To shop as a family?

[lockeddown92]

We haven't shopped together since lockdown but it's getting to be a right pain. Would we be unreasonable to shop together this evening?
DS is 8 months so can't run off and get too close to people. DH is the chef in the house and often has a better sense of what to get it something is out of stock. I'm the driver so I've been doing all the shopping myself for months. We have a dinner planned for Saturday and I have family members with dietary requirements.
I know I could drive to the shops with DS and DH, then me and DS sit in the car while DH shops, calling me if he needs to query anything. DS will probably get fed up of being in the car and complain loudly.
Our local Lidl is always really quiet after 7pm so would we be horribly unreasonable to go together? I kind of think we would but it would be so much easier.

I don't really understand why you are asking to be fair.
Look , no the rules say it's fine. There are very few shops saying one adult anymore. In some cases it irritates me , for example a queue means that two of you (or three I can never remember in which cases they count dc) mean that in some shops if I am behind you I have to wait longer. But really why does it matter if it irritates people.

Its naive for pp to winge about the actual covid risk , since the lifting of some measures two adults shopping together is the least issue that will hike the numbers if they are masked. In that way the risk is negligible.

Like I say it would irritate me and If I was in the queue and could hear your reasoning I would certainly roll my eyes and think it was ridiculous but again , let me. I can choose to be irritated you can choose to go as a family. Why on earth do you need others to tell you it is ok? Check the guidance online , check the rules for the actual shop online. Why do you need everyone else to tell you it's ok and they approve ?

No I do not intend to be less irritated because you dh doesnt drive (this is why when people claim it doesn't affect anyone else that they can't drive .....case in point ) and you apparently massively overthink and debate what you are having for dinner....but again why do you care ? Just go and do it.

Yes @MintyMabel I want to discuss, linger and faff. That's how I've always managed my budget. Maybe I plan to buy beef but there's pork reduced to 90p. I'll then want to decide what to put with it. I long to linger and faff. And no the pandemic didn't pass me by. I choose to shop at a quiet time no matter who's going so I don't feel so bloody rushed. People are sitting in in restaurants but I'm not to decide what I want for my dinner? Calm down. Also I'm not in England thanks very much.

YANBU!!

DH and I have been shopping with DS (4 months) multiple times over the last few weeks and it’s so wonderful to be back to normal.

DS is EBF and crazy clingy with me (lockdown baby) so the while ‘only 1 person’ thing essentially cut me off from being able to go anywhere or do anything. DH had never done our food shop before CV and doesn’t cook so it was a right pain in the arse. Then DS developer an allergy that meant I had to totally overhaul what I ate. DH didn’t have a clue, online info was incorrect - BLOODY SHAMBLES

Since the advice was relaxed I’ve had no issue going with DS and another adult (DH,DM,MIL) means I can push the pushchair and they can push the trolley.

We avoid weekends though.

Family supermarket items are idiotic at the best of times. Why would you have to sit in the car with DS? Evenings are warm and light, lock the car and take the baby for a walk!

There have been families shopping together in my local supermarkets throughout lockdown to be honest.

@Pumpertrumper I think it is time for DH learn to cook, shop and understand your DS's allergy

I'm with you OP re seeing what is reduced and changing mind. To be fair I do that myself, but if I had access to a chef to say "oh I could do an apricot chutney to go with that pork if they have any and maybe some parsnips" rather than buying the lamb you were going to get to have with carrots and mash or whatever then I'd gladly take advantage!

Yanbu my husband is the driver but useless at shopping so previously we had him driving there and staying in the car with DS 8 months whilst I go in. Last few times we’ve just gone in as a family , no ones batted an eye and plenty of other families are in there with children.

@Shinyletsbebadguys I asked because I'm honestly not sure. I've seen plenty of families out shopping together but that doesn't mean they're behaving acceptably. I've gone by the book to this point but I'm not even sure what going by the book looks like any more. It's a balancing act to do what's best for everyone and I was looking for some more opinions so I could weigh up what I wanted to do.

Same here I simply do not understand why people have to shopin couples or as a family? It simply increases the number of people in the supermarket when they are already busy enough. It does not take two people to push a trolley and I am sure it is much easier and quicker to shop alone. I hate food shopping.

Why doesn’t your husband drive?

Just go. Nobody will either notice or care. They will all be muttering under their breath about the people not wearing masks anyway.

@CheetasOnFajitas because he hasn't learned yet. He did learn previously but lacked confidence and failed. He then shelved it because we just didn't have the money. He'd like to try again but with me on mat pay and him on furlough it just wasn't possible. He'll get there though. I only passed my test about 2 years ago. We lived in a very expensive city until then. We just didn't have the money.

Dp, Dd and I go shopping together. We are weird and quite enjoy it though. I also don’t write a list for meals, I like to visualise what I’m having so like having dp’s input as to what he fancies.

We’ve had no cases of covid in our city’s hospital for 6 weeks, and 1 death since March in my postcode. I think we’ll be absolutely fine.

I very rarely took my DC in for 'major' shopping with me when they were little. Much more efficient for DH or one of the DGP to watch them.

These days if DH (DC are grown) and I go together we split the list and shop 'together separately'. Takes half the time.

because we can discuss and adjust recipes as we go. If there's reduced meat for example we can decide what we need to make it a meal on the way round the shop rather than a phone call or I just pick something and DH could have come up with something better.

Surely a solo adult can decide what might be needed to make a meal out of a reduced item without having to confer with someone else, either in person or by phone?

Supermarkets are my idea of absolute hell, and adding another person for ongoing consultation purposes plus a baby into the equation would only magnify that. But if it's your idea of fun, knock yourself out.

Laughing at some of the posts on here.

Of course they can go as a family. The child is in a pram. Get a grip.

Honestly think some people miss feeling like little stasi informants so run to mumsnet to Lord over everyone else. Morons.

People are sitting in in restaurants but I'm not to decide what I want for my dinner?

You can decide before you go.

Or, you can decide you can do things against the current advice because your particular situation is so special.

I long to linger and faff.

I long to hug my relatives. I long to go on holiday. I long for my daughter to have her sports lessons back. That doesn't mean I can decide to ignore the fact those things will put me and others at risk.

I think two adults and a baby is just about reasonable (one adult leaves empty handed with the baby if he gets restless) but people who shop as a family with more than one adult and mobile children are almost always unreasonable, with exceptions when one adult has a disability which means they need assistance and the children are too young to be left.

@Clift19

My husband and I had to shop together until this month as I was heavily pregnant and couldn't manage the trolley when it started to get full but my husband doesn't drive (I do) we got some horrific looks from people but I think if you do your best to stay away from people and limit your time in store, then go for it. At the end of the day you have to do what works for your personal situation as long as you're being careful. We for instance did a big shop for 2 weeks rather than 1.

Genuine question @Clift19 why couldn’t you wait in the car whilst your DH shopped? Why would he want to risk you when you were at your most vulnerable being in public?

Everyone in my house drives because we don't have good public transport and we could afford to pay for DSs to have lessons but the folk who seem to think that it's a problem that some people can't annoy me as much as mask nazis.

The reasons are that for some folk they just can't drive for medical reasons or financial or simply because on a day to day basis they don't need to. They don't need someone else insisting that they are a lesser human being because the can't or don't drive.

Could you not drop him off and go back for him?

To be honest I have seen families shopping together in my local supermarket. If the security let you in and it’s quiet and you both wear masks then go for it. Our Sainsbury’s has a sign saying one adult per group but it’s not enforced, the problem is other shoppers looking at you and knowing you have disregarded it but, frankly, people should mind their own business.

But try to be reasonable and don’t go in if it is busy. Not a lot of space in Aldi aisles for 2 adults and a buggy lingering over the sausages.

I’ve seen quite a few families at the shops. Nobody will bat an eye

I do. Learn a bit of independence. It’s a good skill to have.

I do. Learn a bit of independence. It’s a good skill to have.

What a load of patronising nonsense. People enjoy spending time with their families doing boring chores shocker.

You can’t fucking breathe atm without someone going bananas about it. Honestly

@MintyMabel but it isn't against current advice. I think your judgement of risk might be skewed but 2 adults and a baby standing in a shop (not blocking an aisle) deciding what to put with a reduced product for a meal, Both wearing masks and shopping at a quiet time. I would say is pretty low risk.

I don't think I'm special or have special circumstances, in fact I know I don't. We're pretty average.