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Original poster

Someone just congratulated me on my non existent pregnancy

170 replies

TerracottaTortoise · 31/07/2020 09:52

God this is embarrassing. Just out for a walk (working up to couch to 5k following a severe depression that left me housebound for months and months) and a complete stranger got my attention, rubbed their belly and said "not long now" followed by a thumbs up and a rocking baby action.

I could have died on the spot.

I recently posted here about how self conscious I felt about exercising in public and was really trying to embrace the 'not giving a shit' attitude that everyone encouraged me to do.

I already feel disgusting but this has really cemented how gross I must be.

AIBU to be hurt and upset by this or am I really THAT overweight that I look like I could pop out a child imminently?!

OP posts:
wishing3 · 31/07/2020 10:41

Not to say that you do look pregnant-that man sounds rude and bizarre.

Flowers009 · 31/07/2020 10:41

It's not the top, you don't look pregnant and the guy is a weirdo

LakieLady · 31/07/2020 10:41

What a rude man!

Mind you, I once did similar to a colleague I hadn't seen for a while. I was mortified when she said she wasn't.

Ff 2 or 3 weeks, and I was walking along a corridor at head office when I heard someone call out "Oi, Mystic Meg". I looked round, and it was the same colleague, turned out she was approx 14 weeks pregnant. She'd gone to the doctor about something else, and whatever the symptoms were, they were down to pregnancy, not illness.

She hadn't realised because her periods had been all over the place for years.

WorraLiberty · 31/07/2020 10:42

I already feel disgusting but this has really cemented how gross I must be.

Pregnant women do not look gross though.

You do look like you could be pregnant. I'm a size 8/10 and a few years ago, 2 people asked me if I was pregnant on two separate occasions. I was a bit taken aback but when I looked in the mirror, I could totally see why they thought it. It was because of the top I was wearing.

The person was an idiot to assume and rude to mention it, but don't let it get to you. Carry on exercising.

Being mistaken for a pregnant woman isn't the worst thing in the world, so try to put it out of your mind and don't dwell on it.

Easier said than done, I know.

moklty · 31/07/2020 10:43

It's not your top, it's your shape. Oh, and his problem. You don't look pregnant at all you just look like a normal woman to me.

ILikeYouToo · 31/07/2020 10:43

I get this ALL the time. I have separated stomach muscles after having my children and I look like I have a permanent baby bump. I try to hide it but it's impossible and I constantly get comments from people I know/don't know/vaguely know. It's rubbish. And then you end up trying to make the other person feel better who is mortified they said it, telling them it doesn't matter, while inside I feel like crying!
No words of wisdom, but you're not alone! People should NEVER comment on pregnancy unless they've specifically been told it's the case!

welshladywhois40 · 31/07/2020 10:44

I am 16 weeks pregnant and you are a lot slimmer than me.

Ignore and repeat - he is an idiot.

People do come out with some crap.

I remember a women at work maki nag a comment about my pregnancy in front of all my colleagues when I was just overweight. Hated her anyway but even more so after that!

TheNewLook · 31/07/2020 10:44

It’s the top! Hugs every curve I’m afraid! Just wear something a bit looser and you’ll look very different.

Tink2007 · 31/07/2020 10:47

Oh god you don’t look pregnant at all! And clearly an idiot if he thinks that tiny bit of a belly you have is a term pregnancy. Moron.

If it makes you feel better when I was actually 9 months pregnant with DD2 a man at the school said to me “You’ve put on some weight, haven’t you?” 🙄🙄 It didn’t actually occur to him I was pregnant.

UpToonGirl · 31/07/2020 10:47

Please don't let this derail you. Some people are twats, you do not ever ask anyone if they are pregnant. I got asked once when I was a very slim size 10 with no belly, once after a miscarriage when I was bloated and last week out with my three children. The person who asked last week didn't believe me at first when I said no!

TildaKauskumholm · 31/07/2020 10:52

I had this once when wearing a very loose top - we can't win, and this is a thing NOBODY should ever say to an acquaintance or stranger unless they know for a fact that it's true.

IlanaWexler · 31/07/2020 10:52

I think you're very brave wearing a top that tight. I only wear stuff like that when I am actually pregnant and want to show off my bump.

Zaphodsotherhead · 31/07/2020 10:54

Again, I don't think for one minute that that man thought you were pregnant. All that 'not long to go now!' nonsense is just stupid - for all he knew (if you were pregnant) you may only be three months with triplets.

He WANTED you to agonise. He WANTED you to think 'OMG, I'm so fat!' He wanted to shame you into becoming the waif like epitome of womanhood that he thinks all women should be.

Shrug him off. Wear tight clothes, bright colours. Do not let this horrible little bully get you down. You are MAGNIFICENT!

TheStuffedPenguin · 31/07/2020 10:54

You don't look pregnant . How strange and rude of a man to comment on that .

smogsville · 31/07/2020 10:55

KEEP GOING OP! We're all rooting for you.

curiouscatgotkilled · 31/07/2020 10:58

I got offered a seat on the train because a man thought I was pregnant. I was embarrased but it was the top I was wearing (and the tummy chub)
Also I was quite pleased that he thought I was still young enough to be be pregnant : )
People should NEVER comment!

Emeraldshamrock · 31/07/2020 11:00

My money is he was acting the sick. Ignore him don't let it demotivate you.
The top is too tight I always wear a loose running top over my vest on a fitness walk.

Emeraldshamrock · 31/07/2020 11:00

*dick

WorraLiberty · 31/07/2020 11:01

Also I was quite pleased that he thought I was still young enough to be be pregnant

Yes, now I'm 51 I think I'd be flattered if it happened again! Grin

HotPenguin · 31/07/2020 11:06

You look a healthy weight and you don't look pregnant. I agree the man was an arse.

However your back looks quite arched. I wonder if it would benefit you to improve your core strength and this might help improve your posture, as it looks like your pelvis is tilted forward and sticking your stomach out? Pilates is a good way.

Topseyt · 31/07/2020 11:08

You don't look pregnant at all. He was being an arse. Try not to give it any more headspace.

I would love to look as good as you. You hold your head high and keep going.

Dinosaurus86 · 31/07/2020 11:10

It's not you or the top. It was the idiot man deliberately being an idiot. He knew perfectly well you weren't pregnant (certainly not late stages!) and did it to upset you. That doesn't make it any less hurtful but I would try to forget it and move on.

mellie1806 · 31/07/2020 11:13

I had a woman in a shop ask me once, I just told her I was fat. She was mortified. I also had a man who comes into the wholesaler where I work point at my tummy area and ask when the little person was due...…. We cant actually get pregnant, so it stings a bit, BUT I think it says more about them than you. x

OldLace · 31/07/2020 11:14

You don't look pregnant (which isn't 'gross' anyway, just pg!)

He was a rude arse

Keep going out running - huge achievement if you've been depressed

wear whatever is comfortable to exercise in, whatever it looks like

You are out improving your health (mental and physical) so sod looks!

Bluegeode · 31/07/2020 11:14

You have the same shape as me, and as a lot of women. The stranger was weird, try to forget it

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