Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To worry when 10yr DD went for an early run alone

574 replies

BelleBoyd · 27/07/2020 08:02

My DD woke me early this morning saying she was going for a run and left. She kept to our road and was back in half hour. Is this ok? Just seems unusual behaviour? She hasn’t done this before and doesn’t run usually as a sport.

OP posts:
RigaBalsam · 27/07/2020 09:49

@Rhine

Still fast asleep at 7.30am OP, really? That’s late for most people on a weekday.

Seems a pretty lame excuse for not getting up to see what she was doing.

Is it? I got up at 9.10 today. Oh will be up at lunch time. Agree she should ask you though but if you could see her its all ok.
IdblowJonSnow · 27/07/2020 09:50

I agree, a lot of hysteria on this thread. Just explain you need to know which way she's going and how long she'll be etc.

Didnt wake up til 9 which is quite early here! Grin

Herja · 27/07/2020 09:51

My DS likes to run in the morning. He's just 8 though, so runs around the open plan downstairs in circuits while day dreaming. Normally for about half an hour. I can definitely see him going for early runs as he gets older. I think that the run, I wouldn't mind at all about if on your road, I'd expect to be woken properly though and asked, not just told what was happening.

Ihaventgottimeforthis · 27/07/2020 09:53

my god this thread. People thinking it's more likely she is off to deal drugs than just go out for a jog.

Good for her OP, if she wants to make it a regular thing, just a chat about safety will do, as I'm sure you know. Wish my DD would do it, would save me having to get up and take the dog in the rain...

BrokenBrit · 27/07/2020 09:54

Gosh when I was 10 we used to play out from dawn til dusk in the summer holidays - and I’m only in my thirties, this wasn’t a long time ago really!
Good on DD for taking exercise and getting out in the fresh air. The last few months have been hellish for us all, and children especially, separated from friends, school and activities.
I would do easy on her and maybe have a conversation later about asking you properly next time and not just walking off when you are talking.

vitals · 27/07/2020 09:58

moveandmove, the op's dd is running up and down the street they live in, and op can see her.

But the OP didn't know her DD was only going to run up and down the street before she left the house. In fact the OP only saw the DD when she was COMING BACK down the road.

loobyloo1234 · 27/07/2020 09:59

Sorry if this has been covered OP, but is she eating normally? No sign of eating less, trying to lose weight etc?

Goingprivate2020 · 27/07/2020 10:01

Big no here. My 10 year old runs with me, not alone. Even as an adult I won’t run alone in woods or on quiet paths. Parent her - don’t let her tell you what she’s doing, wrestle back control so she knows she must ask.

LonnyVonnyWilsonFrickett · 27/07/2020 10:01

I don't think this is weird or worrisome at all, mind you I'm still in bed so what does a slacker like me know?

OP I would speak to her about safety, by which I mean letting her know if she wants to run she needs to tell you in advance where and when she's going. For me, running is just another form of 'out' so whatever rules you would normally have around her going out alone count in this situation.

But I don't think it's sinister, I think she's an energetic girl who fancied a run!

Raimona · 27/07/2020 10:03

I wouldn’t let her go out of sight at that time of the morning. I’m an adult and even I don’t dare go out on my own that early. It’s fine if she was running up and down the street under your supervision. But in future she needs to let you know in advance so you can supervise.

anon5000 · 27/07/2020 10:05

@Goingprivate2020

Big no here. My 10 year old runs with me, not alone. Even as an adult I won’t run alone in woods or on quiet paths. Parent her - don’t let her tell you what she’s doing, wrestle back control so she knows she must ask.
I'd say letting a 10 year old have a bit of independence to run up and down her own street is parenting her.
coldwarenigma · 27/07/2020 10:06

Dear god, the hysteria! Ok maybe she should have hung on till mum was up but honestly for 99.99% of the country the kid was fine running up and down her road during daylight. Kids need to learn to assess risk, poor kids have so little expected of them these days.

OP in your position I would just have a chat about waiting till you were properly awake before going out.

I remember as a kid getting home from school and announcing I was taking up running, putting shorts and a t shirt on and going out...it lasted less than a week!
At that age I was out on a bike or walks all day, taking a picnic with me on my own too.
Before someone howls, child abduction etc is no more prevalent now than then. Only difference would be the amount of traffic and depending on where you live that's something that kids need to learn to deal with before secondary school age. Up and down your own road is as good a place to start as any.

BrokenBrit · 27/07/2020 10:08

@Raimona

I wouldn’t let her go out of sight at that time of the morning. I’m an adult and even I don’t dare go out on my own that early. It’s fine if she was running up and down the street under your supervision. But in future she needs to let you know in advance so you can supervise.
Why don’t you go out at 7am on a summers day when it’s been light for hours? What on earth is more dangerous about it than going out at 10am? I’m not being bitchy I just don’t understand that at all and I’ve lived in all sorts of places from ‘rough’ towns to very remote and never worried about getting up and out of the house in a morning.
anon5000 · 27/07/2020 10:08

@Raimona

I wouldn’t let her go out of sight at that time of the morning. I’m an adult and even I don’t dare go out on my own that early. It’s fine if she was running up and down the street under your supervision. But in future she needs to let you know in advance so you can supervise.
You daren't go out on your own in the early morning? Do you go to work?
TinySleepThief · 27/07/2020 10:10

I'd say letting a 10 year old have a bit of independence to run up and down her own street is parenting her.

Thr trouble is the OP didn't actually know where she was going, or that she would be only running up and down the street. She didn't know how long she would be out for, if she was running alone or have any way to get in touch with her whilst she was out on the run. The DD simply told her she was going out and that the OP had to let her back in later. The way the OP worded it to me sounds like the daughter dictated what was happening and there was no discussion and even though the OP said to wait a minute the daughter left anyway.

lazylinguist · 27/07/2020 10:13

Some very OTT responses here! Is it really so surprising for a very sporty 10yo who is missing her usual forms of exercise to wake up one morning and get the urge to run? I mean... my dd wouldn't do it, but she hates exercise!

All that's needed here is a little chat about safety, take a phone with you, stay close to the house, always tell me exactly where you're going etc.

As for people saying the dd is 'bolshie' Confused She just said what she was going to do. Is it really so odd for a sensible 10yo to say "Mum I'm going to the park/out on my bike/to call on my friend!"(as long as these are nearby, not across any main roads etc)?

Iwalkinmyclothing · 27/07/2020 10:13

I wouldn’t let her go out of sight at that time of the morning. I’m an adult and even I don’t dare go out on my own that early.

What about when you have to go to work?

JRUIN · 27/07/2020 10:14

I don't see the problem at all. It's not like she even snuck out of the house but very sensibly woke you to let you know where she was going. I feel sorry for kids these days, they can't do right for doing wrong it seems.

MrsWombat · 27/07/2020 10:15

The very fact you are posting on here shows that this is out of character for her. Only you know if she often does wacky stuff like this, and if she doesn't then it wouldn't be wrong to wonder about grooming (does she have any social media/WhatsApp/Roblox?) or body issues. Keep a close eye on her and don't rule anything out.

By the way, you seeing her running back doesn't mean anything. If she is being groomed (unlikely but still possible) she might have been encouraged to start a regular running hobby to make it seem normal for her to leave the house and they will contact her another time when you are off your guard.

Or she could just as easily be picking up on the obesity/covid-19 link on the news and be worried about that?

lazylinguist · 27/07/2020 10:16

I wouldn’t let her go out of sight at that time of the morning. I’m an adult and even I don’t dare go out on my own that early.

If it were dark maybe, but it's the middle of summer! Confused What makes 7:30 a.m. any more dangerous than 11a.m.? Genuinely baffled at the thought of an adult not daring to go out of their housebecause it's (a bit) early in the morning.

AudacityOfHope · 27/07/2020 10:19

@Raimona

I wouldn’t let her go out of sight at that time of the morning. I’m an adult and even I don’t dare go out on my own that early. It’s fine if she was running up and down the street under your supervision. But in future she needs to let you know in advance so you can supervise.
I find it more disturbing that a grown woman doesn't 'dare' to leave her own home before 8am to be honest, than that a 10 year old girl does.
Chanjer · 27/07/2020 10:19

Gosh when I was 10 we used to play out from dawn til dusk in the summer holidays - and I’m only in my thirties, this wasn’t a long time ago really!

Still the reality for many, just not amongst the MN demographic.

Otherwise there's loads of actual feral children living in my area Grin

ScrapThatThen · 27/07/2020 10:20

OP, to help anxiety in healthy ways, give her lots of your time, time with family members, time in nature and plan some little things to look forward to. Model being positive about the future and making the best of a tough situation. I think your dd just had a lovely idea to go for a morning run and I think that's lovely independence and good on her. Ask how she enjoyed it and say what a lovely idea. But if anxiety is in the picture I would up my alert level slightly and keep an overview of how ok she is. I think all our dc will be learning to manage anxiety and uncertainty at the moment.

TinySleepThief · 27/07/2020 10:21

As for people saying the dd is 'bolshie' confused She just said what she was going to do. Is it really so odd for a sensible 10yo to say "Mum I'm going to the park/out on my bike/to call on my friend!"(as long as these are nearby, not across any main roads etc)?

Its not odd for a child to say they are doing those things during the day. My bolshie comment was in relation to her saying im doing this now 'going for a run' and you will let me back in once I'm done. It was the way the OP wrote it that suggested she was dictating what's happening and it is not a way a child should talk to their parent. The fact she also woke the OP and didn't stop when she asked her to wait is also quite rude in my opinion and suggests she knew her mum wouldn't be happy about what she was doing.

upsidedownwavylegs · 27/07/2020 10:22

@Raimona

I wouldn’t let her go out of sight at that time of the morning. I’m an adult and even I don’t dare go out on my own that early. It’s fine if she was running up and down the street under your supervision. But in future she needs to let you know in advance so you can supervise.
Wtf Grin
Swipe left for the next trending thread