AIBU to think it’s not me who’s ‘odd’

[NotOdd]

Apparently (according to bf) I’m odd, out of touch and not like “most people” because I think Sunday roast lunch as a regular standard default family event is normal and that about now is the time to start firming up Christmas plans in terms of guests etc.

Bf says he knows no one who regularly has a Sunday roast lunch or anyone who thinks about Christmas “this early”. He thinks this is because I come from a “backward” part of the country 🙄

I am genuinely confused because literally everyone I know (bf and his family aside) would have a roast Sunday lunch (not set in stone, other things may happen instead ie days out, bbq in the summer etc) and everyone I know either has, or nearly has, their Christmas plans settled. When I say ‘everyone’ I mean my whole family, my EXH whole family (going by knowing them for 20 years) and all my friends.

AIBU for thinking it’s not me who’s the ‘odd’ one?

I've voted YABU but I don't think you're odd. I know that a Sunday roast is a thing in some families, just not ours. I also know that some people sort Christmas out early, and again, not us but it's not odd.

Sunday roast lunch reminds me of my childhood when there never seemed to be anything to do on a Sunday.

It eats into the day too much when you could be out with the kids.

It is a nice treat when the weather is bad and you just want to stay indoors.

I dont know anyone who sorts Christmas out in July? Surely most people have routine anyway, we all always go to my mums with my in-laws so no discussion needed. And a roast every sunday is very old fashioned but if you enjoy it then why does it matter what others think?

I would also suggest that he isn't thinking about Christmas because he doesn't organise anything for it, and simply turns up to gatherings where the Christmas fairies have done everything? Just a guess.

Or maybe he isn't thinking about Christmas because it's July...

I don't know anyone who still has a roast every Sunday. We do one maybe every 6 weeks or so. I have no Christmas plans yet either, and none of my friends or family have mentioned it. That will be sorted sometime in October usually.

There was no need for your bf to be so rude to you though. He sounds like a dick!

I always start Christmas shopping early, not because of cost but because I hate shopping at busy times, and I panic about not being organised. So I have a few gifts already. And I love a Sunday roast and def have a roast once a week but sometimes if we're busy it's on a different day. My husband would rather have salad in the summer and doesn't think about Christmas until December!!

True. In laws (in Spain) made some vague murmurings about coming over for Christmas the other day.

I usually start at the beginning of July by asking what's the plan and tickets are bought by the end of August latest. The prices get extortionate after.

Bit early for Christmas plans unless you are the sort of family where it's exactly the same every single year so nothing exciting and nobody needs to ask - this describes us exactly.

Sunday roast - haven't done ever as it's so tedious. Neither has my DM.

Also a lot of people work on Sundays so aren't going to cook it/have a family gathering lifetime in healthcare

This sounds like my childhood on the 70s abd 80s 😂😂😂

Are you from Norfolk OP? My mum and aunts have already started on about Christmas.

I love sunday roast, but only if someone else makes it all. Mind you, I like eating. Did you feel insulted by your zany, hip, cool, with-it partner's remarks, OP?

Love a Sunday roast. Unfortunately, if we indulged on a regular basis we’d probably sleep every Sunday afternoon away. Find that much food in the middle of the day is soporific

YANBU. I have a large family, as does my husband, and we like to entertain friends in the Christmas period. If you don’t start getting the bare bones organised early it just gets stressful. We don’t do any detailed planning this early, but we start to get a broad indication of where we will be and what guests we will have.

We don’t have a roast every Sunday but we usually have a family lunch of some kind, unless other plans have intervened.

There’s obviously no harm at all in doing things differently, but your boyfriend is rude to call you odd and backwards.

I think it’s quite odd to plan an entire day of the weekend, every weekend, around cooking your lunch, yes. I don’t know anyone who has a regular Sunday lunch - once every few weeks friends and I will go out for one usually as part of a trip or outing but the lunch isn’t the focal point.

And I don’t know what I’ll be doing at Christmas because the plan was to be flying out to Detroit to spend it with DP’s family and that may not go ahead.

I love a Sunday roast but certainly not every week, and certainly not as lunch each time because it cuts into the day.

Christmas - well, if you were planning to spend it away/ overseas then you might plan that now, and e.g. If you have elederly relatives I'd be telling other relatives that you weren't going to be around in the hope they'd take Auntie Ethel.
Otherwise planning Christmas in July sounds scarily premature.

On the Sunday lunch Yanbu, we have one most Sundays.

On Christmas you’re being deeply unreasonable. It’s 5 months away!

We don't have our roast in the afternoon - always the evening otherwise it breaks the day up too much.

We have roast most sundays in the winter but not in the summer. Bit early for Christmas and I love Christmas! Wait until September at least!

Is he always so condescending about your background?

The earliest we consider thinking about Christmas is September and that’s only because we have overseas relatives who try to force themselves over.

Sunday lunch was a real family ritual growing up in the 80s and 90s but by the time I was a teenager it had fizzled out and a lot of my friends had never done it. I might have a “gravy” dinner but nothing major.

One lady I know in her 70s is forced to make a Sunday Roast every week for all of her adult children and their spouses in their 30s and 40s, her grandchildren, some in laws and she hates it and is really resentful about it. But the younger generation say “it’s tradition” yet never offer to do it, never offer to help, just come round, laze around the house, stuff their faces and basically act like it’s Christmas Day every Sunday. She’s loved not doing it during the lockdown and having nice quiet Sundays with her husband but they’ve pressured her to start up again.

I think times have changed. Elaborate Sunday Roasts were fine when both couples weren’t working, when working hours weren’t as varied, and childcare wasn’t as much of a struggle, when families all grew up in the same town and when people weren’t as aware of different dietary needs and preferences. Now it just seems like a lot of faff and pressure. People need to rest. Pressure to host a Roast Dinner every week, spending Sunday slaving in the kitchen, forced socialisation when everyone is knackered doesn’t work for a lot of people these days.

I still think it’s a lovely ritual for once a month or every six weeks or whatever, especially if shared but weekly Roasts and trying to organise Christmas now is a lot of pressure that I’d not appreciate.

@NC10101

It seems way to early to be thinking about Christmas - let people enjoy summer first! September/October think about Christmas plans, sure.

As for the Sunday lunch, sorry but to me people who always have a ‘roast’ on Sunday, to me, have always been lower-class/‘chavvy’ (sorry to use that term)

Grim.

We have a roast maybe 6-8 times a year including Christmas, which I have not started planning yet. Sometimes we go away for Christmas and those years I'd probably have the flights booked by September. But presents and all that, just no. Not until November / December.

We have a Sunday meal as a family every week - usually in the early evening unless it's a special occasion like Easter Sunday when we would do a lunch. In the autumn/winter it is a roast but in summer something else. It's a nice tradition.
I start Christmas shopping in around October but we would not finalise Christmas plans until I have done the work rotas (healthcare) which usually happens October.

I think both ways are common.

I read a lot on here about Sunday lunch so I know it's commonly done.
I don't know anyone personally who does a roast every Sunday. We have one every few months.

Re Christmas, again, I know that there are people who sort out who's going where next Christmas while they're all together at this one!
I don't. I'm not that organised. I just have an open house. Come if you want, just let me know so I cook enough food to feed 40 and send you all home with enough leftovers to last you till Easter. Seriously. I have a problem. Family now shows up with bags full of empty Tupperware because they know I'll be sending them home groaning with food 😂

In short - there's no right or wrong. There's just what works for those involved.

The only people I know who have a regular Sunday roast live in London, is this what he meant by a 'backward part of the country'?
I'm from Scotland and had never heard of 'Sunday' roasts until I moved to England. I love them but I have one any day I want, they're far too nice to just have on Sundays.