To worry when 10yr DD went for an early run alone

[BelleBoyd]

My DD woke me early this morning saying she was going for a run and left. She kept to our road and was back in half hour. Is this ok? Just seems unusual behaviour? She hasn’t done this before and doesn’t run usually as a sport.

No, it's not OK.
I don't think she should be just announcing she's going out, unless it's something you have an agreement about e.g. popping to the local shop.

A lone runner, especially a female, is vulnerable.

You know now that she kept to your road, but you didn't know that when she left.

I'm a nearly 50 year old experienced lone runner and I always make sure someone knows the route I'm taking and how long I expect to be.

Did she take a phone?

Now is the time to start setting the rules for what is expected of her when she goes out.

I think it depends on the child. My 13yo would do this, my 9yo wouldn’t. And in fact, my 9yo is more sensible on roads etc due to their nature.

I haven’t got a ten year old, but I think the fact that she feels she can dictate her own movements outside the seems a bit odd. I would expect her to ask if she can go for an early morning run on her own and then wait for you to give permission.

*outside the house

I think you need to have a chat and nip this in the bud. Running is ok. Leaving the house without an adult do early without prearrangement is not ok. Putting you on the spot is not ok. Telling not asking is it ok.

God posters so suspicious and nagative your poor kids 🙄. My dd similar age fancied going on a run she wasn’t planning a drug deal or meeting an older man. Think some people have been reading too many silly novels

@MsTSwift

My 11 year old has done this too. Don’t see the problem - good for them

You let your 11 year old wake you up, tell you what hes doing, rather than ask if its ok and dictate to you that you will then let him back in the house when he's finished.

The run itself wouldn't be a major concern if it was normal behaviour but in this instance its not and the OPs daughters behavior is quite bolshy and very entitled.

It’s Monday morning everyone tries new things on a Monday, ‘diet starts Monday’ ‘I’m gonna start running Monday’ ‘new week, new me’. Sorry I think it completely fits with how we work.

I think that as a child I did have one or two out-of-the-blue early morning sessions like that. Bike ride or walk probably, rather than running. I remember how great and solitary and autonomous it felt, how sensitive I was then (compared with now) to the early-morning'feel' of the world.

So to me it sounds kind of positive and lovely that she has done this. Unless of course you have any reason to believe that her state of mnd was not good when she made htis decision. In particular it did cross my mind that she might have worries about diet and weight, and the sudden impulse to exercise might have been an expression of that. But unless there are other signs of a preoccupation with weight, I'd be hopeful that her outing was something lovely and life-affirming.

Not to worry you OP but could this be the start of an eating disorder? Exercising away the calories etc? I had a family member who did this, she went from nothing to suddenly running very early or late at night. I remember I was driving home from a dinner party one night and saw her slipping out for a run at midnight. She was 12 at the time.

Sadly she’s in her 20s now and has never recovered (and probably never will now).

I’m a runner and I’d say unless you have run with family or you do running at school, suddenly running at 10 years old seems a bit odd to me. It’s more of an ‘adult’ thing if you get my meaning?

Still fast asleep at 7.30am OP, really? That’s late for most people on a weekday.

There’s always 1 isn’t there?

Baffled by the hysteria tbh. Just talk to her about why etc. 10 isn’t too young to go out alone 🙄. There are children who are currently 10 who are going to secondary school in September. In fact it is 1 in 12 🤷🏻‍♀️.

My dd is 11 and would do this.

Its fine if she is just thinking she'll start a running habit, and if she does that sensibly (ie does it twice and then gives up like most of us). But keep a careful eye out for low self esteem, worry about weight shape or eating, and parentally supervise her internet history. The pandemic lockdown will trigger eating disorders for young people prone to seeking achievement, control and certainty.

I’m a nearly 50 year old experienced lone runner and I always make sure someone knows the route I'm taking and how long I expect to be.

This too! I share my location on google maps with DH when I go running early in the morning when there is likely to be fewer people about.

I really don’t see the problem. We probably just woke early and fancied moving, she clearly did just go running. Do no-one else’s children say, I’m going out to the street and just leave at that age? She’s ten yo, not ten months!

the OPs daughters behavior is quite bolshy and very entitled

Most 10 year olds at some point are bolshy and entitled. It is a bit of a separate and less worrying point than the child’s safety.

Why do people on here always think the worst of children? I don't think for one minute she was meeting someone and @BelleBoyd would know if she'd been lying about going running because she wouldn't have come back hot and sweaty if she'd gone for a jolly round someone's house.

A sporty, independent pre-teen went for a run in her own street in daylight hours? I can't see the problem although I'd be talking to her about prior planning and preparation and ensuring she had permission before she went on her next one.

It does seem suspicious, the way to was done, Daughter would realise you would be drowsy after waking you up, and that is such a suspicious thing to have done..
A normal reaction on her part would have been to say "Would it be okay if I go for a run tomorrow morning?''
The fact she dated off before you had time to think shows as others have said, prior planning and probably to meet someone.

Yes my 10 year old does this too. I go with her. I think that's great, to excerise.

Here in Guernsey, where kids can still disappear playing at breakfast and show up when they're hungry, no problem. I still know everyone on my road and a good proportion of people in my parish. Anywhere else I'd be a bit
I suppose it depends on the risks in your area, if you live in a city seems mad.

It isn’t that I was suspicious of her being ‘deceitful’ or that I thought her being ‘entitled’ It’s just I thought it unusual and tbh more to do with anxiety. She finds it difficult to be calm and often has an excess of energy. Hence she does alot of sports and activities but for the last few months she hasn’t be able to do so much.
Anyway didn’t expect so many sinister answers so will leave this now.

Does she have a phone? I check my dd’s a lot and her friends quite often say they are going out for a run. Even if it’s unusual for your dd maybe she’s got the idea from a friend?
Could she have wanted to post something through someone’s letterbox?

What’s that supposed to mean Teateaandmoretea? It is late on a weekday unless you’ve been on a night shift or something, especially when you’ve got kids. Who’s supervising them when the OP is ‘fast asleep’?

If she was just running up and down your street and you could see her doing it then I don't think it is an issue. She probably got up full of energy and felt like getting moving. This is to be encouraged surely?

As long as you could see her I'd say it's ok.