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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To worry when 10yr DD went for an early run alone

574 replies

BelleBoyd · 27/07/2020 08:02

My DD woke me early this morning saying she was going for a run and left. She kept to our road and was back in half hour. Is this ok? Just seems unusual behaviour? She hasn’t done this before and doesn’t run usually as a sport.

OP posts:
Greenmarmalade · 27/07/2020 10:50

TikTok/youtube’s ‘morning routines’ have a lot of early morning exercise (and ridiculous smoothies), so this could be a factor.

It’s a good time to set your boundaries about arranging to go out alone.

Other than that, what a brilliant thing to do! Mine would do similar things, and would text their friends to do it at the same time, even if not together.

Nicknacky · 27/07/2020 10:51

This thread has probably some of the most OTT responses I have ever read on Mumsnet and that is saying something.

People have such low , low opinions of their children if they think they are out drug dealing if they leave the house early at a young age.

And it’s incredibly rare that runners are attacked by strangers, even if they do go out at 7.30am!

SockYarn · 27/07/2020 10:52

Jeezo, the child was out FOR A RUN.

Yes she probably should have mentioned it yesterday, or at least at a time when the adult in charge wasn't asleep. Yes it's impulsive but she's 10. She is a child with impulses and when she gets something into her head it has to happen right away - we all know kids like that.

I'd hate to live inside some of your heads where everything is grooming, drug running, crime and sexual exploitation.

Greenmarmalade · 27/07/2020 10:53

Of course, I didn't let her and explained why
Why wouldn’t you let an 11 year old run at 6am?

HollowTalk · 27/07/2020 10:53

@TinySleepThief

I was fast asleep and she said I’m going running and let me back in later. I said hang on wait a minute and was a bit in waking up mode..and then she was out the door.

I just don't understand why you think shes gone for a run, the fact she left so quickly shows she was being deceitful and I'm staggered she thinks this is acceptable behaviour. She is 10 years old, you're her parent she doesn't get to tell you what do do 'let me back in later'

Why on earth is it deceitful? Sometimes a run is just a run.
anon5000 · 27/07/2020 10:54

What about when you have to go to work?
I go in my own car. Prior to having a car, when I used to get the bus it was more like 8am and other people were around. If I had to go out particularly early I carried a pepper spray. Also OP didn’t say what time her DD went out, it could have been 6am or something

I have to leave my house and just after 7am to catch the bus to work. That bus is also full of school children, some not much older than the OPs DD who presumably walked to the bus stop without mummy holding their hands.

Flowers009 · 27/07/2020 10:55

Only if she sticks to your road I would be okay with this

imaflutteringkite · 27/07/2020 10:57

I see two separate issues here, firstly it's surprising that your ten year old tells you what she's doing rather than asking. The second issue is whether or not you could see her, if she went out and disappeared id be worried she was meeting someone or something. If she's running up and down the street where you can see her then that's fine but I'd possibly be thinking along the lines of why she feels she has to go out running, obviously that might be totally fine but an eating disorder or anxiety would be in the back of my mind for one of my DC

Spanishmama0114 · 27/07/2020 10:57

This is one of the most bonkers threads I've ever seen. A 10 year old running up and down their own street where her mum can see her and Mumsnet conclude she's up to something dodgy.
And as for the op getting called up for still being in bed at 7.30 during the school holidays is frankly bizarre.

Nicknacky · 27/07/2020 10:58

Raimona I presume you aren’t in the UK if you are carrying pepper spray? Maybe that skews your opinion.

my2bundles · 27/07/2020 10:58

Sock yarn yes kids have impulses and want to do things straight away. That does not give them free Rein to do whatever they want. If you take this attirude at 10 you end up with teenagers who don't listen. Yes kids like to do what they want, they also need parents to set boundaries and explain actually no you carnt always do what you want and that includes needing to ask permission to leave the house

anon5000 · 27/07/2020 11:01

@Spanishmama0114

This is one of the most bonkers threads I've ever seen. A 10 year old running up and down their own street where her mum can see her and Mumsnet conclude she's up to something dodgy. And as for the op getting called up for still being in bed at 7.30 during the school holidays is frankly bizarre.
It needs to go into Classics as peak mumsnet madness. 😂
TinySleepThief · 27/07/2020 11:01

Why on earth is it deceitful? Sometimes a run is just a run.

I said I thought it was deceitful because of the way she told the OP what she was doing, the time she left the house and the fact the OP said she isn't into running. It seemed odd that the first time she chose to go for a run would be under those circumstances.

The OP has since clarified she stayed on the street, she has anxiety and therefore it seems more logical it was just an innocent spur of the moment run.

HollowTalk · 27/07/2020 11:01

@Nicknacky

This thread has probably some of the most OTT responses I have ever read on Mumsnet and that is saying something.

People have such low , low opinions of their children if they think they are out drug dealing if they leave the house early at a young age.

And it’s incredibly rare that runners are attacked by strangers, even if they do go out at 7.30am!

I know, they live in a world of ten year old drug runners who are selling their drugs at 7 am on their own street...
Nicknacky · 27/07/2020 11:02

HollowTalk......whilst disguised as a runner.

stoneysongs · 27/07/2020 11:03

she might have been encouraged to start a regular running hobby to make it seem normal for her to leave the house and they will contact her another time when you are off your guard

Quite a few posts to choose from here but this is my vote for most ridiculous. Be glad OP that she is interested in keeping fit and independent and confident enough to take responsibility for her own health. Fingers crossed it continues (although it didn't for my teens who spend most of their time lazing around despite my encouragement)

WhatAWonderfulDay · 27/07/2020 11:03

Running is fine. It's bright at 7:30 - she wouldn't have thought anything of it. Specially if she'd been up for a while. Maybe just ask her to wait till you are properly awake.

(and I'm asleep till 8:30 nowadays with no commute and Netflix till late at night. Kids all get their own breakfast. I am enjoying my lie-ins after 18 years of 5:30 wake-ups!! Nothing wrong with that either.)

midnightstar66 · 27/07/2020 11:03

My dd is 10. She'll tell me she's meeting a friend for a picnic walk or for a cycle. She'll shout to me and tell me she's taking the puppy out. She gets herself up while the rest of us are still in bed and walks to running club and cheerleading club before school in normal times. In the circumstances it sounds like the timing is a bit odd but I can see how she might have been lying there feeling bored and got a notion to go for a run. She was sensible enough to stay in the street. Maybe something to keep an eye on incase she's worrying about weight but there's a lot of people getting a bit hysterical. As for the pp that was aghast at being in bed at 7.30 - I had to drag dd7 up at 8 today to go and drop the car at the garage - usually we'd have all been in bed. Dd10 stayed in bed. Not everyone is up at dawn in the holidays.

campion · 27/07/2020 11:03

@imaflutteringkite
I'd possibly be thinking along the lines of why she feels she has to go out running, obviously that might be totally fine but an eating disorder or anxiety would be in the back of my mind for one of my DC

Is her attitude to food and her appetite the same as usual? She may have picked up an idea that exercise = burning calories.

MiniMum97 · 27/07/2020 11:04

@BelleBoyd

It was 7am and am usually up before this time on school days. Although a bit uncomfortable feeling I have to justify that.
You do not have to justify it at all. I've never heard something so ridiculous as being judgmental at someone for still being in bed at 7,30 ffs.
smokescreen · 27/07/2020 11:05

You say you watched her and she didn't meet up with anyone and she's quite sporty anyway so no real concerns there. The only red flag FOR ME would be my 10yo not asking permission to leave the house and telling, not asking as pps have said. But again you say she's pretty independent so maybe you encourage that in your family.

A quick chat to make sure all's well and make sure she understands she can't stray from agreed route

ineedaholidaynow · 27/07/2020 11:05

If the OP had clarified at the start that her DD had told her where she was going she might not have had many of the answers she had. DD going out before anyone is up and not saying where she is going is very different to a DD saying I am only going to be running up and down the road so you can see me.

SockYarn · 27/07/2020 11:05

I agree, @my2bundles. But she did ask - she said to her mum she was going for a run. She is only 10 and doesn't have the forethought to consider whether that's the correct way to do the asking.

There's nothing wrong with OP having a quick chat saying that going for a run is absolutely fine, but she;d be happier if DD waited until she was up and about, and let her know the route. What is wrong is the assumption that the DD is off dealing drugs or engaging in underage sex.

And I have teenagers - they're not locked up either but I do expect to know where they're going and when they'll be back. Common courtesy. Although as it's the school holidays it will be a cold day in hell before either of them are up running before about 2pm.

jessstan2 · 27/07/2020 11:06

I wouldn't be worried if there were plenty of people about, and people are going out more now, but wouldn't be happy for her to run in lonely, isolated places.

sadie9 · 27/07/2020 11:07

She may just be experimenting with it. Maybe someone else said they go for an early morning run and she decided to try it. She may never mention it again or she may do it a few times and then stop. I would wait and do nothing for now.
If it's unusual behaviour for your DD then of course you will be wondering about that. I don't see why people should be tell you off for posting! I would have posted if it was my DD.

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