheque they give out.

(She’s in a pretty senior position and has studied for many years, so I’d be shocked if she wasn’t savvy in this area)

I find it very demanding and entitled that someone would get annoyed at the fact that someone has dared to not reply in the timescale that they deem acceptable. Very OTT.

I don’t see how that’s weird.

Trust me. It's weird. You're weird. This whole thread is weird.

Just send the money to the charity and chill

“(She’s in a pretty senior position and has studied for many years, so I’d be shocked if she wasn’t savvy in this area)”
How do you know that this if you aren’t actually friends in RL?

Wow, you sound like hard work