To think that the worst thing you could be in life is fat.

[Dylaninthemovies1]

It just seems that no matter how successful a woman is in life, none of it matters, if she isnt slim (and preferably pretty too)

And, Online forums seem to be full of fat haters who are very smug and judgemental

An intelligent person would grasp the distinction, so would not take the risk. It would be stupid to declare that intelligent people don't get fat, because I have a clever friend who is, but she excuses her obesity by thinking that the ability to cook is beneath her intelligence, instead of using her intellligence to cook healthy delicious food quickly.

I'm currently the fattest I've ever been and by far and away the happiest. I don't think they are directly related but a few years ago I stopped reading diet articles in magazines or looking at celebrity articles where they talk about their lifestyle. Life would be easier if I were slimmer (easier to buy clothes, fewer problems with my knees etc) but I can't imagine it would change my life dramatically or improve it significantly. Dieting and thinking about my body shape makes me depressed. Being relaxed about what I eat and ignoring the societal pressure to be thin allows me to enjoy my life the way I am.

She decided in her teens that cooking was for losers, and has eaten from supermarket chill cabinets ever since. The only loser has been her health.

@XingMing

An intelligent person would grasp the distinction, so would not take the risk. It would be stupid to declare that intelligent people don't get fat, because I have a clever friend who is, but she excuses her obesity by thinking that the ability to cook is beneath her intelligence, instead of using her intellligence to cook healthy delicious food quickly.

I actually think you might be conflating emotional stability and perfect mental health with intelligence. Hemingway was a chain smoking alcoholic who shot himself, but was considered a genius. Mozart led a very unhealthy lifestyle, but is also considered a genius. Van Gogh cut off his ear. Jean-Paul Sartre took cocaine, smoked and drank. Again, considered a genius.

It is definitely not the case that only clever people know how to be healthy and big dummies don't and are all surprised when they are told that drinking absinthe while chain smoking gaulloises isn't GOOD for their health, is it?

@JacquelineLadyBugg

Definitely predates the 70s imo. I read a book about this history of fat phobia, by a proper academic btw, not some wellbeing guru or whatever. In that, the author dated it back hundreds of years and believes it began in the USA, which is a bit ironic considering how, well, not skinny people often are in the states. Saying this as a US citizen living in England btw.

But there have been times when being voluptuous, Rubenesque, was considered far more desirable.

While I would not wish to out myself or the person I refer to, the individual is absolutely not emotionally unstable or unbalanced. She just can't be bothered to think about her body's nutritional requirements, eats rubbish and is more than slightly dismissive of people who regard physical health as important.

@JacquelineLadyBugg. I agree. I have a reasonably high IQ. I was always in the highest classes at school, and was Dux at high school. But, I’ve struggled with my weight since my teens. I’ve also had significant MH issues which may well have contributed to comfort eating. I also struggle with fine motor and gross motor skills meaning that exercise (apart from swimming) has generally been a challenge for me. I think obesity is rather complex, and not down to stupidity

@tootiredtothinkofanewname. Adele. I think she is beautiful whether slim or fat

I'm not sure what you mean by 'known because of their size'. I can't think of anyone who is famous because of their size, whether fat or thin.

Women who are plus sized and successful:
Diane Abbott
Dawn French
Vanessa Feltz
Gabourey Sidibhe
Octavia Spencer
Oprah
Melissa McCarthy
Adele (well, she was when she became famous, anyway)
Amber Riley
Rebel Wilson

Can't believe I forgot Beth Ditto!

Liza Tarbuck (Just been watching her in The Upstart Crow-hilarious)
and Ina Garten (aka The Barefoot Contessa)

Angela Merkel is not precisely skinny, either. I'd say she's done all right.

Jo Brand
Gemma Collins (I know, but she IS successful)
Miriam Margoyles
Kathy Burke

Ruth Davidson.

Okay, at this point, I'm just going to say that if you can't think of any successful public figures who are larger ladies, that is not their fault.

@pictish and @Geraniumblue Yes to all those!

I get what you're saying.

I could have several degrees, be a ceo be a president and yet my mum is still far more impressed with someone's ability to stay slim and have willpower to not eat than education or any career or life achievement

Ruth Jones

I know several larger men & women with successful careers and lives.

Sometimes, I decide what I like largely for aesthetic reasons. It doesn't stop me liking individuals personally. It does stop me hearing their complaints.

Lisa Riley
Alison Hammond

@XingMing

While I would not wish to out myself or the person I refer to, the individual is absolutely not emotionally unstable or unbalanced. She just can't be bothered to think about her body's nutritional requirements, eats rubbish and is more than slightly dismissive of people who regard physical health as important.

Sorry, this is the very intelligent friend? So, she has chosen not to prioritise her physical health, when you have argued that only a stupid person would fail to prioritise their physical health over other things. If she is robust mentally and emotionally and yet she is also intelligent and you argue that an intelligent person would always prioritise their own health... well, does that not contradict your argument? I appreciate maybe you were using her as the exception which proves your made up rule the rule.

@SerenDippitty, yes, you are right. I think, rather than attempting to explain the book I mentioned to you, (I wouldn't do it justice), I will just tell you what it's called, as, if you're interested in the subject, I would really recommend it. It is called Fearing the Black Body, by Sabrina Strings.

I would rather be fat than be a twat.

I’m fat and it has never held me back.

I get what you mean OP. I think there are successful large women, but it is always commented on.

I am the heaviest I have ever been (well I'm pregnant but this time last year before I went on a weight loss kick I was) but it is because I am happily married. When I was single and unhappy I kept myself slimmer as I felt I wouldnt attract someone otherwise. Once I got together with DH the weight crept on as I didnt need to keep myself slim. I am unhappy with my weight but I was much unhappier being single. I might, I hope, I lose a bit of the weight but I dont think the worst thing in life for me is to be fat.

@bridgetreilly. I had to actually google Ruth Davidson as despite seeing her on TV loads, I had no idea she was fat. I don’t agree with her political views, but I do like how she speaks, and seeing her with her wife and son she just just looks unbelievably happy