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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To shop as a family?

153 replies

lockeddown92 · 30/07/2020 12:23

We haven't shopped together since lockdown but it's getting to be a right pain. Would we be unreasonable to shop together this evening?
DS is 8 months so can't run off and get too close to people. DH is the chef in the house and often has a better sense of what to get it something is out of stock. I'm the driver so I've been doing all the shopping myself for months. We have a dinner planned for Saturday and I have family members with dietary requirements.
I know I could drive to the shops with DS and DH, then me and DS sit in the car while DH shops, calling me if he needs to query anything. DS will probably get fed up of being in the car and complain loudly.
Our local Lidl is always really quiet after 7pm so would we be horribly unreasonable to go together? I kind of think we would but it would be so much easier.

OP posts:
PumpkinPie2016 · 30/07/2020 12:27

Some shops are still saying one adult per family so that may be an issue.

Can't you just go and ring dh if something is out of stock? Or discuss alternatives before you go?

Mywifeandkids1 · 30/07/2020 12:27

Not at all, do it

Grgyuhgdetujjbdww · 30/07/2020 12:34

I’ve seen quite a few families at the shops. Nobody will bat an eye.

VainAbigail · 30/07/2020 12:37

Just go. No ones gonna bat an eyelid.

melj1213 · 30/07/2020 12:39

Since your DS is a baby and therefore can be either carried or in the trolley (ie not running around touching things) then YANBU. Even if children are older, as long as parents keep them under control then we have no issue with families shopping

I work in a supermarket and people shopping in couples has become the norm again, it's just the parents that let their children run wild and leave them unattended that are an issue.

Jubaju · 30/07/2020 12:41

You can do it, it’s fine just don’t forget your masks 😷

Ellisandra · 30/07/2020 12:41

I agree that no-one will bat an eyelid.
But I think you’re looking for excuses to do it.
Your baby is 8 months old - if you need to entertain him, bring some toys or walk around the car park. He really doesn’t need to be in the shop.
As to ingredients if out of stock - you’ve managed thus far. There isn’t much out of stock these days anyway, and you can always phone each other to check.

I think YANBU to make your own decision about risks if you want to shop together.

I think YABU to cobble up some non reasons to justify it!

TopBitchoftheWitches · 30/07/2020 12:41

Just do it, everyone else is. Letting their super spreaders run all over the place

Clift19 · 30/07/2020 12:43

My husband and I had to shop together until this month as I was heavily pregnant and couldn't manage the trolley when it started to get full but my husband doesn't drive (I do) we got some horrific looks from people but I think if you do your best to stay away from people and limit your time in store, then go for it. At the end of the day you have to do what works for your personal situation as long as you're being careful. We for instance did a big shop for 2 weeks rather than 1.

Hellokitty82 · 30/07/2020 12:45

I have NEVER understood why shopping needs to be a "family outing"

One adult, one trolley, one list of stuff and one person to sort it,
Where's the issue in that?

Or do an online shop

It's totally un-necessary for an entire family to go shopping and a bit selfish in the current climate and an added risk.

Think about other people and the risks

Original poster
lockeddown92 · 30/07/2020 12:48

I know we don't HAVE to go together, we haven't been going together in months. I know full well there's ways around it. It would however be easier to go together.

@Hellokitty82 the shop will be pretty much empty so I don't see that I'm putting anyone at additional risk. We also had negative Covid tests yesterday.

OP posts:
NoIDontWatchLoveIsland · 30/07/2020 12:50

DH and I took both kids on weekend. They are 3 & 1 and live the supermarket and are confined to a trolley seat so we can control their distance from others.

TheGreatWave · 30/07/2020 12:51

Just go, I thought you were going to say you had 5 kids or something.

Frazzled13 · 30/07/2020 12:52

There are plenty of people shopping together (either two adults, or adult(s) with kids) in my local supermarkets. I think it's fine, especially if you go at a time you know is quiet.

Lyricallie · 30/07/2020 12:53

My fiance and I both went into Asda on a long drive home to use the loo and get some stuff. Nobody minded. Maybe go at a funny time so it will be quieter. We went about 9pm so it was quiet. Although it's generally quite quiet as it's in the Highlands.

LazyDaisy22 · 30/07/2020 12:54

Wouldn’t online shopping be much easier? Supermarkets seem to have a lot more delivery slots available now.

bigbluebus · 30/07/2020 12:56

In my local Lidl even 2 people shopping together is a nuisance as the aisles are narrow and the store comparitively small. But in larger stores at quiet times i can't see the problem. I encountered a group of 5 shopping in Sainsburys yesterday lunchtime. The store was reasonably quiet so they weren't causing anyone to have to queue but having all set off up the 1st aisle together they suddenly changed their minds and were then all heading back up the aisle towards me with nowhere for me to go to avoid them.

Original poster
lockeddown92 · 30/07/2020 12:57

@LazyDaisy22 it's much more expensive because I usually shop at Lidl or Aldi.

OP posts:
murasaki · 30/07/2020 12:57

HelloKitty82 - because even when I wrote out a nice neat list for DP as I' was immobile, he managed to forget the one thing on the list that was just for me. (not even anything exciting, just deodorant).

So now I can hobble, we both go so I can do the memory bit, and he can carry the stuff. We don't drive.

Never had a problem both being let in.

Glitteryone · 30/07/2020 12:58

Do it! Everyone else is.

My local supermarkets aren’t even queuing outside anymore and they’ve removed the one way systems from their floors.

RiverFlowers · 30/07/2020 12:59

Yeah, do it - we are back to going to shops as a family again as it was a right pain trying to sort it separately due to only one of us driving

Lazypuppy · 30/07/2020 12:59

Its fine, we've been going as a family for ages now.

Theres never a queue to get in anymore, capapcity has been increased.

Scotmummy1216 · 30/07/2020 12:59

I would just go as a family. My 1 year old has never sat on a shopping trolley might sound daft but i feel really sad about that. People saying children are the super spreaders are wrong....look at how many cases are in children...

ThatDamnScientist · 30/07/2020 13:00

@Hellokitty82

I have NEVER understood why shopping needs to be a "family outing"

One adult, one trolley, one list of stuff and one person to sort it,
Where's the issue in that?

Or do an online shop

It's totally un-necessary for an entire family to go shopping and a bit selfish in the current climate and an added risk.

Think about other people and the risks

If you are the only driver, you drive and he goes in. 2+ crowding round a trolley makes it harder for other people to pass whilst socially distancing. I personally think you are just looking for excuses as to why you both need to go. 🤷🏼‍♀️

(Caveat being I know some people need a carer to help whilst maintaining their independence - they are the only people in my opinion who need a second adult with them at present. From reading your OP you have managed thus far so you don't need a carer to assist with shopping.

Oh and in this modern world there is a thing called a mobile phone so you could ring or even video chat using store wifi if you really can't make a decision what to buy for yourself.

grissomsbugs · 30/07/2020 13:00

Can't you drive to the supermarket and take the little one for a walk nearby whilst your partner does the shopping or wait in the car for him if the supermarket won't let you in?

I took my kids on my own to Morrison's last week absolute ball ache never again lol.

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