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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To worry when 10yr DD went for an early run alone

574 replies

BelleBoyd · 27/07/2020 08:02

My DD woke me early this morning saying she was going for a run and left. She kept to our road and was back in half hour. Is this ok? Just seems unusual behaviour? She hasn’t done this before and doesn’t run usually as a sport.

OP posts:
CrowdedHouseinQuarantine · 27/07/2020 10:24

can you find her age appropriate online exercises.?
joe wicks?
yoga?
pilates?

BringMeTea · 27/07/2020 10:25

No wonder there's an obesity crisis. This thread!

Ringsender2 · 27/07/2020 10:27

My DD 11yr did this a couple of months back but at about 6.00am! Unlucky for her I was up and working at the dining table so she didn't get out the door. She just woke up, it was beautiful, she had bags of energy and wanted to seize the day, nothing more, nothing less. Of course, I didn't let her and explained why. My DD sounds like yours OP. Fizzing with energy and quite impetuous. Gorgeous,but needing a bit of redirection now and then.

Original poster
BelleBoyd · 27/07/2020 10:27

She said she’d be only up and down our street, and she said she’d be 20 or 40 minutes. She was about 25mins in the end. She said when talking about it after I hadn’t said no she can’t go so she had ‘asked‘ my permission...
Just to clear those points up

OP posts:
Chanjer · 27/07/2020 10:29

Of course, I didn't let her and explained why.

Grin
theDudesmummy · 27/07/2020 10:29

My 10 year old DS, who is autistic, has started taking part in all kinds of excercise apps and online challenges during lockdown. Some of these include running a certain distance, cycling, workouts etc. I think it is great, and I have been roped in to participate at times, but often he does them on his own. He does not necessarily tell me the details of every one. OK, so he would not be allowed to go out of our garden on his own, but maybe the DD here is doing something similar, a "lockdown running challenge" or whatever?

pjmask · 27/07/2020 10:30

I find these responses frightening. Yes the situation sounds odd, and should be explored, and she also needs to ask not tell. But the hysteria about a ten year old out alone, really?

Im confused why you didn’t stop your 10 year old going for a run alone? I have a 4yo so a while away but 10 seems too young to be out alone?

And many posters agree. We are talking about a child about to embark on secondary education, who should be learning life skills and independence. Entirely appropriate to be out of the house alone, at agreed times of course and reasonably close to home. My DC we're getting the bus three miles to school at that age. No wonder we are raising a generation of young people who lack even the most basic independence!

ohthegoodtimes · 27/07/2020 10:32

I'm quite surprised by the responses on this, you constantly hear about kids being stuck to computer games and then a sporty active child says "I want to go for a run" and they are hung drawn and quartered. Op my dd is 9 she does dancing and enjoys sport but I wouldn't say she's the fittest, in the last few weeks she's been going out for a run with her dad and if we lived in a street where it would be suitable to run then I would happily let her (in the street) but our street isn't suitable.

winterisstillcoming · 27/07/2020 10:32

My 10 year old is constantly wanting to go out on the garden and play football. I think it's where he finds his solitude.

If all she was doing is running up and down the street then it's fine.

She did all the right things, she told you where she was going and kept within reasonable distance.

I would praise her for this but say next time wait for you to actually give permission. You may be concerned it's bin day, or next door have builders in etc.

They're at an age where they are ready for some independence.

Staplemaple · 27/07/2020 10:35

It depends where you live I think, as sad as that sounds. If she genuinely just wanted to go for a run and there's nothing else in it, can you maybe say you will go with her tomorrow if you're not happy with it? Unless you have concerns that she was actually doing something else, or that it's because she's developing an unhealthy relationship with exercise (nothing to suggest that's the case with this) then it sounds positive.

JRUIN · 27/07/2020 10:35

can you find her age appropriate online exercises.?
joe wicks?
yoga?
pilates?

Running is appropriate for a 10yr old. How about allowing your kids a wee bit of freedom and let them get some air into the lungs instead of plonking the poor things in front of a screen all the time.

ineedaholidaynow · 27/07/2020 10:36

The OP didn’t know where her DD was going and it is something out of character, so yes it is something that might make her question what she is doing.

DH still tells me where he is going if he goes out for a run and it involves going out in the country lanes near us.

I think at the DD’s age it is good to get her into the habit to let you know where she is going. You can do the same if you are going out and leaving her on her own.

For the PP saying people are getting hysterical about drugs, unfortunately drugs and young people are getting to be a real problem. We live in a quiet rural town surrounded by villages and no major cities near us and we have a problem with County Lines. My Primary teacher friends have had to have a training session on drugs, not just to tick a box but because they have had issues with pupils with drugs. On the face of it looking where we live you wouldn’t think drug dealers would be targeting the children but they are.

Raimona · 27/07/2020 10:36

What makes 7:30 a.m. any more dangerous than 11a.m.?
There are more people around at 11am. More witnesses if you’re attacked. More people around to intervene. Most attacks happen in isolated places at night or in the early morning when nobody is around.

What about when you have to go to work?
I go in my own car. Prior to having a car, when I used to get the bus it was more like 8am and other people were around. If I had to go out particularly early I carried a pepper spray. Also OP didn’t say what time her DD went out, it could have been 6am or something.

vitals · 27/07/2020 10:37

@BelleBoyd

She said she’d be only up and down our street, and she said she’d be 20 or 40 minutes. She was about 25mins in the end. She said when talking about it after I hadn’t said no she can’t go so she had ‘asked‘ my permission... Just to clear those points up
That's good. In your OP you asked "is this OK?". What do you mean then? Is it OK that a 10 year old wants to do some running? Of course it is.
Fudgefeet · 27/07/2020 10:38

My dd (12) is very sporty and we always run together. She has sometimes asked if she can go for a quick walk around the block alone for some fresh air. It nearly always coincides with me finding lots of empty sweet wrappers under her bed.

newyearnoeu · 27/07/2020 10:38

@rhine just out of interest how many of the 67million people in the UK did you survey before establishing before being confident enough to assert what time "most people" get up in the morning?

Op if she's going to keep to the early running I would get her a cheap fit tracker you can link to your phone so you can check where she is

Staplemaple · 27/07/2020 10:39

It nearly always coincides with me finding lots of empty sweet wrappers under her bed.

Does she feel she has to exercise to work off the sweets? That's not neccessarily a healthy mindset.

SVRT19674 · 27/07/2020 10:40

No 10 year old of mine will be leaving on her own to go running or otherwise. I think it is really odd. and you are being too passive. YOU are the adult responsible. Lock the door if necessary.

CallarMorvern · 27/07/2020 10:40

Mine used to do the same from age 10 to 12, she was just an early riser and needed to burn off some energy. Be grateful, mine is now 15 and even getting her out for a walk is a challenge. At that age they need to be building up their independence in preparation for high school. I can't believe some of the replies on here.

cariadlet · 27/07/2020 10:42

Some really hysterical posters on here today. It's not out of character to suddenly start running if you're a sporty child who needs to be active but just haven't gone for a run before.

7.30 isn't early for a preteen. They don't always do the really early toddler mornings but haven't yet hit the stay in bed half the day teenage years.

It sounds like the op's daughter was in a safe area, at a safe time of day, doing something healthy and trying to be independent. She just needed a reminder about asking rather than telling, and a little chat about staying safe.

TinySleepThief · 27/07/2020 10:44

@BelleBoyd

She said she’d be only up and down our street, and she said she’d be 20 or 40 minutes. She was about 25mins in the end. She said when talking about it after I hadn’t said no she can’t go so she had ‘asked‘ my permission... Just to clear those points up
Im confused as to what you are asking is ok?

I had presumed you wanted to know if it was ok behaviour to basically leave the house having only told you she was going for a run and that you should be up to let her back in. But if she told you where she was going and how long she would be then im not sure what she did wrong other than not getting implicit verbal permission or stopping when you asked her to wait?

Sally872 · 27/07/2020 10:45

Given you know she was actually running I wouldn't worry.

My 10 year old dd went through a very brief phase during lock down. She knew sports were coming back soon and had lost some fitness.

She mentioned it a few times and went out early a couple of times then realised running isn't for her. I was impressed she was taking a lead on keeping fit. Now children are playing out again (Scotland) and she gets lots of fresh air it hasn't come up, I think she was bored and had a bit of cabin fever.

JRUIN · 27/07/2020 10:47

So glad I and my kids were never made to feel like prisoners in our home due to neurotic parenting.

Tootletum · 27/07/2020 10:47

Got to love mumsnet. 7 pages of parenting judgement and speculation about very unlikely scenarios.

my2bundles · 27/07/2020 10:49

I have no issue with a 10 year old going for a run, I know 10 year olds can go out on their own to see a friend, pop to shop etc. What I have issue with is a 10 year old announcing they are going, then going. No, a 10 year old should ask permission, discuss their plan then wait for the parent to either agree or say no.

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