To be upset and think about ending the relationship?

[Donnat89]

So I am a mum of 2 children , I have a partner (children are not his they are from a previous relationship )

Anyway we’ve been together a few years and live together .

But I am so fed up ! He does nothing around the house literally nothing I feel like I have another child .

Now I would get this if I was a stay at home mum but I am not I work too , I’m not asking him to spring clean the house but he can’t even load his dirty dishes into the dish washer just leaves it for me to do , will see the bin over flowing and again leave me to do it , leaves rubbish laying around all the time and again I get left to do it . I have talked to him loads of times about how much this bothers me and how I would like it if he helped around the house more so he said he will pack his washing away 3 weeks his washing has sat waiting. To be packed away he hasn’t even attempted to do it

He is self employed so doesn't work everyday and many times recently I've come home from work and he's done NOTHING not a thing and has created more mess than was left that morning .

Also Friday just gone he went go karting with his friends and he said he was goin pub after this is fine by me He needs his space just like me . It got to about midnight though and I hadn’t heard from him so I tried to call he didn’t answer he then messaged me so I text back again I didn’t get a reply so I tried to call again and he refused to even answer the phone to me he didn’t come home that night or return my calls but could send messages no problem this isn’t the first time he’s acted like that either !

He appeared yesterday afternoon but went straight upstairs and I didn’t see him for the rest of the night .

This morning he’s trying to act Like nothings happened and doesn’t understand why I’m so upset apparently I’m a cunt for this and he’s stormed out again yet again not cleaning up after himself

I am so fed up it doesn’t matter how much I try to talk to him about the stuff he does that upsets me he swears to change and never does

He has good qualities and can be thoughtful etc but I’m at the point where I’m so fed up with our day to day life’s I feel Like he doesn’t listen to and doesn’t seem to care how any of this makes me feel .

I’ve told him I don’t want this relationship anymore but he thinks I’m over reacting I just don’t know what to do anymore am I over reacting ? Am I giving him too much of a hard time . I feel so deflated at the moment I don't even know if I'm right to be upset !

Sorry for the long post ! X

That sounds like a joyless slog.

Just end it. You’ll be so much happier.

I don't know why you're even asking the question. He seems a complete waste of space. Is what you get from the relationship really worth this hassle?

Sounds like a complete twat OP. Definitely end it. You will be so much happier.
As PP has said, it does also sound like he's cheating.

You deserve better.

Thanks ladies . I think that's why I feel so numb as I suspect there could be someone else .

I just feel like an idiot to be honest and tbh I have been to allow him to treat me like that

He's just made me feel as if I'm some how over reacting when I know I'm not but here I am sat here questioning myself .

You are all right though a relationship should have me feeling like this and shouldn't be this much hassle x

Haven't you wasted enough time on this loser? You should have kicked him out ages ago.

Is the house yours? I'd find a binbag, shovel in his stuff and kick him out the door.
Think you'd feel a huge weight off your shoulders if he was out of your life.

I’ve told him I don’t want this relationship anymore but he thinks I’m over reacting I just don’t know what to do anymore am I over reacting ?

Absolutely you're not overreacting. You sound quite miserable and I don't blame you.

But of course he will tell you you are. After all, if you do anything, he'll lose his cushy life where you make everything nice for him, feed him, do his washing for him, provide sex (I guess)...while he gets to live like a slob, go out when he wants for as long as he wants, do exactly what he likes and turn it on you if you dare to suggest you're not happy. He doesn't want that cushy lifestyle to end.

Don't let him convince you that you're in the wrong, that you're overreacting. Stick to your guns and do what's right for you. Which from what you've written is getting out and leaving him to it. You'll be happier.

Lazy, selfish and gaslighting you.

And you're wondering if you should stay with him? You should boot the arsehat at your earliest possible convenience.

OP don't bother digging around, just dump the disrespectful waste of space. Normally I would suggest that you tell him to pack his bags but in this case I think you should pack them yourself and leave them outside for him (assuming it's not his house/he's not on the tenancy). Otherwise you'll still be waiting for him to do this time next year. He's so dismissive and disrespectful it's probably the only way to get him to take you seriously.

I'd get rid personally, you wont miss him hes not contributing, he has no respect for you obviously. You will have less to do round the house when hes gone, you can keep it nice without him ruining it and making you feel angry about having to do everything, there are only pros to leaving him.

Get the arrogant lazy sod GONE.

Sounds like the relationship has reached a natural end OP. Tell him it over, you'll probably be a lot happier for it when he's gone.

Do not hang on for the inevitable gaslighting as it may well do wretched things to your mental health.

Look around for someone who cares for you and treats you with respect.

Does he pay towards the bills and food.

At no point in your op do you say if you love him/ are in love with him or not?

Good grief - please don't waste any more time or head space on this ridiculous idiot. Just end it now. Right now. And get rid immediately. Nothing else to say.

He is behaving like a single man and treating you like his mother.

He adds nothing to your life other than worry and stress.

Ditch the waste of space.

You don't have to persuade him you're not overreacting, if you don't want to be in the relationship any more, then it's over. Too bad if he doesn't agree!

Thanks ladies

He's not a joint tenant the house is in my name he's just down as a member of the household (I hope that makes sense )

I pay all the bills always have he does buy food shopping and tends to pay for the stuff when we go out (although I do pay for this also ) , eating out etc as I said he can be thoughtful and easy going and I don't want to sound ungrateful at all .

I do love him but I just can't live like this anymore it's making me miserable I feel Like I'm going mad and moaning about things I shouldn't .

I've always believed when in a relationship you should be a team I just feel like I'm all on my own and if I where on my own I wouldn't care I would get on with it always have done but I'm not and I know I shouldn't feel Like this

Have no idea where he ended up Friday just at his mates apparently!

Thanks for all the advice I was so scared I was gonna get lynched for sounding like an ungreatful moaning cow

You are all right and I do need to end this it's not getting any better it's not as if he doesn't know how I feel or what bothers me he just doesn't care enough to change it x

OP you should’ve enabled voting, you’d have 100% of the people on here telling you to boot him out. You’re skivvying after him like a slave and he treats you like that and calls you a cunt? You aren’t over-reacting, you’re under-reacting. Tell him to sling his hook.

He sounds awful OP, you deserve better

Of course he thinks you're over reacting, hes on a cushy number. He doesn't want to lose that.

1, He does nothing for you.
2, you're fed up with him
3, hes not interesting in changing to saving the relationship

I think its very disrespectful of him to not take your feelings about the relationship into consideration. You need to think on that.

What do you love about him OP? I’m really sorry but he sounds pretty hard to love. It sounds like he has zero respect for you. You’re right that a relationship should be a team, but he’s no team player he’s a cock-lodger and you’d be better off without him.

OP kick him out and don't ever bring anyone to your children's lives that cannot fully enrich things. They are learning about relationships from watching you, so teach them to respect themselves above all.