AIBU to think it’s not me who’s ‘odd’

[NotOdd]

Apparently (according to bf) I’m odd, out of touch and not like “most people” because I think Sunday roast lunch as a regular standard default family event is normal and that about now is the time to start firming up Christmas plans in terms of guests etc.

Bf says he knows no one who regularly has a Sunday roast lunch or anyone who thinks about Christmas “this early”. He thinks this is because I come from a “backward” part of the country 🙄

I am genuinely confused because literally everyone I know (bf and his family aside) would have a roast Sunday lunch (not set in stone, other things may happen instead ie days out, bbq in the summer etc) and everyone I know either has, or nearly has, their Christmas plans settled. When I say ‘everyone’ I mean my whole family, my EXH whole family (going by knowing them for 20 years) and all my friends.

AIBU for thinking it’s not me who’s the ‘odd’ one?

Not odd at all!!
We don't have Sunday roast as often as we did when we both lived with our parents (both very traditional Sunday lunch around 2/3 every weekend upbringing) and our families still do cook Sunday lunch, I'm just a bit lazy 😮
Christmas plans I hate making them before October, however again both sets of parents like to have a plan in mind from July time.

So no you're not odd, but you're part of a dying breed I think.

BlindAssassin1

He thinks this is because I come from a “backward” part of the country

Well, this is rude. I suppose he lives an endlessly sophisticated life and hails from a cosmopolitan city, rather than the rest of us who chew turnips six days a week in our rural backwater holes and look forward to a roast on Sunday?

I would also suggest that he isn't thinking about Christmas because he doesn't organise anything for it, and simply turns up to gatherings where the Christmas fairies have done everything? Just a guess.

This post nails it. You're getting bogged down in the wrong issues: your boyfriend is a sneery dick.

Sunday roast here too, usually chicken - it's an easy meal because it does itself in the oven IMO. Usually eat it in the evening which means we can be out during the day. If we were going to be late back from an event I might pick something quicker to cook.

Not planned Christmas, not sure what we'll be doing - our family is spread out so sometimes see them between Christmas and NY if we travel to them. This year, it is going to be a little more difficult to plan ahead with the pandemic.

I'm with you OP! We have a Sunday roast pretty much every Sunday. We have it in the evening as we are out doing stuff during the day. We also go one better and have a massive Sunday breakfast AKA dirty great fry up on Sunday morning. This keeps all of us going, with a few bits of fruit to snack, on until dinner. Perfect! I love the traditional-ness of Sunday food, plus the fact that we all get to sit round the table to eat properly. The kids love it and as an extra bonus you have cold meat to use for the following day. Sunday roast is really not that difficult / time consuming to prepare, particularly if you do it whilst chatting and having a glass of something nice!

On Christmas, you are not too early either. If you want to go to a restaurant for example, most places are booked up by August. We have already started to think about what are plans will be - this doesn't mean I'm prepping yet but certainly starting to think about what we are going to be doing.

As for the Sunday lunch, sorry but to me people who always have a ‘roast’ on Sunday, to me, have always been lower-class/‘chavvy’ (sorry to use that term)
So what if people aren't mc. Wtf is wrong with w.c people? Why does it matter who or what or where people come from? Are you that arrogant? Superiority complex maybe.
Nobody's asking you to join in licking the gravy off the plate.

We just don't live the sort of life that accommodates being in the vicinity of the oven for 2+h on a Sunday as a guarantee. Certainly not in the middle of the day.

If we meet people, I prefer to eat out or avoid meal times so that no one is hosting. We like to actually DO stuff in the day rather than being tied to the house.

I start Christmas shopping in July, because I tend to buy one or two presents a month and be done before December. We know we're taking our turn with the ILs this year, but the actual day plans aren't fixed (not sure how they could be with the virus?!).

i dont really think I;ve ever done the sunday roast thing, my nana and grandad would sometimes do one and we'd go round, but it was very casual and informal, mostly eaten on laps. i sometimes fancy a roast dinner on a thursday so I have one on a thursday. as for christmas, i find that odd, but it doesnt mean you are wrong. just that i wouldn't do that. i dont really like christmas or having guests over at my house due to anxiety and i like having my own space, christmas is a very low key affair for us and honestly, i'd rather have curry/pizza! but that doesn't make you 'odd'. just different to me and maybe quite traditional :) but do what makes you happy op.

I only have Sunday lunch if we have lots of family around, and even then only occasionally. I'm not even going to think about Christmas before November.

Never do a Sunday roast - it’s just a normal dinner, at dinner time, like every other day.

And Christmas is exactly the same unless my parents are staying, in which case I’ll do a traditional dinner. No fuss, any planning required starts a week or so before.

We go to my parents every Sunday for a roast and I love it. Combines yummy food, seeing family and friends, gossip, wine and sitting in the garden.

Yes I could be using that day off to go shopping or get stuff done but some things are good for the soul so I prioritise it.

But then I’m northern.

I think neither Sunday roasts nor planning Christmas now are uncommon. But I do think it's a bit odd if absolutely everyone you know has a roast every Sunday and their Christmas plans sorted already. TBH I wouldn't know either of those things about everyone I know!

We have a roast on Sunday probably a couple of times a year, such a lot of prep and tidying up for a meal that's eaten in 20 mins. Parents have started murmuring about Christmas plans but nothing actually decided yet.

Always have a roast on a Sunday.

Don't start planning Christmas until much much closer to the event.

Each to their own 🤷‍♀️

I have Sunday roast every Sunday! It feels bizarre if we don't have one!
Christmas... I start putting away money for Christmas around June.
I won't know my Christmas shirts until October/November so that's when I plan meals etc.

Your not odd!
It would be a boring world if we were all the same x

You are not odd. My family and DH family have a roast every Sunday. We tend to have one every couple of months because there's only 2 of us and I find it a lot of washing up just for us! 😂 in terms of Christmas - if the persons birthday has gone and I saw present idea which is likely not to be available closer to Christmas or is on offer I would buy it. We always have a rough idea the plan for Christmas as we alternate between families (so if we have Christmas Day with one the next year we have Boxing Day with them but would plan who hosts a bit closer to the time). However, next year we will have a mini me in tow so we've already chatted between us (me and DH) what the plan could be from next year onwards as I think a baby changes this and it would be nice to have one full day either Christmas or Boxing Day in our own home together. Xxx

I have not had a Sunday roast dinner since I left home 20 years ago, my mum always cooked one but we normally have a takeaway on a Sunday.

Christmas isn’t planned until Nov/Dec in our house. It’s still the summer just now!

So I have to agree with your oh.

WAY too early for xmas arrangements unless you are booking to eat out somewhere. I don't have regular sunday lunch but did growing up.

I love roast, in fact I’m about to make the left-over roast chicken from Sunday into chicken pies for dinner tonight.

And I don’t get why people think it’s such a faff. Chicken in the oven, par boil potatoes then stick in the pan with the chicken, carrots and peas and whatever else twenty minutes before serving, take out the chicken, make the gravy with stock and cornflour in the roasting tin, and if you want Yorkshire’s and stuffing then aunt Bessie’s Yorkshire’s and pork sage and onion stuffing balls....

And I take the same approach to Christmas dinner except I buy a pre-stuffed turkey crown and pigs in blankets. But for all that it’s just a glorified roast.

I actively avoid anyone who starts talking about Christmas before November. And TBH I think Christmas this year will be a non event anyway.

Is anyone else scrolling through the replies to see where OP is from

We had a roast every Sunday without fail - 40 odd years ago. Not now, we might have one every couple of months and it might be on a different day.

Definitely never arranged Christmas in July, but that depends on how far away visitors will be coming from.

I am from Essex.

Christmas planning starts in December. Roasts only happen on Easter Sunday, Christmas day and NY day here, unless someone else cooks for us!!

I think it's really lacking in imagination when people go out for a roast. Go out on a Sunday, yes fine- but why pick the ultimate home cooked meal (and not even on a Sunday, DM has been known to do it whenever suits her) compared to some of the lovely things you can get in a restaurant? Each to their own though. I'm also awkward because I only really eat my mother's roast. Hers is the nicest in terms of veg & trimmings and she's the only one who makes proper gravy (served in a proper gravy boat). Not even restaurant gravy is as nice as hers.

We do Sunday lunches of some sort most weeks as it's a nice way to get the family round the table. While we normally wouldn't be discussing Christmas this early in the year, it wouldn't surprise me if we did seeing as it would involve international travel.

So not completely out of the ordinary odd for me.

Christmas? 24 hours of squabbling and face stuffing and landfill. Can't wait.

Sunday roast here every week. It's my kids favourite meal, one of the ones they all like. I also make them sit at the table for tea every evening but it's a very relaxed meal, again it's just so I actually get to see their faces as being teenagers they are invisible most of the time.
Christmas, no plans.

My mum plans Christmas from May, June, and wants to know who’s coming what day and what they want for starter etc by this time of year.
She’s always done it, it is quite hard knowing what you want to eat in six months time but it makes her happy.
She also wouldn’t contemplate anything other than a roast on a Sunday, unless it’s baking hot when she will still do a roast but have it with salad.

I’m a bit less rigid, I think roasts are overrated anyway.

But people are different, and your boyfriend sounds like a bit of a dick to be honest if he can’t see that.
Sounds like the battle I used to have with my ex - just because you do it, doesn’t make anyone not doing it wrong.

Sunday roast: not 'odd' to do it with your own family; quite a number of people do. Assuming that everyone must be doing it would be a bit unrealistic (some people work on Sundays; some want a rest from everything including serious cooking; some are veggies or just don't like roasts).

Christmas planning: unless you have a lot of relatives abroad, who would have to make travel plans early, I think planning this early is a bit unusual. And I would not really recommend it this year, when anything can change suddenly, depending on the Covid situation: we could be anywhere between a second lockdown and an effective vaccine which has put the whole crisis into the past.