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AIBU?

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Original poster

Offered to sponsor a ‘friend’ and......

150 replies

TableFlowerss · 01/08/2020 20:57

In a nutshell - a girl I used to go to school with many years ago was doing a sponsored walk.

On her FB she asks if people would consider sponsoring her and the charity.

I thought it was a great effort so tried to donate £30 following link. For sons reason it wouldn’t work and wanted me to log in (I was already logged in)

DP tried at my request as it was public in friends FB page but he got an error message.

Anyway- I sent a message to said friend and explained and that I liked her effort and cause and would like to sponsor her £30. If she wants to send me bank details etc as I couldn’t do it with link provided.

That was about 10am and she’s not replied! I can see she’s been on line a few times since.

Now we are not close at all and she’s not a friend in the true term as I’ve not seen her since school. We have been FB friends for many years though.

I feel a bit annoyed and that she doesn’t trust me with her bank details or something. I mean I work in finance and there’s not much you can do with a sort code and an account number.

My DH is also a professional and spend many years at uni to get his qualifications. We both worth in fiends whereby you have to be trustworthy or you could do all sorts.

I also notice of the 21 people that have donated (I could see if in FB) our sponsor was the most.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not after major thanks, it’s only £30 and I liked the charity and that’s why I offered.

But I feel a bit annoyed that they have acknowledged it. It’s not like we’re close and done times you feel under pressure. I wanted to to help.

I feel like my friend is rude/ungrateful and doesn’t trust me!!!

OP posts:
Biscusting · 01/08/2020 22:13

Would she have remembered your from school? Is it only close friends and family that have donated? Maybe she thinks it’s weird that you have contacted her out of the blue, or didn’t realise you were Facebook friends and could see her post.

Maybe she recalls you being hard work and is giving you a wide berth!

Biscusting · 01/08/2020 22:15

Agree she may think it’s a scam, if you’ve never contacted her before.

I’ve had weird fb messages from friends accounts that turn out to have been hacked.

RogerBannister · 01/08/2020 22:15

Harold Shipman went to university for years to get his qualifications too.

TheMistressQuickly · 01/08/2020 22:18

Omg is this major enough to post on a forum? I think not

NoGinNotComingIn · 01/08/2020 22:18

What has the number of years your husband spent at uni got to do with anything 😆?!

Boireannachlaidir · 01/08/2020 22:23

Perhaps I am OTT but gratitude or manners are high on my priority list

Oh FGS you are definitely coming across as hard work. Just donate to the charity directly. She doesn't need you to recognise her efforts and she certainly doesn't need this angst... that you even calculated who has contributed the most jeeeeze Louise Confused

FourPillars · 01/08/2020 22:24

Just relax, you sound far too invested in this.
Plus, what does your husband’s job have to do with any of this? Is all the info about your jobs to negate the fact you can’t work a FB link? It may be you, it may be a link with errors, and your friend could have a myriad of reasons why she hasn’t responded to you in the time frame you deem reasonable.
If the cause is so important to you, donate to them and let her know.
Then step away from the electronics and breathe.

ArthurMorgan · 01/08/2020 22:25
Hmm
EmbarrassedUser · 01/08/2020 22:27

@StrikesMatches

there’s not much you can do with a sort code and an account number. A charity I used to work for posted their account details on their website for people to make donations. Someone took their details and used them to sign up to pay for a phone bill by direct debit. It was a massive hassle to get the phone companyto refund the money paid. I don't give my bank details anyone I don't know well.
What the hell!! I hope that scumbag was punished properly. How on Earth did they think that was acceptable and how did they think they’d get away with it?!!
Genderwitched · 01/08/2020 22:28

This thread is so odd. the OP getting all in a tizzy about not much at all and everyone on it desperately trying to work out reasons why the long lost friend hasn't replied yet.

I think that you are a bit weird and high maintenance OP and your sort of friend is a bit rude, can we all go now?

Original poster
TableFlowerss · 01/08/2020 22:30

@Genderwitched

This thread is so odd. the OP getting all in a tizzy about not much at all and everyone on it desperately trying to work out reasons why the long lost friend hasn't replied yet.

I think that you are a bit weird and high maintenance OP and your sort of friend is a bit rude, can we all go now?

The last bit made me 😂
OP posts:
Original poster
TableFlowerss · 01/08/2020 22:31

@Genderwitched

This thread is so odd. the OP getting all in a tizzy about not much at all and everyone on it desperately trying to work out reasons why the long lost friend hasn't replied yet.

I think that you are a bit weird and high maintenance OP and your sort of friend is a bit rude, can we all go now?

I fact I’ve just read it all again and actually properly lold

Thank you for making me laugh about a situation I was raging about 😂😂

OP posts:
Pikachubaby · 01/08/2020 22:39

Yes, catch yourself Grin it’s silly to get worked up over nothing

VenusTiger · 01/08/2020 22:41

OP, tbh, if I received a msg from a friend I hadn't seen since school, so didn't know well, asking for my bank details (savvy or not) when other sponsors appear to have not had any problems donating online, I'd definitely find it odd. Send her a cheque in the post - that is, if she'll give you her address.... probably not - but then that's okay too, don't msg her again, it's like you're hassling her. Best thing in situations like this, is to just forget about it and move on, she might respond when she's not busy - she may well have read your msg and then forgotten about it.

Jamestown · 01/08/2020 22:44

@StrikesMatches you cannot pay by debit card with just the sort code and account number. A debit card has a 16 digit number on the card, just like a credit card. Paying by debit card you are also asked for the expiry date and the three digit security code, so what you have said is not correct.
Also, remember that long before internet banking cheques showed the sort code and account number so those have never been confidential.

hammie46i · 01/08/2020 22:46

I think it's likely she hasn't had time to reply yet. You have to give out bank details to people sometimes, I don't get why anyone would be paranoid about that. I've had sellers on FB marketplace send me their bank details...complete strangers.

Genderwitched · 01/08/2020 22:47

@TableFlowerss

Glad you feel cheered up, I've spent most of the day arguing with my sister so badly need some lightheartedness Smile

Original poster
TableFlowerss · 01/08/2020 22:54

[quote Jamestown]@StrikesMatches you cannot pay by debit card with just the sort code and account number. A debit card has a 16 digit number on the card, just like a credit card. Paying by debit card you are also asked for the expiry date and the three digit security code, so what you have said is not correct.
Also, remember that long before internet banking cheques showed the sort code and account number so those have never been confidential.[/quote]
Exactly!! This this and this especially about cheques

OP posts:
Newsorrynewagain · 01/08/2020 22:54

Maybe she has a smart watch and has seen the message on it and will reply later... but seriously your annoyed she hasn’t replied straight away 🙇‍♀️

Original poster
TableFlowerss · 01/08/2020 22:55

@hammie46i

I think it's likely she hasn't had time to reply yet. You have to give out bank details to people sometimes, I don't get why anyone would be paranoid about that. I've had sellers on FB marketplace send me their bank details...complete strangers.
And this exactly - if you want paid- you give the details.
OP posts:
JizzPigeon22 · 01/08/2020 22:55

Setting up directs debits is sort code and account number.

One off purchases are long card number.

Original poster
TableFlowerss · 01/08/2020 22:56

[quote Genderwitched]@TableFlowerss

Glad you feel cheered up, I've spent most of the day arguing with my sister so badly need some lightheartedness Smile[/quote]
I am laughing now. Your post cheered me up. I read it a bit stoney faced then I started smirking then burst out laughing 😂

OP posts:
KitKat2020 · 01/08/2020 22:58

It’s likely that she just doesn’t have the time or headspace to deal with admin right now.

Seeing as you don’t have a close relationship, it’s an unrealistic expectation to anticipate a quick response.

PinkConfetti · 01/08/2020 23:07

She probably does remember you from school hence ignoring you.
Personally I'd block you if I were her.
Bizarre behaviour. She doesn't need this.

tigger1001 · 01/08/2020 23:10

Op I do think you are being ott.

Not everyone replies to messages right away. I dont always get an alert for messenger so have missed a few that way. One from someone apologising for something then getting in a Tiz as I hadn't responded. I was unaware I had a message.

If I'm busy I don't answer straight away. Sometimes can be days before I remember. We seem to live in a world where we want everything right now.

Add in that asking for someone's bank details - someone you don't know well, it's odd. And while you might be happy to do thar most people wouldn't, especially over Facebook messenger which isn't known for being secure.