To think that the worst thing you could be in life is fat.

[Dylaninthemovies1]

It just seems that no matter how successful a woman is in life, none of it matters, if she isnt slim (and preferably pretty too)

And, Online forums seem to be full of fat haters who are very smug and judgemental

I won’t be successful unless I’m slim.

This is also patently untrue. Plenty of successful women in all kinds of fields who are fat. Even a few in unlikely fields like acting and modelling.

If you don't treat being fat as something to be ashamed of, no one else will either. That's what I've found, anyway.

@Gwenhwyfar can you link that thread pls? Would love a read. No worries if faffy.

This is a ridiculous idea. I'm slim. Size 8. My little boy died in 2011. I would rather be obese and that not have happened.
Being overweight does cause health issues but there are far worse things going on in life.
Also being slim doesnt help with relationships as my love life is a continual disaster.

@ekidmxcl

The worst thing for a person to be is someone that hurts and upsets other people.

This^

Right now, it's pretty bad to be fat, because of the latest card that Her Majesty's Chief Clown has just pulled out of his sleeve. The vigilante mob are eagerly sharpening their swords. It reminds me of one of Tom Baker's voiceovers in Little Britain:

"In Britain, if a policeman sees a fat person eating chocolate, he is permitted to shoot them."

If you feel fat then you tend to fixate on this idea. I know because I was very fat (obese category 2), now overweight. When I was very fat, I was convinced all my problems would be fixed if I lost weight, spoiler they aren’t. Also I couldn’t see the personal or professional successes I’d achieved despite being very fat. No one has given me a promotion because I’ve lost weight, all of that has stayed the same whatever my weight. If you want to loose weight, do it for your health. My body confidence is still pretty crappy but I see healthy eating and exercise as a reward in itself, whatever it does to my body. Also delete social media or at least take a break. Spending too much time on there gives you a really skewed vision of the world. Plenty of fat women in real life have partners and both personal and professional success!

@updownroundandround

Unfortunately, people ARE judged on their ''attractiveness'' which includes their weight

www.cnbc.com/2017/11/03/study-finds-youre-less-likely-to-get-hired-if-youre-overweight.html

In an ideal world, it shouldn't happen, but we do not live in an ideal world, do we ?

I did a course in unconscious bias at work. The one thing that was not mentioned was general appearance, and I thought it was an important omission. People can and are biased against less physically attractive people in job interviews.

Good god no. Severe disfigurement, disability that prevent you doing all the things you want to do in life. Those are things I can understand but being overweight definitely not.

I do know what you mean. Obviously there are fair more worse things in life but in the sense of being seen as successful fat is failing. There's a reason why high income areas tend to have slimmer people.

I am gobsmacked at the 50/50 voting.

I am fat. I would like to be slim but it is absolutely not the worst thing that could happen to me in life & does not prevent me being successful.

YABVU.

[quote honeygirlz]@Gwenhwyfar can you link that thread pls? Would love a read. No worries if faffy.[/quote]
It's a sub-conversation in this one. Not the main point of the thread, happens somewhere in the middle. www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/3973566-to-have-reassured-an-obese-friend-by-telling-her-she-s-not-at-all-overweight

@Gwenhwyfar thanks will read now!

On MN people coach it as “being concerned for health” but really I think it’s just a big old chance to look down your nose at someone.

Only people who should mention it to me are my immediate family and health professionals

I know exactly what you mean, OP. Lots of other people do, too, but they are doing that MN thing where they deliberately misunderstand what you are saying.

I have felt the same, too. Especially after reading all the threads on here where women seem to have made it their life’s work to be and maintain a size 8 figure. If I spend too long on MN it can make me feel worthless, as I am a fat person and many of the posters seem to be appalled and disgusted by anyone over a size 10. It can make you feel like you are utterly revolting and people will throw rocks at you in the street. That’s when I turn MN off and go and read a book instead. My body is fat, but my mind is the cerebral equivalent of a racing snake, so that’s ok.

My mum thinks most female athletes look too chunky 🤷‍♀️

I think it's important to be healthy but that doesn't necessarily equal a small size. I used to do modelling & just because someone is slim it doesn't mean they have a good body.

@Daisy12Maisie. I am so sorry for your loss. I can’t imagine how awful that must be

people really don't want to hear about it from family or health care professionals either.
it's never never nice to be told you need to change a habit. take work places and changes to practice, two years later and you still get pushback "we use to do it this way"...

A lot of folk are slim online A lot of folk are rich online A lot of folk are smug and judgemental online A lot folk are arseholes online,
The truth in RL lies somewhere in between

OP, I feel this way sometimes and not other times. Just had a fantastic day out with Dteens. Bought some lovely new clothes. DTeens (both boys) very complimentary and took some very flattering photos of me. I am on the high end of the BMI 'very overweight' scale - nudging towards obese.But today I felt happy and was treated well everywhere.
What's made a massive difference is starting to exercise. I may be massive but I now feel strong and more energetic - and that really helps. It also makes me aware how powerful my weight can be - in an attack, I could use it to pack a punch. I think if you walk around like your weight is part of your power, it really alters how others treat you.

I was 6 stone at age 21....definately worse than being fat! Anorexia was to blame than that and the lifestyle was horrendous....never relt so trapped.
Is being slim better than being fat? Well looks wise perhaps and health wise definately but it is far more fun eating junk food and partying than eating salad and drinking green tea.
I do get you op though....women must be slim to be consideted succesful although we naturally store fat reserves for reproduction. If the patriarchy can make us focussed on loosing weight then we have less energy to focus on actual achievements like getting a degree or something...

@Dylaninthemovies1 - you’re the one going on about being fat being the worst thing in life. Try starting with fixIng your own thinking instead of projecting your feelings onto the rest of the world. The majority of adults are fat (ie overweight or obese), and I know the majority of adults do not think that is the worst thing you can possibly be in life.

Oh dear, I dont agree with this at all.

My friend lost her 5 year old child. I think thats possibly a bit worse than being fat FGS. What about being mentally unwell?- thats hardly accepted in society is it?

Look, I get we live in a very slim-centric world but statements like this arent helping you one bit and its actually pretty offensive to people who might be seriously unwell or have very serious issues going on they can do nothing about. At least you can do something about your weight. To say its the "worst thing" that could happen to someone is frankly- ridiculous.

I think instead of wallowing in pity, you'd be better off focusing on raising your self esteem and taking action to change the things about yourself that you are unhappy with. That far more productive than a thread like this, sorry.

“Only people who should mention it to me are my immediate family and health professionals.”

I wholeheartedly agree with that but when you’re fat you’re sen as fair game for abuse. I know, I have had loads.

I think it’s fair to say the thread title is sarcastic.