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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

WWYD Sisters wedding

140 replies

Monkeymilkshake · 30/07/2020 12:45

Hello,
Asking for some advice as i am torn between 2 options.
My sister is getting married in France in a couple of weeks. We dont know if we should go or not. I really really want to be there for my sister and see her get married but...
We would need to cross the country as the wedding is taking place in south of France (think 9hr + by car, no airport nearby).
We would be travelling with 2 DC (under 4yo).
Restrictions means we would have to wear masks for ceremony but not for reception. There will be around 200 guests at the wedding. Being in a close room with so many people panicks me.
I should also say, we are all fit and healthy (no one shielding etc).

What would you do?
Yabu: it's your sisters wedding. Go go go
Yanbu: there is a pandemic dontcha know. Stay at home.

OP posts:
Daisyhut · 30/07/2020 12:47

Could you go alone to minimise exposure?

user1493413286 · 30/07/2020 12:50

That journey sounds pretty hellish without a pandemic. I don’t think I’d take the risk especially without the possibility of quarantines being out on different countries with short notice.

Yetiyoga · 30/07/2020 12:55

That is such a tough one. I've voted YABU based on that I would personally go (i don't think you'd be unreasonable not to go at all!)
I don't think I could miss my sister's wedding personally. But please only do what you feel comfortable doing! I'm surprised she is still going ahead with it. Are all those 200 people comfortable to be going?

Didntwanttochangemyname · 30/07/2020 13:05

Does your sister live there?

meow1989 · 30/07/2020 13:07

I probably wouldn't go, which is easy to say not being in the situation. I at least wouldnt be taking DC.

It's the reception that worries me - could you go alone and only stay for the ceremony if you really want to go?

What happens if you are unable to travel back?

TheLastDynasty · 30/07/2020 13:13

Personally I would go because I just couldn’t bear to miss my sister’s wedding. But I don’t think you would be unreasonable not to go - it’s a big commitment and I understand your anxiety about it.

DDiva · 30/07/2020 13:30

Could you go alone just for the ceremony ?
I wouldnt want to miss it but i also couldnt imagine being on a room with 200 people at the moment !

1forAll74 · 30/07/2020 13:32

I would not go personally, with all the rules chopping and changing all the time now. But can understand other people who say, just go for it.

My Sister died a few days ago, and I know when her funeral (cremation) will be next week, but she lived further up North 150 miles away, and have been told that only a few people can attend. I may not go now, but feel very sad about everything.

MintyMabel · 30/07/2020 13:37

Nope. Wouldn't go.

I'd actually be annoyed that my sister decided to do something which would likely restrict me being able to attend because of a global pandemic.

Durgasarrow · 30/07/2020 13:38

There's a fucking pandemic. What is wrong with your sister.

piscean10 · 30/07/2020 13:39

No dont go. Are you even sure most people will be attending. I'm certain a good chunk of them will be in some vulnerable category. I wouldnt ever put my kids and dh at risk for any reason. And this is a risk.

countrygirl99 · 30/07/2020 13:41

Could someone live stream it for you. It's what we did for my son's wedding a couple of weeks ago. The brides parents are stuck in Abu Dhabi but it was important for them to get married so couldn't delay.

Alsohuman · 30/07/2020 13:41

@Durgasarrow

There's a fucking pandemic. What is wrong with your sister.
Maybe she lives there.
pepperycinnamon · 30/07/2020 13:42

@MintyMabel

Nope. Wouldn't go.

I'd actually be annoyed that my sister decided to do something which would likely restrict me being able to attend because of a global pandemic.

^This. There is no way I would go, sister's wedding or not.
Hobnobsandbroomstick · 30/07/2020 13:43

I'd go if it was going to be a fairly small intimate wedding. 200 guests?! No thanks!

piscean10 · 30/07/2020 13:43

Alsohuman And so what if she lives there. Pretty selfish to still go on with a 200 guest wedding.

KeepingPlain · 30/07/2020 13:45

It doesn't sound feasible in your situation. It may not even go ahead if numbers keep rising, I'm surprised she's still allowed so many.

Figgygal · 30/07/2020 13:45

Not a bloody chance would I go
And she’s mad to be going ahead with it still

pasturesgreen · 30/07/2020 13:47

I wouldn't go as a family, too much hassle and things can potentially change at the last minute (see Spain). Can you go on your own?

The idea of mingling with 200 people wouldn't fill me with enthusiasm just now, but possibly not all 200 are going? Otherwise I'd skip the reception and just go for the ceremony.

Hobnobsandbroomstick · 30/07/2020 13:49

"Couple who insisted on 100 wedding guests diagnosed with Covid-19":

www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/covid-19-wedding-guests-san-francisco-california-coronavirus-a9640996.html?amp

Nooo chance would I be going to this wedding. I get that it's been rubbish recently and we have to get back to normal life as much as we can, but having a 200 guest wedding right now seems really selfish.

RandomTree · 30/07/2020 13:52

I think I agree with going alone.

luckylavender · 30/07/2020 13:52

I wouldn't go. Situation in France is not stable.

RuggerHug · 30/07/2020 13:53

I highly doubt they'll have 200 guests, just that they're invited. If I thought it would cause irreparable damage to not go I would go alone but skip the reception and isolate once back but this may not be practical for you. Does she really think everyone will go??

Alsohuman · 30/07/2020 13:53

@piscean10

Alsohuman And so what if she lives there. Pretty selfish to still go on with a 200 guest wedding.
Maybe most of the guests live there too. This thread’s a 180 degree turn on the usual MN wedding threads, usually it’s “Your wedding, do whatever your little heart desires”.
Chloemol · 30/07/2020 13:54

I wouldn’t go, and tbh looking at what’s happening now you may find borders suddenly closing

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