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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To shop as a family?

153 replies

lockeddown92 · 30/07/2020 12:23

We haven't shopped together since lockdown but it's getting to be a right pain. Would we be unreasonable to shop together this evening?
DS is 8 months so can't run off and get too close to people. DH is the chef in the house and often has a better sense of what to get it something is out of stock. I'm the driver so I've been doing all the shopping myself for months. We have a dinner planned for Saturday and I have family members with dietary requirements.
I know I could drive to the shops with DS and DH, then me and DS sit in the car while DH shops, calling me if he needs to query anything. DS will probably get fed up of being in the car and complain loudly.
Our local Lidl is always really quiet after 7pm so would we be horribly unreasonable to go together? I kind of think we would but it would be so much easier.

OP posts:
vanillandhoney · 30/07/2020 13:01

It's fine. There are no queues or limits for any of the supermarkets here anymore.

Mintjulia · 30/07/2020 13:01

Can’t you just write a list?

I’ve never understood families that shop together for food. It’s not a leisure activity. Why does it take two people to choose a bottle of wine or a bag of veg? Who needs to discuss whether 400g or 800g or rice?

This is why I shop at 8am. No unnecessary people blocking aisles, dithering & generally holding things up. Never mind the risks from cv19.

Iwalkinmyclothing · 30/07/2020 13:01

It's fine. Remember your masks!

puffinkoala · 30/07/2020 13:04

OP if you are the driver, stay in the car with the baby (or go for a walk) while DH does the shopping.

I really can't see why all 3 of you need to go into the shop.

Lazypuppy · 30/07/2020 13:05

OP if you are the driver, stay in the car with the baby (or go for a walk) while DH does the shopping.

OP you do not need to stay in the car. There is no reason why you can't all go in, its not like it was at the start of the pandemic

pepperycinnamon · 30/07/2020 13:05

YABU. You drive so you go shopping with the list by DH and text him if something is out of stock. Buy a cookbook while you are there and learn to cook yourself as well.

Mothermorph · 30/07/2020 13:05

Me and DH often disagree with what each others idea of essentials are but would feel it was waste of time, and unnecessary, for both of us to go (and our kids would hate us if we made them come!) But if it works for you and you go at a relatively quiet time I wouldnt think there was much wrong with it.

Alderaan · 30/07/2020 13:05

We're in a similar position. I'm the cook, DH is the driver, and DS is seven months so not mobile.

We've been shopping together for the last fortnight and have faced no issues at either Aldi or Sainsbury's.

puffinkoala · 30/07/2020 13:06

It's fine. There are no queues or limits for any of the supermarkets here anymore

I think it depends very much on where you live. There was an article on the BBC website a few days ago about Sainsburys trialling a virtual queuing app so that people didn't have to queue outside in the winter. They are obviously expecting queues to continue, at least in some areas. The shop in the picture was their Marsh Mills shop which I think is in Plymouth.

I am still choosing my time to go very carefully.

pepperycinnamon · 30/07/2020 13:06

@vanillandhoney

It's fine. There are no queues or limits for any of the supermarkets here anymore.
Waitrose has a poster up saying one adult only.
SleepingStandingUp · 30/07/2020 13:06

Who are these people who can get delivery slots so easily??

Original poster
lockeddown92 · 30/07/2020 13:07

@pepperycinnamon don't worry I won't starve any time soon. I can cook, he just cooks better, he is literally a chef.

OP posts:
1vandal2 · 30/07/2020 13:08

Yabu. It doesn't matter that capacity has increased it just means it's decreased being able to actually socially distance and increased the risk of an infectious person being in there.

Original poster
lockeddown92 · 30/07/2020 13:11

As I've already said I know we don't need to shop
together. In our household it would be easier but not essential. None of us have perished from malnutrition and I've been going it alone since March. I was just thinking that we infection rates are low, we have masks and the shop will be quiet I might take the path of least resistance.

OP posts:
Original poster
lockeddown92 · 30/07/2020 13:11

As not we

OP posts:
Womencanlift · 30/07/2020 13:13

@SleepingStandingUp

Who are these people who can get delivery slots so easily??
The only time I had an issue with getting a slot was the first two weeks of lockdown. Every time since then no bother at all.

I also have family at the other end of the country and they were similar, issues at the end of March but since then have had one every week (and that is 3 different households using different supermarkets)

NoIDontWatchLoveIsland · 30/07/2020 13:13

To all the people saying "do an online shop" every time I do it half the stuff isnt missing, I'm sent short dated meat, veg I wouldnt have picked myself etc.

I much much prefer to buy my own food in person and have assessed the risk to me & family as low. Dh and I wear masks and the children are kept away from others. I will not let my 3 year old continue to feel that life is not normal as it was affecting his mental health and he is not old enough to understand.

VainAbigail · 30/07/2020 13:14

Buy a cookbook while you are there and learn to cook yourself as well

How patronising.

howfarwevecome · 30/07/2020 13:14

As long as you're not one of the many people complaining come September that there's no childcare or nurseries open due to corona virus, go for it.

I'll admit, I'm baffled seeing entire families in shops under the current circumstances. Completely unnecessary. As you well know.

vanillandhoney · 30/07/2020 13:15

@SleepingStandingUp

Who are these people who can get delivery slots so easily??
I can log on to Tesco, Asda and Morrisons and get a slot within 48 hours.
EveryDayIsADuvetDay · 30/07/2020 13:16

If you get there and there's a huge queue outside, just one of you goes in
If there's no queue, or only a couple of people waiting, not a problem for you all to go in?

NoIDontWatchLoveIsland · 30/07/2020 13:19

Ps OP, I like you, know it is unnecessary.

We want to. And have put others needs ahead of our family for long enough now. If I never took my toddler anywhere "unnecessary" he would never leave the house.

NK346f2849X127d8bca260 · 30/07/2020 13:20

I have seen children in our local supermarket and a 8 month old is going to be in a trolley seat or pushchair not running up to people anyway. Seen loads of couples shopping all the way through lockdown, i always go shopping on my own, i see it as an escape from the family!

Dontfuckingsaycheese · 30/07/2020 13:21

I bat and I judge. It really does my head in. The least people in there the better. This pandemic is not over. It's not a trip to Disneyland. No need to take the whole family. Stay in the car. You've already said it will be quiet. You won't be waiting for long. He can do a quick in out. Rather than a family of 3 sauntering round blocking the aisles and upsetting the people who do want to do a quick in out no fuss who are still taking this seriously.

OhTheRoses · 30/07/2020 13:21

Just saying, I have just booked the first delivery slot that has been available since mid March and that's despite having looked at least two or three times a week. And despite spending over £100 I have had to pay the £3.50 delivery charge.

However, back to the OP. If you normally shop as a family that's your choice, although I think it's poor use of time and the more people in the shops, the longer the shop takes and the more tiresome it is for everyone else. At the present time, I think it's unreasonable to do together, regardless of what other people may be doing in other supermarkets in other parts of the country. If everybody followed the guidance then collectively we have a far greater chance of avoiding an up-tick in infection.

Apart from all of that I think you need to learn to cook and your partner needs to learn to drive. That way you each acquire an additional life skill and moving forward will be able to look after each other if one of you is unable to cook or drive.

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