Someone just congratulated me on my non existent pregnancy

[TerracottaTortoise]

God this is embarrassing. Just out for a walk (working up to couch to 5k following a severe depression that left me housebound for months and months) and a complete stranger got my attention, rubbed their belly and said "not long now" followed by a thumbs up and a rocking baby action.

I could have died on the spot.

I recently posted here about how self conscious I felt about exercising in public and was really trying to embrace the 'not giving a shit' attitude that everyone encouraged me to do.

I already feel disgusting but this has really cemented how gross I must be.

AIBU to be hurt and upset by this or am I really THAT overweight that I look like I could pop out a child imminently?!

Sorry, I didn't disappear. I just decided to do a 30 minute speed walking video on YouTube.
It has cleared my brain a bit and I know the guy was a twat.
I've always hated the fact that I take to heart strangers opinions of me, I just can't seem to stop it affecting me though.
Thank you for all the kind words, I definitely won't give up but I may be doing it inside for a while!

Thank you for all the kind words, I definitely won't give up but I may be doing it inside for a while!

Don't feel you have to stay inside. Going outside to exercise is very good for you and all of this should be about your health and not what you look like. Obviously a side-effect is that your figure will look better but that shouldn't be the number 1 reason. Who cares if some fuckwit made a rude comment? He was being a dick.

@IlanaWexler

I think you're very brave wearing a top that tight. I only wear stuff like that when I am actually pregnant and want to show off my bump.

How sad that I even need to be brave just to wear something I can feel comfortable working out in.

Just to clarify I don't think being pregnant looks gross.
But the fact I'm not pregnant and it's all fat is what makes me feel gross.
Sorry if I made it sound otherwise.

I once had this from a new yoga teacher!! I’d started back on exercise after having my 3rd child. I was mortified. I have a naturally sticking-out belly and I have clothes I choose not to wear because I know I look pregnant (after 4th child, fibroid and lack of tone).

You do have a lovely figure and I hope the daft bloke’s insensitivity hasn’t put you down for long.

So rude! Hes the one who should have wanted to ground to open up. Also keep wearing what is comfortable to exercise in - you don't want to be layering up in this heat!
And you're not gross.
What sort of state were his abs in by the way, did you notice?

Ha when I was pregnant people just thought I was fat - a co worker even said 'putting a bit of weight on there'! I said that's what happens when you are over six months pregnant.
Anyway I would never comment unless I knew for sure if someone was expecting. Too much of a minefield! But frankly if you carry your weight in your tummy area and wear a tight top some people will just make an assumption.

Sounds like it might have been intended as a rude comment (from an idiot), but it reminds me why I NEVER ask anyone whether they’re pregnant, even if they’re clearly about to drop! You look great - enjoy the exercise and good luck on couch to 5k.

You are in NO WAY too large to exercise!! And no one with a brain would think you were pregnant. You rock girl, get back out there and build your future.

i had this once an elderly woman- i said oh im just fat actually she was the embarrassed one

Dont let it put you off strangers can be weird. I have been mistaken for being both pregnant and a man. I dont think i look like either but there you go . You look fine op. Total normal stomach.

The top does make you look pregnant, though not full term. I doubt the person meant to be rude but they shouldn’t have said anything.

He sounds like some sort of strange pervert who just wanted to touch you. The fact he touched you is worrying. If you’re quite shy, practice at home shouting “back away, now” and pretend you’re a gruff American General.

The man did it to shame you. He knew perfectly well that you weren't pregnant. He is a cunt of the highest order.

This. Please don't let him put you off exercising OP. He's an idiot and will always be an idiot but you don't have to let him take up residence in your head.

That bloke was an arse and tops that colour will never be flattering imo. Who cares if it's comfortable?!

Do you mean who cares, so long as it's comfortable? Because that makes sense. The OP is exercising so comfort should be the main criteria for clothing.

I’m not excusing what the man idiot said, but I do think it’s your top. I mean this kindly, but generally speaking the fashion atm is that people who are pregnant wear ‘form-fitting’ clothes to ‘highlight’ their bump whereas people who have a ‘belly’ would wear something that skims over it to try and disguise it. I’m not saying that is what you should do, I’m just saying that, generally speaking, that’s what people do do, so the man idiot presumably thought you were pregnant by the fact that you were ‘highlighting my your belly as it were (as opposed to the fact that you actually have a massive belly compared to the general population). I also think people (myself included) are really bad for looking at themselves in the mirror or taking pictures as you have done and, maybe not sucking in as such, but perhaps having much better posture shall we say than they would when they weren’t paying attention / looking at themselves. I find if I really relax and stand how I would actually stand if I wasn’t looking at my reflection, my belly actually sticks out way more than I think it does. Outfits that we tell ourselves look okay in the mirror quite often don’t look great in real life! 🙈
Congratulations though on getting out there and getting fit, and at the end of the day, who cares what some random guy thinks of your body. Did you want to sleep with him? What did his body look like?

For those saying she doesn't look pregnant at all - I think it really depends on the person. If I emerged from lock down with a belly that shape people would absolutely think I could be pregnant as I have a very flat stomach and do a lot of sport.

No one would say anything though....I mean who the hell does that?!

My full term bump was not a great deal bigger than that, but it was very hard ie just bump.

i agree with PP, its the fashion that very form fitting, belly hugging clothes are generally worn to emphasise a proud bump owner, else people wear less clingy clothes generally.

But you hardly look in a 9 motnhs pregnant state ! rude to comment at all.

@Flyingnutsack

That’s a maternity top

It's really not.

@Flyingnutsack

That’s a maternity top

So what if it is?

The Op could be wearing a clown suit and the ONLY thing that should matter is that you feel comfortable when exercising!

@sergeilavrov

He sounds like some sort of strange pervert who just wanted to touch you. The fact he touched you is worrying. If you’re quite shy, practice at home shouting “back away, now” and pretend you’re a gruff American General.

He didn't touch me he was the other side of the (narrow) road. He rubbed his own belly.

It's not a flattering top, but he was a dick.

I got this a lot before actually getting pregnant. If it was some dickhead male that said that to me (and for effect, like yours did) I used to nod in the direction as his own belly and say 'yep, I'm due about the sage time as you'. Twats.

I've told women they ought to know better than to just assume.

They're being rude to you, be rude back!!

@burnoutbabe

i agree with PP, its the fashion that very form fitting, belly hugging clothes are generally worn to emphasise a proud bump owner, else people wear less clingy clothes generally.

But you hardly look in a 9 motnhs pregnant state ! rude to comment at all.

I guess I missed a few fashion based memos.

@TerracottaTortoise Eek sorry for misunderstanding. I don’t think the top is the issue, he still sounds strange. I’m a size 4 and have a sweater that goes in tight at my tummy and follows the curve. My MiL thought I was pregnant when she saw it. MiL is not to be listened to, and nor is this silly man.

Women’s bodies are women’s bodies, not a talking point for others. I think you dressed completely appropriately and I’m sad it has made you want to stay inside. You are much more motivated than me, and I hope you are proud of yourself.

My stomach looks just like yours OP! I bought a similar top thinking it would cover my bottom when wearing leggings and be flattering- it wasn't- I looked just like you, which to me was horrendous- the top went back! I bought a looser fitting cocoon style one instead and feel much better! (and think I look better)