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AIBU?

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Original poster

To shop as a family?

153 replies

lockeddown92 · 30/07/2020 12:23

We haven't shopped together since lockdown but it's getting to be a right pain. Would we be unreasonable to shop together this evening?
DS is 8 months so can't run off and get too close to people. DH is the chef in the house and often has a better sense of what to get it something is out of stock. I'm the driver so I've been doing all the shopping myself for months. We have a dinner planned for Saturday and I have family members with dietary requirements.
I know I could drive to the shops with DS and DH, then me and DS sit in the car while DH shops, calling me if he needs to query anything. DS will probably get fed up of being in the car and complain loudly.
Our local Lidl is always really quiet after 7pm so would we be horribly unreasonable to go together? I kind of think we would but it would be so much easier.

OP posts:
SantaClaritaDiet · 30/07/2020 14:32

This thread is ridiculous, sorry.

Yes, in normal time you are free to shop as a family and make it your outing of the weekend. This is not normal time, so YABU.

As the only driver, fair enough you either shop yourself or drop your DH and pick him up. Surely as both adults, he can shop without contacting you to "query anything"?

The only reason we had to go through a bloody lockdown (and are at high risk to have another one!) is because people cannot be sensible ever. Unless you are expressly fined for doing something, people translate it as it being encouraged when it's convenient for them.

Either of you can shop without the other one, and baby in tow, so just decide which adult it is.

TeddyIsaHe · 30/07/2020 14:34

The only thing ridiculous about this thread is people being nuts over shopping.

Where is the absolute outrage at families going to restaurants and spending 2/3 hours with others? Or getting pissed in the pub. It food shopping for fucks sake 😂

Daisychains20 · 30/07/2020 14:34

No shops here have said one person apart from Sainsbury’s which stopped that rule weeks ago.

TeddyIsaHe · 30/07/2020 14:35

I wonder if the posters getting het up are the ones calling people ACTUAL MURDERERS when they went out for tampons or milk in lockdown.

Wife2b · 30/07/2020 14:35

Plenty of people are doing it and it’s quite frustrating. It’s hard enough to socially distance when it’s just one person and a trolley, never mind several.

cologne4711 · 30/07/2020 14:35

I was in a Sainsburys last Saturday which was still asking for one person per family. It is one of the smaller "corner shop" types.

BigBadVoodooHat · 30/07/2020 14:37

but it isn't against current advice

So just go, given that that is clearly what you're desperate to do.

Given the mid-shop debates about what to make with the 90p pork mince, and the extended online conflabs about a proposed group trip to the supermarket, you must spend 90% of your day agonising over what to do for the best! Grin

squeekums · 30/07/2020 14:37

Go in as a family, we are and have been for weeks. No matter where your from, MN is not the place for unbiased, non hysterical corona advice

DP has ptsd so im the buffer for him with the public but he also the driver as i cant due to anxiety and flashbacks making me unsafe behind a huge metal weapon.
He is the more adventurous cook, has more care about putting a meal together, if it were up to me, we would live on pasta, i HATE cooking. He also picky on red meat, i just grab whatever.
It works for us, i dont give a shit what others say, no one is forcing the naysayers to live our life

Original poster
lockeddown92 · 30/07/2020 14:39

@BigBadVoodooHat yes I do tbh. I'll try not to drip feed but I'm definitely leaning on DH more just now than I have in the past.

OP posts:
vanillandhoney · 30/07/2020 14:40

I do. Learn a bit of independence. It’s a good skill to have.

What are you talking about? What does "learning independence" have to do with people wanting to do things as a family?

ineedaholidaynow · 30/07/2020 14:41

Our supermarkets still ask for one person to go in where possible, but they are not large out of town ones so maybe that makes a difference.

cologne4711 · 30/07/2020 14:42

2 adults and a baby standing in a shop (not blocking an aisle) deciding what to put with a reduced product for a meal, Both wearing masks and shopping at a quiet time. I would say is pretty low risk

but there will be people who won't be able to walk past you because they (still) want to give you 2m space. Or they'll be scared that you will look daggers at them if they pass at less than 2m because you are dithering and they don't want to wait. I just walk past but I have a thick skin as far as ditherers are concerned.

Haenow · 30/07/2020 14:42

It sounds like you’re going to do it, so go ahead. I don’t think it’s a massive problem but personally, not what I’d choose to do.

SantaClaritaDiet · 30/07/2020 14:42

well, you can see WHY restrictions had to be put in place... and people barely followed them at the best of time anyway.

People don't respect social distancing at all in supermarkets anyway, because they are so special and nothing applies to them. Nothing new.

cologne4711 · 30/07/2020 14:42

What does "learning independence" have to do with people wanting to do things as a family

Lots. Plenty of joined at the hip couples who can't do things separately, eg walk behind each other on the pavement when someone is coming towards them.

SantaClaritaDiet · 30/07/2020 14:44

Pretty sure a professional chef is perfectly able to manage his own food shop... even if he needs a ride to the shops and back Grin

cologne4711 · 30/07/2020 14:44

People don't respect social distancing at all in supermarkets anyway, because they are so special and nothing applies to them

I've worn a face covering from the beginning of lockdown and employed good hygiene before shopping, but if occasionally walking past a ditherer at closer than 2m (most aisles aren't even that wide) is being "special" then guilty as charged.

Anyway I don't get why people find supermarkets an interesting place for a family outing. Do it quickly and then do something nice.

Original poster
lockeddown92 · 30/07/2020 14:47

@SantaClaritaDiet yes he is perfectly capable of doing the food shop on his own, that leaves me and DS in the car. We could do laps of the car park but it's not a lovely day here so we'd be warmer in the car. I suspect this is what we'll do but I have a few hours to decide.

OP posts:
SantaClaritaDiet · 30/07/2020 14:50

that's a lot of energy spent about planning a simple food shop... good luck whatever you decide!

BigBadVoodooHat · 30/07/2020 14:50

[quote lockeddown92]@BigBadVoodooHat yes I do tbh. I'll try not to drip feed but I'm definitely leaning on DH more just now than I have in the past. [/quote]
So either let him shop alone while you wait in the car/go for a walk, or go into the shop with him and discuss your meals the way you like to do.

Regardless of whether you're more reliant on your DH now, you don't need MN to decide anything on your behalf.

You want to go to the shop with your DH. You don't believe it breaches any guidelines. So go. Or don't go. Decide for yourself. Decide as a family if you must.

Greenmarmalade · 30/07/2020 14:54

Go! No one will be at further risk. It’s fine- most people are doing so

BogRollBOGOF · 30/07/2020 14:57

Just go out and shop in the manner that suits you. If it's a busy time and there's a queue, that could be potentially problematic, but if it's fairly quiet, get on with it.

Back in May, DS2 was so bored that I took him food shopping just for the sheer excitement of being somewhere that was not our house or a park field. It was a quiet evening and it cheered up a child whose been worryingly close to depressed at time through this.

I generally shop solo, but sometimes it's useful for DH to go and have a browse himself rather than just making requests.

Roselilly36 · 30/07/2020 14:57

Just do it OP, it’s sheer craziness for people to say not to, when you could all go out to a restaurant together or sit on a cramped plane. No one will bat an eyelid.

WaxOnFeckOff · 30/07/2020 15:00

Jeez. What really is amazing is that some people can't understand why anyone would want to live their lives differently to the standards they have in their head and then get annoyed about it.

There are lots of stuff that people do every day that quite frankly annoys the fuck out of me but if it's not damaging me or my property and isn't illegal then i can get annoyed as I want but it doesn't matter as it's just what they choose to do or how they are or how they like to be. Some couples like to hold hands and do stuff together, surely that's up to them? some people like to live very independent lives within their couple. Some folk don't want to drive, some folk like jogging, other like movies etc. Everyone only gets one life and how they choose to live it is really up to them within the provisos above.

MintyMabel · 30/07/2020 15:03

but it isn't against current advice. I think your judgement of risk might be skewed but 2 adults and a baby standing in a shop (not blocking an aisle) deciding what to put with a reduced product for a meal, Both wearing masks and shopping at a quiet time. I would say is pretty low risk.

You are right. There is no specific advice that says you shouldn't linger and faff in a store because you are incapable of making a list and going shopping alone.

But if everyone decided that was the right way to shop just because they long to be able to do it, it would make shopping really difficult for everyone.

For someone who was allegedly on the fence about it, you seem awfully defensive of any suggestion it is a bad idea.

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