Someone just congratulated me on my non existent pregnancy

[TerracottaTortoise]

God this is embarrassing. Just out for a walk (working up to couch to 5k following a severe depression that left me housebound for months and months) and a complete stranger got my attention, rubbed their belly and said "not long now" followed by a thumbs up and a rocking baby action.

I could have died on the spot.

I recently posted here about how self conscious I felt about exercising in public and was really trying to embrace the 'not giving a shit' attitude that everyone encouraged me to do.

I already feel disgusting but this has really cemented how gross I must be.

AIBU to be hurt and upset by this or am I really THAT overweight that I look like I could pop out a child imminently?!

Unfortunately that is an unflattering top. But also, your mid section is where you gain weight. If I put weight it’s my midsection and face so it’s obvious. Actually my face first so i can’t gain 5lbs with out it being so obvious. Just keep up w your efforts of walking. Try to eat healthy and use this as a motivation to lose weight.

Was it an older man? I ask because although everyone here seems to be calling him a dick etc it is possible he was just trying (and failing, clearly) to have a little social exchange. Sometimes I walk in the park very early just to get a quiet walk in before the day starts and without fail the early dog walkers (usually older folk) will speak, even from the other side of the duck pond, ranging from a simple 'morning' to some weather/ducks/birds comment.

So it might just have been a clumsy attempt at saying hello and not meant in a mean way. Dont take it to heart and keep up that walking!

There is no way you look 8-9 months pregnant and therefore I would guess that the man was just being an unpleasant twat and deliberately trying to upset you.

@HotPenguin

You look a healthy weight and you don't look pregnant. I agree the man was an arse.

However your back looks quite arched. I wonder if it would benefit you to improve your core strength and this might help improve your posture, as it looks like your pelvis is tilted forward and sticking your stomach out? Pilates is a good way.

Tbh I noticed this. Your posture could do with some working on. It'll benefit you in other ways as well.

That bloke was an arse and tops that colour will never be flattering imo. Who cares if it's comfortable?!

You have every right to feel upset that's bloody man saw fit to comment on your body. Some men seem to see it as a right.

I hold my weight round the middle but I'm a lot older than you so I've learnt to not give a shit.

I wear a baseball cap when I'm out to avoid having to make eye contact with people. Keep going Op, you're doing the best thing for your health.

Don't - I am seeing work colleagues for the first time since lockdown. They are going to be shocked at how much weight I have gained.

What the fuck is wrong with everyone?

You do not look pregnant!

Also, why does anyone think it's acceptable to touch a stranger? Being pregnant does not mean that you become public property.

I’m sorry but to me you do look like you could be pregnant. I do think it’s the clothing that highlights it though, but your a women and I know a lot of women including myself who would look pregnant if we wore a tight long top.

I used to get that comment all the time as I’ve always been slim but held weight in my stomach. I try not to accentuate it now.

You do NOT look pregnant. He was a dick. Men know that a lot of women are self-conscious about their weight so it is an easy weapon. A man once told me that I had 'a fat gut'; I was so surprised that I laughed in his face. I was so slim at the time that friends joked that I disappeared when I turned sideways.
I am now much older and overweight and, unlike you, I DO look pregnant! I've over-indulged during lockdown so you've reminded me that it's time to lose weight.

Keep going - you're doing the right thing for your health and that is what matters.

He was rude to make a comment like that.
I think the top doesn't help but so what?
You're doing something about your weight so don't let comments by strangers put you off.

You've got a "bit of a belly" in that top/the pics (and I say that as someone whose belly is twice yours) but the rest of you looks pretty slim and your legs look great. I hate vest tops nowadays as they are so long and just accentuate your belly - I am always looking for ones that sit just at the bump (if that makes sense) but can never find them. So I buy men's ones and find they are looser and don't cling to my belly so it doesn't look so prominent.

In my opinion, I think the guy was trying to be an arse and neg you - how dare he touch you without your consent. He was trying to "fat shame" you so take some comfort in the fact that he is a total wanker - you will get to your 5k in the end but he will always be a wanker and one day will cross the wrong person - I do believe in Karma in the sense that if people live their lives in a wanky way, they will eventually say or do something to a nut job and it will come back and bite them. This is how I deal with things when people deliberately upset me.

You look exactly like me except my boobs are much bigger. I have put on a lot of weight over lockdown.
I have so much respect for you, and you have actually inspired me to start getting back into shape.

Omg OP if I had your figure I would be SO happy, you look awesome and definitely not pregnant

I had similar after (as in years after) being pregnant and some children at school asked if I was pregnant when I wasn't. I was really embarrassed but wish now I had taken the opportunity to 'educate'them about different body shapes. Particularly as in my case as I could have made them aware that women's figures don't necessarily spring back after pregnancy unlike celebs on Instagram

You're like me in that you carry all your excess weight on your belly. I wear looser tops for that reason.

We don't need to hide our shape OP, we are what we are.

People who make comments about strangers bodies can get fucked.

I get this all the time. I have had neighbours ask when I'm due, people give up their seats for me on the tube. It drives me mad! When people mention is now I just say THANKS BUT I'M JUST FAT really loudly and they get embarrassed and slink off.

Do not let those people put you off - they were randoms you'll never meet again - doesn't matter what you top looks like long as you are comfortable and you're working on your fitness, this is always a good thing!

Just to clarify, the OP says that the stranger touched his own stomach, not hers.

A very weird situation, OP. Forget about it, is my advice.

(On a different note, I never understood why anyone thought it acceptable to touch a pregnant bump. I saw a guy I worked with doing it to a colleague, once. No, just no!)

I can’t believe he said that! I thought most people were more aware these days. I’d never say anything like that anyway but it would have to be bloody obvious and it’s not on you. Well done on getting out there. Please ignore the comment.

I am in a very similar boat op! Bloody lockdown weight gain!

Easier said than done, but the key is try not to let anyone else get to you, including the rare weirdos on MN who absolutely LOVE coming on here to tell women they're TOO FAT . And you get it on here about people who are size 8/10s. It is not normal and those posters are in the minority, but I know it's hard to read those sorts of comments. You have to remember, this is a temporary state. You can and will, if you want to, get back to fitness. It doesn't make you a lesser person and it doesn't make people who are currently slim, better people.

You don't look pregnant. If you were 65 or a man, nobody would think that about you at all. It will be to do with you age and gender as well. I only realised this recently when a similar thing happened to me btw ! I was super bloated (medical reason) and wearing a very loose garment and have gigantic boobs, so it sort of hung off me. If I was or you were older or male, they wouldn't have thought this. They have seen your not massive or terrible tummy and seen you are the right age (in their heads), put 2 and 2 together and got 5. Also, I think some people do it on purpose out of spite, but those people are truly unwell.

Some people love to attack people for being a bit overweight or the 'wrong' (in their minds) shape. It says a lot more about them than it does about their target.

Well done for getting out there and exercising. Please don’t let one silly person put you off. You definitely don’t look pregnant. I’d love your figure. Keep up the exercise all those endorphins will make you feel great.

People just shouldn't comment. Some people do it on purpose to be arseholes and some people are just thoughtless. It's just usually clothes that don't flatter. I have a black hoodie which I love and which I think makes me look thinner but the pocket at the front is quite big so I have been asked more than once when I am wearing it when the baby is due. I'm over 50 so I just PMSL.
Happened when I was with my 30 year old male friend. He played along with it to embarrass me, and we were trapped in this social situation with v clucky old ladies. Then he realised they thought he was the father. It suddenly became much more amusing.

Eugh. He was being a bell end. I’ve always thought that the general rule was that unless you can physically see a baby emerging from a woman then it’s probably best not to ask if she’s pregnant. Just in case. I’ve looked about 6 months pregnant for the last 4 years 🙈 probably didn’t need to make that cake yesterday either. Anyway keep enjoying your walks- you are doing great! And you look amazing too!

It's happened to me twice, both times when I'd just eaten a big meal, both comments made by men. Even if I was pregnant I don't know why they'd even mention it. Horrible thing to do to comment on any strangers body.

That’s a maternity top