Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6 7

Original poster

To shop as a family?

153 replies

lockeddown92 · 30/07/2020 12:23

We haven't shopped together since lockdown but it's getting to be a right pain. Would we be unreasonable to shop together this evening?
DS is 8 months so can't run off and get too close to people. DH is the chef in the house and often has a better sense of what to get it something is out of stock. I'm the driver so I've been doing all the shopping myself for months. We have a dinner planned for Saturday and I have family members with dietary requirements.
I know I could drive to the shops with DS and DH, then me and DS sit in the car while DH shops, calling me if he needs to query anything. DS will probably get fed up of being in the car and complain loudly.
Our local Lidl is always really quiet after 7pm so would we be horribly unreasonable to go together? I kind of think we would but it would be so much easier.

OP posts:

Lifeisabeach09 · 30/07/2020 13:21

Sure if that's what you want.
However, wouldn't it make more sense for your DH to go solo with a list? Sorry if you'd already explained!!

MoreListeningLessChatting · 30/07/2020 13:23

I go very late at night - around 30 minutes before closing and even a very large store is very quiet. Perhaps aim for a similar time?

WaxOnFeckOff · 30/07/2020 13:25

Wouldn't bother me.

I've mostly shopped alone as I do the cooking and can drive, but sometimes if we are popping in on the way back from somewhere, DH has come in with me and I also took adult teen DS with me one night as we were both getting things for his brother's birthday as it would be silly to go separately to the same place.

I presume that the vast majority of people going together have a need to do so and as long as not causing big queues then it's no biggy. I tend to shop early evening when it's very quiet though so very rarely any queue.

RuggerHug · 30/07/2020 13:27

'It's not like it was at the beginning'.

I must have missed the eradication of the virus/development of it to be no longer contagious.

Sillysop92 · 30/07/2020 13:31

Just go, in town there are couples and families shopping in Primark, M&S etc. Non essential shops are open and none is limiting who goes in or out they are more concerned with masks and hand sanitiser.

Original poster

lockeddown92 · 30/07/2020 13:31

Just once more for the ones at the back I CAN COOK! My DH is a chef, he is literally a trained chef so weirdly enough he can cook better than I can. He does however work evenings and on those days me and DS do not starve. I am capable of putting together a decent meal for both of us. If DH is off in the evening he prefers to cook.

DH will learn to drive, I'm just back to work after mat leave and money is a little right but it will happen.

I have already chosen a time of day when the shop will be quiet, it's a big one with wide aisles. I don't know if we'll go together or not, I'm still on the fence.

I don't believe that there is any specific guidance from the government about one adult shopping for each household. Retailers are left to make their own decisions I think.

OP posts:

Lazypuppy · 30/07/2020 13:32

@RuggerHug don't be flippant. Obviously COVID is still around, but its not going anywhere anytime soon. People have calmed down, no panic buying anymore, cleaning routines up and running, life has to go back to some sort of normal. You can't carry on as if we are in lockdown forever. Well actually you can if you want, but don't expect everyone else to.

Everyone can make their own risk assessments about how worried or not they are about COVID.

MintyMabel · 30/07/2020 13:38

Can't he just write a list?

None of your circumstances suggests you have no alternative.

LondonJax · 30/07/2020 13:39

@lockeddown92 you're saying you're on the fence about shopping as a family but whenever someone says 'best not to because...' you're coming up with excuses why that's not a problem. So shop together!

But one thing I will say - you're having both had a negative Covid test and wearing masks won't protect you from it and you don't know what the person next to you in the meat aisle or at the checkout queuing point has. One person taking responsibility for the shopping makes sense rather than all three taking the risk but you're a grown up and you need to decide.

Just because the rules have relaxed doesn't mean the Covid virus has.

Original poster

lockeddown92 · 30/07/2020 13:39

@MintyMabel I've said more than once I know I don't need to shop as a family, just that it would be easier. If I didn't have an alternative I wouldn't be asking I would just do it.

OP posts:

m0therofdragons · 30/07/2020 13:40

Everyone else seems to be but why anyone shops as a family is beyond me. It’s always baffled me. Nothing to do with Covid but why an adult can’t decide what food to buy without consulting the other is weird.

RuggerHug · 30/07/2020 13:40

LazyPuppy and that's how you get more cases. People get bored and don't think of anyone but themselves. If you don't have to do something and it poses a risk, don't do it. I'm not in the UK but seeing some of the posts here(mn in general, not just this thread) it's mind boggling how different the attitude in the UK is compared to where I am. We're no perfect obviously but everyone I know is sticking to having enough cop on to treat the situation as seriously as it deserves.

Wormthatturned · 30/07/2020 13:40

Covid is spread by airborne droplets. I know we’re all supposed to be wearing masks in shops but I’ve seen so many people wearing them on their mouths only or their chin or etc,etc. Why take your baby when the baby could be elsewhere?
FWIW my husband who can’t cook very well, manages the shopping all on his own with the aid of a mobile phone. I expect about 3 calls per shop but he’s getting better with practice!

RedToothBrush · 30/07/2020 13:40

I think to a certain extent, as long as you don't do it every trip, go as a family. And you observe social distancing, masks etc and are respectful of others.

One of the things I'm struggling with is going into any shop or any place now. There is an argument to go as a family for people who haven't gone to the shops at all for the sake of their mental health and it might not be easy to do that alone for some.

Thats not being selfish. Thats recognising that the length of time this is going on, is now beginning to aggreivate mental health problems like social anxiety and aggrophobia in a variety of different ways.

For some that will be not being able to cope with lots of other people, but that also means they need some exposure to more people in a controlled way. For others that means being able to go and do certain things like go shopping even if that means going with someone else.

Its trying to get a balance between the two right and understanding that every time you go into a shop you don't go as a huge group but a one off or very occasional trip with someone else is probably in everyone's interest.

The situation has moved on from what it was several months and we need to consider that. That doesn't mean going back to normal, nor regular family outings to the supermarket but we do need to have a bit of leeway in what the 'rules' are for our own bloody sanity.

MintyMabel · 30/07/2020 13:42

just that it would be easier. If I didn't have an alternative I wouldn't be asking I would just do it.

How is 3 of you trailing round a supermarket any easier than one of you walking round with a list?

Dumpyandabdabs · 30/07/2020 13:43

I think it would be fine to go, don't let the nay sayers put you off.

Although personally, I'd save yourself the bother and get a click and collect at tesco, asda or Morrisons! It's so much easier!

Original poster

lockeddown92 · 30/07/2020 13:46

@MintyMabel because we can discuss and adjust recipes as we go. If there's reduced meat for example we can decide what we need to make it a meal on the way round the shop rather than a phone call or I just pick something and DH could have come up with something better.

OP posts:

LondonJax · 30/07/2020 13:47

BTW Lidl's own website says '- Whilst we are encouraging customers to shop on their own where possible, if you require assistance with your shopping you may be accompanied by someone that can support you. This also applies to single parent families and their children.'

So if you require assistance or if you're a single parent family that's fine. Down to you if you think you or your DH needs 'assistance' though.

Napqueen1234 · 30/07/2020 13:48

I never realised until Mumsnet how many people can’t drive. It would literally drive me insane if only I could drive to the supermarket and DH couldn’t go. Sorry to miss the point of the thread 😂

Alsohuman · 30/07/2020 13:49

The ban on couples shopping has been an absolute gift to me. Shopping with the bloke was an absolute nightmare. The joy of doing it alone is indescribable.

borntobequiet · 30/07/2020 13:51

The weather’s lovely. Go for a stroll with the baby. If there’s a park nearby, your husband could meet you there after putting the shopping in the car. But even a stroll around the car park in the sun has got to be better than sitting in a car or traipsing around Lidl.

WaxOnFeckOff · 30/07/2020 13:52

OP it's really pointless asking on here as many folk can't risk assess or are are struggling with anxiety etc.

Obviously depends where you live, but in my area, out of 96000 people there have no been only one or two cases (in care homes) in the last month and very few for the month before that. I go to a large airy supermarket when it's quiet, the risks of catching covid are much smaller than of me being totalled my a truck on the drive there.

I sometimes do click and collect and the occasional delivery but sometimes I just want to see what i'm buying and actually get a whole meal and not end up with half the ingredients for what I want. If i'm in store then I can see what there is and buy accordingly. Your DH being a chef is relevant too as he will be even more into seeing what's there.

If you basically have a repertoire of 10 meals which you rotate then it doesn't matter so much I guess.

BlueJava · 30/07/2020 13:53

I'd just go with whoever I want to (provided it's from our household obviously). We do try and go off peak - either very early or late and not for a main shop (which is delivered). However if I want to take my sons (both late teens) or DH I do. Frankly, they've opened pubs, they've allowed numerous protests and marches, I don't see why I can't go shopping with my family wearing a mask.

viques · 30/07/2020 13:54

Not unreasonable, as you don't stand one each side of the aisle with random bored child in the middle leaning on the trolley discussing if you want the spicy Mexican rice in a packet or the ordinary Mexican rice in a packet.........

(Looks around MN suspiciously to see if anyone looks guilty.)

They went for the spicy.

MintyMabel · 30/07/2020 13:57

because we can discuss and adjust recipes as we go

So not only do you want to go together, you want to linger and faff about deciding what you are getting?

Did the pandemic pass you by or something?

Write a list and go shopping yourself. There's a reason England can't get it's numbers down.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6 7

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet Log In

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.