Someone just congratulated me on my non existent pregnancy

[TerracottaTortoise]

God this is embarrassing. Just out for a walk (working up to couch to 5k following a severe depression that left me housebound for months and months) and a complete stranger got my attention, rubbed their belly and said "not long now" followed by a thumbs up and a rocking baby action.

I could have died on the spot.

I recently posted here about how self conscious I felt about exercising in public and was really trying to embrace the 'not giving a shit' attitude that everyone encouraged me to do.

I already feel disgusting but this has really cemented how gross I must be.

AIBU to be hurt and upset by this or am I really THAT overweight that I look like I could pop out a child imminently?!

It’s only because the top is pulled down past your bum - when someone is saying wear higher rise trousers they mean tuck the top into it to accentuate your waist. The top pulled down accentuates your hips & belly, also the light colour makes a small tummy more visible

To people who are aghast that I have commented on the top - take it easy, the OP has posted on a public forum asking for honest opinions & advice. This is a simple styling suggestion based on the photo provided & not a judgement on her body!

@RonObvious The same thing happened to me--a friend called and asked "if I had anything to tell her." Well, no I hadn't but the big coat I had been wearing that winter had apparently given rise to the impression (of a mutual acquaintance) that I was pregnant!
Binned the coat.
Of course, passersby shouldn't remark on perceived pregnancies...

It’s the top. Carry on with your walking, don’t let anyone put you off.

just reply i'm not pregnant, you don't look obese you just have a tummy hence his misguided comment.

keep going

PS: OP, you have a lovely figure. Well done you for combatting depression and doing exercise!

He was stupid to say it, but maybe it's because the top is tight, so you're not trying to hide it, if you know what i mean.

It was said to me once in my 20s, by a male colleague. I know he acted all embarrassed but he was trying to be mean.

I look similar to you at the moment OP, my tummy is my problem area and it's where I carry all my weight. I tend to wear loose tops to hide it while I'm trying to lose weight. He was rude. Keep going and don't let it get to you!

OP, you bumped into a wanker. You are not pregnant, you are working towards a fitness goal and the rest of the normal world applauds you for it. Keep going, most people think you are amazing for getting out there!

Wow! You mustn't let this get to you. Its a ridiculous comment.

The thing I'd say is that the 'not long now' comment is so far off that the person who said it clearly doesn't have a clue what a pregnant tummy looks like. You don't look pregnant to me and if I suspected you might be then looking at you I certainly would not be thinking third trimester or anywhere near it!

My tummy looks the same in certain clothes. One day I'll do something about it. It turns out that cycling is not enough. I've seen no change in body shape since I resumed cycling a few weeks ago.

@TheNoodlesIncident

I think that that person was actually being facetious and thought that they'd pretend they thought you're pregnant for their amusement, ie they were being a total twat. (A man once asked my 3 year old DS if he was going for "a nice walk in the park with your nan". I was 39 when I had him so not a young mum, but I certainly didn't look like an archetypal grandmother!)

I do think there a number of people who will do this deliberately, as well as those who are socially clumsy and "put their foot in it". You don't look nine months pregnant, you just look as though you're carrying some excess weight on your abdomen and your top is quite clingy, so accentuates it.

Don't let this thoughtless person get to you, they aren't worth the headspace. Focus on your goals and enjoying the fresh air and exercise. Don't let one idiot spoil things for you

Totally negging you.

I think sometimes posture can cause it, I know I have a tendancy to slouch my back so my bum and tummy stick out. I've found pilates helps strengthen the whole middle area, there are some good YouTube videos. If I pull my shoulders back it makes me stand taller and look slimmer. Also I listen to podcasts when I go for my walk, if I'm listening to a conversation then I don't really pay as much attention to people out and about.

www.nhs.uk/live-well/exercise/common-posture-mistakes-and-fixes/

I'm off to check out the tummy diaries.

you're fine! you don't look pregnant. I would never think that from looking at you.
People are dicks.

I have a similar shape. I wear black, light colours tend to emphasise the bump!

Totally the top unfortunately - from the side view you posted - but have no idea why strangers would even risk mentioning pregnancy as you just don't know these days. I'm 10 weeks with twins and have a very noticeable bump and it's funny how people give me the "look" up and down as a silent question - sometimes for a laugh I'll say "are you saying I look fat!?" to make them feel awkward but the rest of the time I do confirm it

Someone congratulated me last year on being pregnant......I'd just had a miscarriage the week before.....held it together long enough to go home and cry x

Oh this happened me in the lift in work a few years ago, massive squealing from the woman and cupping my belly. 3 other people looking on, I just shook my head and said 'nah just a belly' she nearly died.

Yoga and pilates I find great for my belly. I get up an hour earlier and get stuck in. I walk an hour a day (lockdown great for this, soon to be over) I couldn't run a bath and find it too difficult, could you add other types of exercise too?

Yer man was a knobjockey

Because the top is clingy it is reminiscent of the way some skinny people dress when they're pregnant and they want to make it really clear that the extra weight is on their belly and that they're pregnant not carrying extra weight. I knew a few runners who dressed like that for those reasons.

You don't look like you've extra weight anywhere but your stomach, and I think that plus a tighter top may have given someone the impression you were signalling pregnancy if they know other people who have dressed that way while pregnant. That said, I looked like that about 16-18 weeks max so the idea you would have not long to go is mad.

It sucks feeling people are looking at you, but tbh most people really aren't and even the fact this guy got it so wrong suggests that either he was a total twat looking for something mean to say and as likely to pass a negative remark about your hair colour or running style, or he took a really cursory glance, saw 'thin woman with somewhat visible belly, fitted top= pregnant' and thought it was ok to comment. You're doing great, nobody who looked at you and was paying attention would assume you were pregnant, don't let it make you give up.

I have the same body shape but as I am 50 I hope people would not think that I was pregnant!

I just wear looser more flattering tops to disguise it

Does it really matter? It isn't a crime to be carrying a bit of extra weight.

Someone did similar to me when I was drunk at a festival holding a beer in each hand 🤦‍♀️
It’s rude and it’s not required, I don’t know why people think it’s acceptable to comment on someone’s appearance in this way, regardless of if they are well meaning, I can guarantee that many people they say it to will not be pregnant and even if they are, a stranger does not know the circumstances of anyone’s pregnancy.

Easy for me to say, sat behind my screen, but I do think people need to be told not to make comments. I learnt this when I was younger and commented on a teachers pregnancy in front of a class, she told me she wasn’t pregnant and I felt awful about it (she was actually pregnant as it turns out, just not past the 3 months mark)

If he had a belly too I would have looked down at it and said "Yours is nearly due too!"

Someone asked me when my baby was due when I was a size 10 and just wearing a flouncy sort of summer dress!

I was briefly mortified (though not as mortified as the woman when I told her I wasn't pregnant), but it's honestly not worth dwelling on. You've obviously been doing really well with getting yourself back into exercise and that's the main thing. Don't let anyone put you off your stride.

The man did it to shame you. He knew perfectly well that you weren't pregnant. He is a cunt of the highest order.

My belly looks like that after a meal and I’m not overweight either (size 8). It is just the top, and maybe there was an unflattering shadow or angle.

The person might have said it on purpose, knowing you were probably not pregnant - some people (thankfully not too many people) like to take others down a peg or two. Or maybe he’s not too familiar with female bodies!

It’s the persons problem not yours!!! How rude

You look great OP, well done on getting motivated!

I'd bet money he didn't even think you were pregnant. He was probably just a misogynistic arse who gets a kick out of upsetting women. I think you look fab.

Definitely just the top! You look slim and have a great figure. I reckon 80% of women would look the same in a similar top -basically anyone without washboard flat abs. I’m currently actually pregnant, but would have looked a whole lot more so before I was i your top.