To worry when 10yr DD went for an early run alone

[BelleBoyd]

My DD woke me early this morning saying she was going for a run and left. She kept to our road and was back in half hour. Is this ok? Just seems unusual behaviour? She hasn’t done this before and doesn’t run usually as a sport.

Bateshotel Your poor children. Not getting to be with friends, just their cousins.

What is ‘our way’ letting adults go out?

I find it odd that your husband would look at you ‘like some of you must have two heads’. Surely he (and you) are aware that your parenting methods are not actually that common? (Please note I’m not saying your methods are wrong- just that I find it hard to believe that your husband was unaware that many other parents do things differently).

Do you think you’d have parented in the same way if you had a child with no siblings or cousins?

I'd like to know more about 'our way', Bateshotel, if you don't mind. It seems to consist of keeping everything within the family. Is it a religious ethos? Of course you don't have to say anything but we don't know you on here, you're anonymous.

Do I? Have I said that? 18 year olds aren’t children

Your poor husband seems unaware that people parent differently! 😆

Where is your circle? I’ve literally never met anyone in my life so strict on late teens, not even the super religious and strict, just no.

No way. X

I’ve never heard of this either. I see the joy my daughter gets meeting her friends, going out and being with them and I can’t imagine why I would prevent that for no good reason.

And then expect them at 18 to going into the big wide world having never really had the chance to experience it unless with a cousin.

It does sound like a cult, to be honest.

Because it’s so odd, I could totally accept people have a different view on what freedoms a ten year old should have but when you moved on to your rules for 16-18’s and it’s not right, super controlling.

Yes, sounds culty to me. Or motivated by fear. I guess I’d be interested to know what reasons you would give your child for not letting them go out with friends if they asked permission to.

There’s nothing straightforward about those rules for that age group

Bateshotel It’s better parenting than yours.

Disappointed you didn’t want to answer my questions Bates. Ach well.

That just sounds even more culty ‘remain focused in house’ what does that even mean!? As I said I’m not disagreeing about the 10 year old thing but can’t get over you enforcing such strict guidelines on what is essentially an adult at 18. Whatever you say it doesn’t change the fact that is bizarre in the extreme

That isn’t even parenting it’s control freakery

God poor kids on this thread never allowed out on their own. Yes awful things happen but they can happen in your own house. The joy my 10 year old gets from being alone in the park with her mates is priceless.

@Rhine

Still fast asleep at 7.30am OP, really? That’s late for most people on a weekday.

Seems a pretty lame excuse for not getting up to see what she was doing.

Really? I'm asleep at 7.30AM 9 days out of 10. Its not like most people are doing lengthy commutes at the moment.

Their lives are full, rich with great friendships

Surely their friendships must be very superficial if they're not actually allowed to socialise with friends?

I grew up with some girls whose families were similar to this, but it was entirely a religious thing. And of course in those families, their brothers were allowed to have friends, it was just the girls who weren't. I even know families who have home educated so that their children won't be tainted by worldliness. Their parents would say that they are happy and don't need friends because they have family, but I just feel so sorry for them, not to ever have had the sheer joy that kids get from going to a friend's house, or the first time they take their pocket money and go for an ice cream or whatever.

Gosh I worry about lots of things but I wouldn't assume this was sinister. I would assume it was something she'd seen on Tik Tok or You Tube. Does she have a phone? Or a walkie talkie? I would be making some rules about being contactable, not crossing major roads, not going to anyone's house etc,

I also don't think 7.30 is late to be asleep - at all!!