Page 20 | To worry when 10yr DD went for an early run alone

Mistressiggi · 28/07/2020 00:21

I'm on a fb women's running group and I know a lot of women get abuse when out running - not men making physical contact (usually) but arseholes shouting abusive remarks at them. I also know as a teacher that teenage girls get sexual comments shouted at them despite their age being obvious. For these reasons I would wonder if my dd would be up for dealing with sexism alone at that age and would be a bit reluctant. I would certainly have liked to talk through a good route (I know some near me I would not feel comfortable running on except during busier times of day) rather than having it sprung on me while I was half asleep.

stoneysongs · 28/07/2020 00:47

I love that Bates managed to drop in that her DC does sport "at county level", classic mumsnet

Ritasueandbobtoo9 · 28/07/2020 05:28

My daughter aged 8 runs up and down the street as do next doors kids. It’s good for them to burn some energy off.

MsTSwift · 28/07/2020 07:32

Having thought further I am actually aghast at this house arrest of teens. So on a normal kick about day in the summer hols what on earth do they do?

Eg today my 11 year old is walking to the local vegan cafe with a girl and boy friend for a smoothie.

My 14 year old Is cycling with a friend to another friends house along a cycle path to meet her new horse.

Dh and I both wfh. We simply aren’t able to accompany them everywhere. Yours would sit at home staring at 4 walls?! There aren’t Sports running county or otherwise. I don’t see “our way” as a parenting approach it’s living a normal life. Literally everyone I know parents this age the same

Saracen · 28/07/2020 07:46

Sounds totally fine to me, and a great way for her to deal with anxiety. I was expecting some people to say it wasn't safe, but I'm shocked by how overwhelming this consensus is.

It's daylight. She's in her own street. She's a big kid. She's getting exercise, which will do wonders for her mental health. She even told her parent where she was going.

It's no wonder there is such an epidemic of mental health problems in adolescents these days when parents don't want to let a 10yo out for a bit of exercise.

MsTSwift · 28/07/2020 07:54

We used to host international students. We had 2 15 year olds from Brazil. They were horrified when I explained they would be getting the bus to school and were free to meet friends etc. At home they were never allowed out due to crime and their fathers drove them everywhere.

They flourished during their month with us and were tearful when it was time to go home. They hated their lack of freedom at home having experienced the difference. The only nationality we host that isn’t allowed out at all are the Chinese girls and believe me they hate it.

misskick · 28/07/2020 07:54

Seems very odd if it is out of character for her normally. I would suggest that perhaps you go together in future.

ColdTattyWaitingForSummer · 28/07/2020 11:20

“Playing out” yes out in the street, generally unsupervised, from about age 5+ I found it strange when I first moved here, but it is genuinely the norm. I’m a bit ambivalent about it (as I say as a driver I’ve had to avoid them a few times) but I certainly think it’s a good thing for preteens / teens to have some freedoms. Even my conservative Christian home schooling friends allow some level of freedom at that age.

LovelyIssues · 28/07/2020 17:33

I have a nearly 9 yr old, I would feel proud but I wouldn't let him run alone etc

Susanw1985 · 28/07/2020 17:35

Why not get her a smart watch and then can track her runs? Will help with her fitness and reassure you re where she is

Luckymum82 · 28/07/2020 17:36

My daughter has being doing this since around the same age. She’s 13 now. Get her to use a run tracker if you are concerned she’s not going where she says she is. Physical activity is a good thing and It’s great you’re not having to force her to do it. Embrace it, and maybe plan to go with her next time if you can.

DreamTheMoors · 28/07/2020 18:02

@BelleBoyd

I was the same. Lot’s of nervous energy. I never walked when I could run. Running is an excellent way of draining away anxiety. As long as that’s all she’s doing, fine.

Talk to her - that’s the surest way to find out. Make sure she knows she come to you always.

Cardiffwales · 28/07/2020 18:04

No - don’t be worried. I would make sure you know where she is going before she goes. My son is ten. He goes out for runs on his own in the morning and so it sounds really normal to me! I think it’s really good she is doing this off her own back.

Pandacub7 · 28/07/2020 18:05

Wouldn’t be odd if she was with someone that you know. Like others have said, she could’ve met up with someone or is worried about her weight, especially as this isn’t usual for her. Just keep an eye on her and see if her behaviour changes.

FelicisNox · 28/07/2020 18:05

The excuses on this thread in favour make me cringe.

She's 10 and it was 7.30am.

She's not safe and she shouldn't be dictating what she does.

OP, ensure this doesn't happen again unsupervised, there's too many weirdos out there.

Vikkieb · 28/07/2020 18:05

My 10 year old girl goes running in the morning 3 to 4 times a week by herself it's part of her training! Everyone needs to stop being so judgemental on parenting and believing the worse in kids... Jeez!

Pandacub7 · 28/07/2020 18:06

I wouldn’t buy her a fitness tracker. She’s at a very influential age where she could get obsessed with calories burned etc.

sturdywiththewordyshakespear · 28/07/2020 18:07

Gosh I wish my DD would trot out the house at the crack of dawn for a run instead of rolling around like a bored slug all day. Having said that - mine is older. I'd definitely need to watch her and I'd have to agree parameters beforehand. If she's just running up and down your street and it's quiet but you know the neighbours I'm sure that's fine.

Mittens030869 · 28/07/2020 18:07

OP, ensure this doesn't happen again unsupervised, there's too many weirdos out there.

Yes there are weirdos out there. But our DC are sadly more likely to be approached by them online than when out for a run in the morning.

payens · 28/07/2020 18:08

Don't let her do it, she's too young

BambamD · 28/07/2020 18:13

@Teateaandmoretea

Still fast asleep at 7.30am OP, really? That’s late for most people on a weekday.

There’s always 1 isn’t there?

Baffled by the hysteria tbh. Just talk to her about why etc. 10 isn’t too young to go out alone 🙄. There are children who are currently 10 who are going to secondary school in September. In fact it is 1 in 12 🤷🏻‍♀️.

My dd is 11 and would do this.

Completely agree Teateaandmoretea

7:30 is early for me these days! and I work a 38 hour a week 9-5 job before you ask! Seriously does anyone have a normal routine anymore!

Anyhow I have a 10 yo that is going to High School in September. He's very independent, goes out around our village with his friends all day and comes back for his tea, just like we did at his age.

If he woke up at 7:30 and said he was going for a run, I think he had wet the bed ! He wouldn't get up at that time so it would be abit odd for him but every child is different.

I don't however think you child is drug dealing, meeting anyone or about to join a terrorist group!

shewhomustbeEbayed · 28/07/2020 18:13

If she is missing her usual activities and has suddenly decided to run do you think she feels she has put on weight / been told by someone that she has and is trying to run it off ? Any other signs of wanting to lose weight ?

Duemarch2021 · 28/07/2020 18:16

If I'm honest, I'm shocked at the people saying they are shocked at why this is a big deal! I study childhood as a degree and believe in children making decisions for themselves and being active. But this rings alarm bells. She is 10 that is very young to just randomly take herself out of the door alone in the morning out of nowhere. Im not saying 10 is too young to be out to meet a friend etc but randomly deciding to run early in the morning without speaking to you about it first is odd. I would say this is either her worrying about her weight or meeting someone. I think it is more likely that she has begun to worry about how she looks so feels the need to run. And I do also think it's odd that you didn't get up and talk with her first too.. sorry xx

Richtea1234 · 28/07/2020 18:18

@BelleBoyd

My DD woke me early this morning saying she was going for a run and left. She kept to our road and was back in half hour. Is this ok? Just seems unusual behaviour? She hasn’t done this before and doesn’t run usually as a sport.

I think some of you are off track here. I don’t think your DD is doing anything other than running. The fact she was home quickly suggests she was probably nervous being out on her own. The “out of the blue” issue is more concerning. I suspect it is more to do with weight loss or body shape. I would talk to her about it. It’s also rather worrying that she is only 10 and this has become an issue for her. Mind you, my sisters DD is 6 and asked her mum if she was fat after a classmate called her fat. Kids in school repeat what they hear at home. Running alone that young is NOT advisable. Suggest you go with her. Not to alarm you, but I saw a program recently about Madeleine McCann and one of the detectives said that men don’t set out to snatch children, but act on opportunity. Anyone could be passing through your neighbourhood.

pcl09 · 28/07/2020 18:19

If you are certain she was running alone and satisfied she was safe then no problem. Whatever her rationale, as long as you are comfortable with it, then she’s got positive intent and it’s a healthy option.

As for why the hysteria from some other posters? My blood ran cold when I read the first post. I was a very sporty child who, at 11 years old developed a sudden habit of wanting to run “on my own”... which was entirely driven by the paedophile who was 26 years older than me, grooming me and convincing me this was a viable excuse to meet him. Thankfully, I believe this is relatively rare - but a possibility so worth being conscious of and mindful that not everyone out there lives to the same standards that we do.