To think that the worst thing you could be in life is fat.

[Dylaninthemovies1]

It just seems that no matter how successful a woman is in life, none of it matters, if she isnt slim (and preferably pretty too)

And, Online forums seem to be full of fat haters who are very smug and judgemental

If you’ve got to choose between your face and your bottom, your face is better, more people look at it.

Yes that part is always missing on MNs. In real life most people are also concerned with how their face looks but lots of posters seem to associate slimness with attractiveness & ignore the face. Yes being smaller can look better body wise but someone like Ashley Graham is far more beautiful than most regardless of her weight because of her face.

That’s not worry though OP that others are watching their own weight. Just learn to be happy with yourself and embrace your own size. It works both ways.

lots of posters seem to associate slimness with attractiveness & ignore the face

Darling, we all know thats what fillers are for! You no longer have to choose!

I have been over weight and correct weight. There was a noticeable difference. Getting out of bed was harder, running to catch up a friend, carrying shopping etc etc. I was putting extra strain on my joints heart and lungs. There are a lot of health issues associated with being over weight and with the current strain on our health care system surely its just responsible to mot add to that by taking care of yourself and not being over weight?

I'm slim and pretty but not successful op so hope makes you feel better

But seriously, one of the most successful, incredible, sexy, beautiful woman I know is obese. Her weight is irrelevant, people are just drawn to her. Self confidence is more the key to success than how much you weigh imo.

I have high cheekbones and loads of dimples when I smile, which I didn’t know were there before I lost the weight. They were a surprise! I also have small, narrow almond shaped eyes that popped out of my face when it slimmed down.
I’m not a looker by any means...but there’s no question my face is more attractive now than before.

I’d harbour a guess that the same will be true for most people.

Are you fucking seriously suggesting being fat is worse than a global pandemic, not being able to have treatment for cancer as everything else is on hold, loosing loved ones and not being able to attend their funerals, the list goes on...???? Unbelievable, this has got to be a wind up. And no I’m not slim, just not shallow .

@pictish

Look, I’m not taking the quote as being literal. I was being flippant. I’m not ‘skinny’...I’m a normal weight. Just healthy.

I’m saying that as far as I’m concerned, pizza (or whatever) is nice but being a healthy weight is nicer. I’d rather watch what I eat and stay that way than eat more pizza than I should and put on weight. I’ve done it both ways and I know which way is far preferable for me.

Pizza is gross. Fact! Glorified cheese on toast.

You see, I think I eat the same now as when I was skinny, I just have more time to eat more of it. I was skinny due to a specific set of circumstances. I was busy at work, doing well at work, had a very active social life. Now, I'm stuck at home most of the time. Days out are cut short because someone needs a nap, someone's clothes are soaked through, someone has wet themselves, (not usually me, the last one arf arf).

I honestly think that when my dcs are a bit older I will find keeping my weight down a lot easier. In fact, when the littlest one starts nursery, I think things will change a good bit even then. Not to say I will sit back and eat cake now till September, but I do think life circumstances make a huge difference for me.

This is why I find Boris Johnson's weight loss and related obesity drive, unimpressive and slightly disingenuous as a "see I'm just like you people" point. I mean, if I had herd of staff to care for my eleventy million children, make and bring me all my food and access to a home gym, I honestly don't see how it is even an issue or achievement, losing weight. Kind of weird he needed to tbh. Ditto The Donald. Not to say, I have the worst life ever. Plenty of people have it worse. But I do think the combination of having a shit time at the moment, a predisposition to overeat, especially in difficult times and 24/7 access to my fridge do make it harder. Not impossible, before the "there's always an excuse" brigade turn up. Basically, nobody knows another person's circumstances, even good friends. Nobody's situation is identical. So I do think that compassion is usually the best policy when dealing with fat people.

Re rubenesque still being attactive; I'm not that big. I'm a chunky, not obese, hourglass shape and I'm tall, so I do carry it fairly well. My DH likes me this way. He likes me a bit slimmer too. Tbh, he, although he is v slim himself, with zero effort , he doesn't even think I'm fat, bless him. You might think I sound deluded, but I've posted on here in the past and even this nest of vipers think I look smaller than I am, and not plus size (I am - a good size 16-18), because I'm tall. I am too fat, but it definitely doesn't mean I'm gross or unattractive ACTUALLY. Protesting too much?

I would say I think a lot of people don’t do enough to keep their weight down. And I’m not talking about being super skinny. I’m a size 16 and this would be considered overweight by some people, but I’m comfortable with it. The problem is that as you get older if you are hugely overweight, health issues show up more. My dm has been a size 20 for much of her life, and now has heart failure, brought on by her lifestyle choices. She is in the later stages and we don’t expect her to be with us for long. It saddens me that we are going to lose her earlier due to her not heeding doctor’s advice years ago about weight control.

My BMI is in the overweight category, but I would describe myself as happy and successful. The extra weight doesn't define me as a person.

I'm fit and healthy, I have a lovely DH, amazing DC, a good career, lots of nice friends and a good relationship with my family. That's the important stuff. I'm not going to let that stubborn 2 or 3 stone ruin everything else!

Oh and I was skinny. On the very bottom end of normal BMI, bordering underweight, occasionally dipping into underweight. On me, this was definitely skinny. But, you see, it is a temporary state. Not a sign of my awesomeness as a human being. Just as being overweight now is not a sign of me being a dreadful human.

I don’t think she is seriously suggesting that, no...but jolly well done on being so earnest anyway.

@JacquelineLadyBugg

Oh and I was skinny. On the very bottom end of normal BMI, bordering underweight, occasionally dipping into underweight. On me, this was definitely skinny. But, you see, it is a temporary state. Not a sign of my awesomeness as a human being. Just as being overweight now is not a sign of me being a dreadful human.

And did that feel better than anything tastes...? ANYTHING? Hmmmm tbh no. It didn't feel all that great. People weren't even nicer to me. It sometimes had the opposite effect tbh. Did more men fancy me? Probably, but I was young, not especially pretty, but quite a clever clogs. I've lost half my brain since I had dcs* and feel about 100 years old. Also, I don't really see many men these days. Just toddlers, mums and occasionally a dad, but I don't happen to have any dad friends. Oh my best mate is male but he's gay and has never fancied me.

My life was pretty easy when I was skinny, but I think I was skinny because life was easy, my life wasn't easy because I was skinny. So, I don't agree with Kate Moss, (except some of her taste in men and clothes ).

*Oh hey, maybe it's cos I gained weight, since apparently all fat people are big dum dums ?

@pictish

I don’t think she is seriously suggesting that, no...but jolly well done on being so earnest anyway.

Thank you .

Look, I’m not taking the quote as being literal. I was being flippant
I’m not ‘skinny’...I’m a normal weight. Just healthy @pictish ignore pp's highlighting your posts or picking apart your comments.
I notice a some posters keep pushing you on this thread for your honesty. Ignore it. You were fat you've worked hard your slim now you've a positive outlook, you've explained the reasons.
There are a few green monsters hunting you

Only on Mumsnet where everybody is a size 8 and “teeny tiny” and nobody eats pizza.

@Emeraldshamrock

Look, I’m not taking the quote as being literal. I was being flippant I’m not ‘skinny’...I’m a normal weight. Just healthy *@pictish* ignore pp's highlighting your posts or picking apart your comments. I notice a some posters keep pushing you on this thread for your honesty. Ignore it. You were fat you've worked hard your slim now you've a positive outlook, you've explained the reasons. There are a few green monsters hunting you

What?! I thought this was lighthearted banter. Ffs.

@pictish, please don't think I was trying to pick you apart at all . If anything, I was picking apart a statement by Kate Moss, which even she later retracted I think.

As for green monsters, oh please. What a low brow argument. Someone doesn't agree with someone. "She must be well jell hun. What a fat neghead, trying to bring you down babes". No! I am not. Honestly, i was enjoying the debate and trying to have some fun with it. Didn't realise this wasn't allowed because some cunty member of the thread police would think I was being a bit fat meany and well jell .*

Obviously, if I could wave a magic wand and be slim again, I'd do it for the health benefits. But I am sure pictish got there through hard work and sacrifice. So being envious would be really silly, as she hasn't been handed anything I assume .

*PS: I was always this much of an asshole, even when skinny. I enjoy a robust debate and it rarely effects me badly, which is why I'm on AIBU. Sometimes, I do have to be told to get back in my cage, but that has nothing to do with my weight . Just my dreadful personality , which was evident when skinny also, (shocking I know).

“Pizza is gross. Fact! Glorified cheese on toast.”

Couldn’t agree more. I’m not arsed for pizza at all but I picked it as an example because it’s something that everyone seems to love. Pizza was never my poison.

I agree with everything else you said there too. Junk and convenience food is cheap, our workaday existence doesn’t lend itself to making time for better nourishment and even harder when there are dependents in the mix. Food is very expensive here and on top of that, we are constantly bombarded with adverts for what is essentially artery-clogging rubbish, like it’s a good thing.

@pictish

“Pizza is gross. Fact! Glorified cheese on toast.”

Couldn’t agree more. I’m not arsed for pizza at all but I picked it as an example because it’s something that everyone seems to love. Pizza was never my poison.

I agree with everything else you said there too. Junk and convenience food is cheap, our workaday existence doesn’t lend itself to making time for better nourishment and even harder when there are dependents in the mix. Food is very expensive here and on top of that, we are constantly bombarded with adverts for what is essentially artery-clogging rubbish, like it’s a good thing.

Thanks pictish .

I am such an asshole sometimes without meaning to be. I just enjoy the debate! I'm much better IRL I swear...ok maybe not that much. Glad you don't think I was having a go (I hope). As I really wasn't. I just thought it was a good talking point which in really glad you, (or whoever it was), brought up .

Sorry my comment about being earnest was for Iloveliberty.

I’m not a looker by any means...but there’s no question my face is more attractive now than before

It might be now. Wait til you hit 60.

“Pizza is gross. Fact! Glorified cheese on toast.”

Wtf

I didn’t think you were having a go jaqueline I’m enjoying the debate too. No worries at all.

@JacquelineLadyBugg I don't mean you directly you were using banter, pictish was mocked on previous pages too yesterday, I don't think it's fair she is being berated for her posts.

@Alsohuman

I’m not a looker by any means...but there’s no question my face is more attractive now than before

It might be now. Wait til you hit 60.

I’ll risk it thanks. With a little effort and some luck on my side I’ll still be running, cycling, hillwalking, fit and active and making the most of my life so the pay off will be worth it. Health before beauty, especially at 60.