Someone just congratulated me on my non existent pregnancy

[TerracottaTortoise]

God this is embarrassing. Just out for a walk (working up to couch to 5k following a severe depression that left me housebound for months and months) and a complete stranger got my attention, rubbed their belly and said "not long now" followed by a thumbs up and a rocking baby action.

I could have died on the spot.

I recently posted here about how self conscious I felt about exercising in public and was really trying to embrace the 'not giving a shit' attitude that everyone encouraged me to do.

I already feel disgusting but this has really cemented how gross I must be.

AIBU to be hurt and upset by this or am I really THAT overweight that I look like I could pop out a child imminently?!

In Wales we affectionately call it a "Bol"

People shouldn’t comment and you should wear what you want but you do look pregnant. I have a bit of a belly and wear looser tops so I don’t look like I’m pregnant!

I'm a size 8/10 (aka a lanky git) and I still have comments about my 'pregnancy' every so often as my stomach muscles were damaged in pregnancy. My point being, some people are just insensitive dicks.

Well done for getting yourself out and exercising after feeling so ill for so long. That takes so much strength. xx

I don't think you look pregnant. Either way the man was an arsehole. Why would you even be interested in the opinion of some random?

There is nothing wrong with you or your top. You look great!

Does that read wrong? I meant to criticise him commenting, not you listening. Sorry!

Same happened to me I was surprised by how much it hurt actually, I felt shit for quite a while. I don’t think the person who said it to me will ever risk doing it again.

This happened to me just a few days ago! My hairdresser asked if I was expecting. After 2 kids & the stress of lockdown & lack of exercise I have bit of a tummy. I'm working on getting back in shape but it really upset me. If people don't know for sure they shouldn't comment!

I'm an apple shape and have had way too many comments in the past about my pregnant belly- which is fat. Especially painful question after the multiple muscarruages that I had. They should drum it into children at school that you never, ever ask (or assume) that a woman is pregnant unless you see a head popping out between her legs and you're a doctor.

You really, really don't look pregnant OP and to suggest "not long to go" is right up bonkers. Of course it was a man that said it - the only people who commented on my (measuring-small) bump when I was actually pregnant were men, who acted like I was unusually ginormous (size 8 normally, was wearing size 12 trousers at term). I actually think a lot of people have no clue what pregnant women look like. Good for you for exercising, you're doing better than every single person sitting at home on their sofa, and I include myself in that!

I would have laughed if that happened to me

Not long now?? Nothing like a near term baby in my case. Seriously, you have a bit of a tum which is unfortunately lovingly contoured by the top which amounts to little more than a bodystocking. Cosmetically, lose half a stone by dressing with a more flattering top which doesn't accentuate every single ripple and curve. Wear clothes that positively accentuate you.

You have started the couch to 5Km. Everyday will make you healthier and trimmer. And make you feel better with those endorphins. Everyday is holistically a little better for you. Well done and take no notice of some pass remarkable person who has no relationship, care or affection for you. Was he a godlike creature himself?

Gosh, I thought you were going to be 25 stone or something but you're not at all.

You don't look pregnant. Just wear a different top.

That person was rude. Nobody should congratulate anyone on a pregnancy unless you know for sure.

Also, thank you op. You've inspired me to do the first exercise I've done in ages - I want to get really fit and strong, so that the next time someone says this to me, and I suspect they're on the wind up, I can punch them really hard in the face and run away really fast, (JOKING, before anyone jumps up and down or reports me).

You really did inspire me to do some exercise just now though, so thank you .

God I am bloody roaring with some of these comments.

People only wear clinging tops if they are pregnant - don't be so bloody daft. I see people wearing skinny tees, crop tops and lycra vest tops and tube dresses all the time. And - GASP! - only some of them are pregnant.

A longline vest is a maternity top - no it really is not. I have loads of longline vests and wear them all the time. Today I am wearing a black version of what OP has on.

OP, ignore the dickheads. You are totally right, you should not have to be 'brave' to wear a comfortable item of clothing. This made me think of a meme I've seen recently, which I think sums it up nicely.

Op, don't let someone make you feel self-conscious in a public space if you enjoy it. I cycle a lot and feel so good just trundling along that I some times catch myself humming. Between the sun dappling on water, flowers and the trees swaying in a gentle breeze, and the birds, and dog walkers it raises my spirit. It makes me feel such a part of this wonderful vista and it takes ten years off me.

You don't look pregnant to me. I had a man on the school run who kept saying to me not long until the baby is due. I would tell him I wasn't pregnant but he would still continue to ask me how long left etc this went on for about a year! In the end I'd just blank him. I think the man was probably jealous or something you were doing something good for yourself and he wasn't. Ignore him and carry on!

Most women who are overweight wouldn't wear a top like that, so the default assumption is any woman in a top like that who doesn't have a pancake flat stomach is probably pregnant. (Pregnant women obviously caring much less about their stomachs because there's a reason for them sticking out!)

It's a bit rude to comment on a stranger like that, but in a way, it's a testament to your own body confidence.

I do sympathise though. When another woman offers you her seat on the tube, and she's visibly older than you, you know she thinks you're pregnant. And it feels worse, because other women should be better at playing the pregnant/not pregnant guessing game... Been there.

Anyway, forget everything, water off a duck's back and all that. You're exercising, you're getting healthier, and that's something to be very proud of. Well done, you.

Well done on starting ‘Couch to5K’.

For me slowly getting used to regular exercise really helps my mood swings and improved my resilience. It’s allowed me to find some energy and purpose.

Please don’t this let this put you off. You are doing well - firstly you are out and about moving your body and second you have the strength to post photos to us and ask for our help.

Keep your eyes on the prize, this is all about you and no other unhelpful *. Ignore and focus on yourself and your new exercise regime. Keep at it.

Hugs
QF

"Seriously, you have a bit of a tum which is unfortunately lovingly contoured by the top which amounts to little more than a bodystocking. Cosmetically, lose half a stone by dressing with a more flattering top which doesn't accentuate every single ripple and curve. Wear clothes that positively accentuate you."

Do I really need to take all of that into account just to go for a walk?

@SomeWateryTart

Also, thank you op. You've inspired me to do the first exercise I've done in ages - I want to get really fit and strong, so that the next time someone says this to me, and I suspect they're on the wind up, I can punch them really hard in the face and run away really fast, (JOKING, before anyone jumps up and down or reports me).

You really did inspire me to do some exercise just now though, so thank you .

Ah well something good has come out of this so I'll take that ❤️

@rainkeepsfallingdown the thing I have absolutely NO body confidence, the reason I wore the top was, a) it covered my bum, b) my baggier tops were all in the wash and I'm waiting for new ones to arrive and c) I was feeling ok because I had new sport leggings on which sucked my tummy in.

I obviously knew the top wasn't so flattering but unless I wanted to wear long sleeves I had no other choice. If I let my workout outfit define if I exercise that day or not I would have given up before I started.

No, op. You're right. You don't have to dress any way for anyone else. Walking or sitting down. It is just a suggestion if you were for some reason very self-conscious and this prevented you from doing something you wanted to do.

It is very rude of people to comment on someone's real or imagined pregnancy.
In a Maternity unit I was mortified to ask another mother when her baby was due, {she asked me first} only for her to reply she had already had her baby, a couple of days prior.
I felt so embarrassed , but the other mum was extremely forgiving.
After that, I never would ask.

Those stretch jersey type tops show and enhance everything...They are comfortable, but goodness me, you have NOTHING to worry about...Carry on wearing it and doing your exercises. :)

It's definitely the top your wearing hun. Although I do not think you look overweight at all and I certainly wouldn't out someone in public whether they looked pregnant or not.

Be kind to yourself...You left the house after months and months and were doing couch to 5k for god's sake in this weather haha!!! Well done you! You go girl!

You are slim but unfortunately have a tiny bump, which makes you look 3 months pregnant. Just laugh it off next time and say it's a cake baby! Carry on with your excerise and you'll soon look trim.