Aghhh MIL

[misstiggiwinkle]

My hugely overbearing, manipulative and down right rude expat MIL has just announced that she will be arriving at our house on Thursday morning (at 5.30am) straight off a flight from Hong Kong (where she lives) as they are going into a new lockdown on Wednesday due to rising corona cases.

I'm 28 weeks pregnant with dc3, my husband is also on the vulnerable list. We have been extremely careful for the last 4 months and other than my 5yr old going to school with very draconian social distancing (squares in the playground, classes of 7 etc) and now the bloody woman wants to cross the world on a long haul flight, travel to us on public transport and pitch up for 'breakfast'. AIBU to say no?! And if IANBU then how to I stop her turning up regardless as she's that sort?

Her plans are then to 'hop on a train' to Edinburgh next week to go and stay with her 83yr old mother and visit her daughter along the way (who by the way is a hospital DR). I just feel like it's so painfully selfish and just because she fancies a holiday.

Good for you! It’s her own fault for being so entitled. And I totally agree with the earlier poster that said she was a classic narcissist! 100%

You have absolutely done the right thing and if your dh can’t see this and can’t take the pressure from MIL/Fil, then he needs to switch off the phone and leave them to it.

Well done you!

Agree with @forrestgreen.

Polite, rebuttal and repeat as necessary.

If she becomes pushy just make it clear it's not for negotiation and you won't be opening the door to her and mean it.

Well done @misstiggiwinkle hope you, the dc’s and your dh are ok.

And I agree with what @elfycat said

If I were you, I’d get the on the phone to fil before he calls you to tell him that you do not appreciate mil turning up (when she was specifically told not to), upsetting you, your dc’s and your dh

Well done OP. It is very difficult to stand your ground in circumstances like this. I am in awe of you.

@CaveMum says it all for me. Stay strong.

Just caught this thread.

Firstly well done OP.

Second thing, you mentioned your FIL's MO is to call your DH and tell him off for upsetting his wife....

I'd make the point to your DH in advance of any future conversation that given your he and your MIL have no concerns whatsoever in upsetting HIS wife then he's simply extending them the same lack of courtesy they extend to both him and you.

He needs to make clear that he's reacting to her poor behaviour and if she doesn't want to be upset then she needs to stop upsetting others first and his father needs to recognise that to root cause of the upset lies firmly with his wife and him for enabling her.

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Tell her to piss off! Ghastly woman.

Under absolutely no circumstances give in to her or put your family at risk.

Sounds to me as if it is about time someone stood up to her. FIL is probably heaving a massive sigh of relief, waving her goodbye at the airport..

Ah.....I see you already have! Well done! All power to your elbow! Good on you!

One thing in your post that fills me with fury is the fact that your children finished up in the middle of it and basically being manipulated by her - my Mum did this just the once....and never again!

Why do people behave like this? I am a grandma and would cut off my right arm rather than put my AC or GC at risk in any way.

@misstiggiwinkle How are things with DH, OP?

Yowser! Well done you!! Bloody awful selfish woman - is she really really going to visit her 83 yr old mother next? The mind boggles at such selfishness and stupidity!!

One of the best updates I have ever seen!!

Well done OP

Well done for sticking up to MIL. I agree with the PP who says that AP deserves a bonus and to thank DH for sticking up for you. Just push the point that you didn’t want this to happen but that you cannot risk your family becoming a COVID-19 statistic. Hopefully that’ll make him realise he did the right thing and just how unreasonable his ‘D’M has been.

OP... I think I love you!

I'd love to know where MIL has ended up...travelodge, hostel?!

Well done OP, absolutely down right disrespectful and rude of her to think it's ok to stay after running from a hotspot.

Well done OP. I wonder what the wider family in the UK thinks of this woman's behaviour, and hope they all keep their distance.

Well done to you, what a selfish woman, you are the person who should be resting (as much as you can) and not having to be in a situation to cause you stress.
I am keen to see what your father in law says, and did you also mention your husband has a sister?.
There is no way her behaviour is justified. Xxx

I really hope the MIL hasn't talked/guilted her way into the house

Great work, OP, and hats off to your au pair too!

Some people are so convinced they can get their own way all the time that it takes something like this to get through to them.

I hope we get another update after your DH has seen her....

Crikey.

This woman is insane.

OP on the other hand is a legend.

I hope everything has settled down OP, that MIL has pissed off elsewhere and your DH is coping(!) Mostly, that you are OK too

Yes would like to know how things are going and that you're ok!