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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

WWYD Sisters wedding

140 replies

Monkeymilkshake · 30/07/2020 12:45

Hello,
Asking for some advice as i am torn between 2 options.
My sister is getting married in France in a couple of weeks. We dont know if we should go or not. I really really want to be there for my sister and see her get married but...
We would need to cross the country as the wedding is taking place in south of France (think 9hr + by car, no airport nearby).
We would be travelling with 2 DC (under 4yo).
Restrictions means we would have to wear masks for ceremony but not for reception. There will be around 200 guests at the wedding. Being in a close room with so many people panicks me.
I should also say, we are all fit and healthy (no one shielding etc).

What would you do?
Yabu: it's your sisters wedding. Go go go
Yanbu: there is a pandemic dontcha know. Stay at home.

OP posts:
ALLIS0N · 30/07/2020 16:27

France has an excellent rail service.

DelurkingAJ · 30/07/2020 16:41

We’ve just driven across France and the service stations are open (everyone other than toddlers are wearing masks). Frankly, it feels much much safer than my local supermarket here.

Zhampagne · 30/07/2020 16:45

I would go, but on the basis of being prepared for the possibility that you may have to quarantine on your return if the rules for France change. If this is impossible due to work then it's too big a risk.

Etinox · 30/07/2020 16:47

@Daisyhut

Could you go alone to minimise exposure?
Very sensible idea
SomeWateryTart · 30/07/2020 17:03

OP has said she is breastfeeding. Going alone isn't an option!

Stoic123 · 30/07/2020 17:17

I would go but I can work from home, isolate afterwards if necessary and avoid contact with vulnerable people/anyone who might be in contact. I would probably book an online delivery in advance/do some risk mitigation.

I would not miss a sibling's wedding if above possible.

CuppaZa · 30/07/2020 17:22

@Monkeymilkshake no chance!

Cryalot2 · 30/07/2020 17:24

Its not easy. If it were not for covid would you go?
How will your sister feel if you don't go?
I have a feeling we will be living with covid for the forseable future and having to adapt and make the best of things.
Have a good think on it before you decide.
Whatever you do enjoy your decision.

Mix56 · 30/07/2020 17:40

Won't the reception be outdoors in the S of France?
I am trying to think of a place in France that has no airport within 4 hours.

InvincibleInvisibility · 30/07/2020 17:47

If it were me I would fly and then train it with just the BF baby.

In fact, my friend the same thing recently from UK to France - just her and 1 DC. The other stayed at home.

Koennt · 30/07/2020 17:47

OP, I wouldn't go - but that has absolutely sod all to do with Covid.I wouldn't go, because there is no sister in the world (and I love mine dearly) who could have persuaded me to cart my DC that distance when they were 1 and 3. It would have been a complete non-starter from every possible point of view.

As I say, though, I would consider the Covid aspect to be irrelevant.

wildcherries · 30/07/2020 17:51

200 people? Nope.

It sucks, OP. But I wouldn't.

SantaClaritaDiet · 30/07/2020 17:54

Pre covid, I would have made a holiday of it and go for a couple of weeks.

Nowadays I would probably stop over in a campsite. I'd be too tired to drive through the night and it's too long (and far too hot) to be leaving 2 under 4 in a car driving all day unless you desperately need to. Whilst 2 x 2 hours for 2 days is fine (looks silly written down, but that's how you split it Grin )

ChavvySexPond · 30/07/2020 17:57

I would not go.

Magenta83 · 30/07/2020 17:58

I would probably go. You can stop in service stations in France but keep social distancing and consider where you eat. Going in the car is pretty safe and there aren't many cases in the south. However I can't imagine a 200 people reception and you would need to be prepared for quarantine on your return.

Runmybathforme · 30/07/2020 18:01

Nope, this is madness. Figures are rising because of things like this. We all want our lives back, this isn’t the way to achieve it.

Freddiefox · 30/07/2020 18:02

Can you and your dh afford to take off 14
Days if they change the rule to include France in the quarantine?

BertieBassettsBits · 30/07/2020 18:02

I wouldn't go, it's not worth the risk
I think it's unfair of your parents to put the pressure on. They are your children so do the best for them

Fluffycloudland77 · 30/07/2020 18:07

No it sounds too risky.

Original poster
Monkeymilkshake · 30/07/2020 18:07

Thanks everybody.
Pre covid our plan was to make a holiday out of the wedding and have a great time!
I have been upfront with my sister and told her if there were any quarantines we wouldnt go. Also told her to prepare for some noshows... thats a risk when you plan your wedding during a pandemic. But like people have said, covid may be there for a while and we'd have to learn to live with it.

Re the distance from airport, the place they are getting married is quite remote. It's not south of france as in Nice. Dont wont to give too many details!

Also the first bit of the reception will be outside but the dinner (with 200 people) will be at 9pm indoors which is the bit that is stressing me out the most. So i might do what a few pp have sugested and skip dinner.
Thanks again for taking the time to respond. It does make me feel better that the majority think i'm not a complete scardy cat for being a bit scared/stressed about it.

Thanks all. X

OP posts:
Spodge · 30/07/2020 18:10

I might go alone but I voted YANBU because I would under no circumstances take two young children given the uncertainty and possibility of local lockdowns etc.

Original poster
Monkeymilkshake · 30/07/2020 18:10

Sorry forgot to say - we could quarantine for 14 days but only in uk. If we have to quarantine in france too then we couldnt go.
We're use to working from home around kids. It's not ideal but possible

OP posts:
Gogogadgetarms · 30/07/2020 18:17

Given all your updates I’d fly with the whole family. All attend the ceremony and just you attend the reception. The kids will be tired by 9pm anyway.
I only say this because you are all low risk and she’s your sister.

That said, I wouldn’t judge you for not going.

Inkpaperstars · 30/07/2020 18:31

Thinking back to when my brother's kids were that small, no way I would have assumed they would want to make a journey like that regardless of any pandemic. So there should not be any pressure, that is unfair.

I am not sure what I would do but I think having 200 people indoors is very irresponsible tbh, I'd not go to that bit. Definitely try to fly nearer if you do go. Definitely be prepared to quarantine on return, who knows how quickly things like that might change. It's even possible that by then France might not let you in.

Shizzlestix · 30/07/2020 18:32

2 under 4? Lord no, stay home!