Mask shamed (disability), complain? (Some TMI)

[Maskwoes]

I've NCed for this thread as I expect the details I share will make the case highly identifiable. MNHQ can confirm I'm a member of some years.

I have several disabilities, physical and psychological. I am unable to wear a face mask because I have PTSD from sexual trauma as a young teen. I'm sorry for TMI but it's relevant to the case - I was raped and penetrated in my mouth too. Due to this nothing can cover my mouth, it's an instant panic attack.

I had to attend a hospital yesterday - minor injuries unit. I approached to book in and was instantly ordered to put on a mask, one was offered, to which I replied I was unable to do so due to a mental health condition. She fetched a nurse who asked why I was refusing to wear one, and that if I did not then I would be removed from the unit. This area is very open and very public, with other patients being seen at the side of me.

I was becoming extremely anxious at this point and explained that I have PTSD. They wanted details. I was essentially railroaded into detailing what happened as a teen. I was told to wait and then taken into a room with a doctor and another nurse. I again had to explain in detail my PTSD. I was then offered a visor type mask which I found very claustrophobic and in all honesty unbearable.

I was then triaged, assessed and treated. In total I explained everything three times, had an hour-long major panic attack in the car afterwards and have been very on edge, upset, and on the edge of more panic attacks. I had two more overnight and haven't slept, am very upset.

I'm extremely pissed off in truth and am wondering whether I should complain, through which channels, how far to push and what the outcome would likely be.

I'm posting this in AIBU as I want the brutally honest views!

Thank you for reading.

I'm sorry for the drip feed, and it shouldn't have made any difference to the way I was treated, and I hope it won't affect people's views here, but I'm male.
Quite right, should not make any difference and does not lessen the outrage I feel on your behalf. If anything, I can only imagine it was more difficult as a male to describe your trauma because society has not yet caught up with some horrible realities. Stay strong

I’m sorry you were treated in such a disgusting manner. As you’ll know every Sexual Assault and rape victim is entitled to anonymity. Therefore you were not obliged to disclose the full details of what had happened to you. When you said I have PTSD that should have been enough.
Definitely complain.
However, they’d probably never admit it if you asked them but work places are known to close ranks and side with each other.

@NikeDeLaSwoosh I should have said everyone needs to wear a mask unless they have a medical or mental health condition... unfortunately people aren’t psychic and can’t tell just by looking at you (generally) if you are just not wearing one because you don’t like it or if you have a genuine reason. Of course you are going to be challenged in a medical environment.

@NikeDeLaSwoosh

Once she explained that she has PTSD, they should have stopped the witch hunt

Actually, according to the government's advice, OP should never have been challenged in first place.

You're absolutely right.

PTSD does not discriminate on grounds of sex, I’m very sorry you’ve been put through this.

That sounds absolutely horrific, OP.

You did nothing wrong here, and yes I would write a very strongly worded letter to the PALS for the hospital.

And the Covid Police on here can fuck right back off on their high horses. How dare you tell someone they have to wear a mask under these circumstances.

I sympathise with your past , but at the same time I understand where the hospital is Coming from.

Try putting yourself in the shoes from the hospital staff . Imagine You are a doctor out there, trying to help others to recover and get better and triaged in this very scary time. And then in comes someone without a mask. Someone who could potentially infect you. Someone who could just be one of those "it is my right not to have to wear a mask" people . Wouldn't you ask them to wear a mask? Wouldn't you ask them at least a few times why on earth they aren't?

And I know it must have been so hard for you and very confronting but they are Only looking out for themselves (just like you are I guess :))to stay safe so that at the end of the day , they can go back home to their loved ones

Surely it’s just basic common sense that if someone says they have ptsd, or a mental health condition you don’t challenge them on it publicly.
Maybe we’re in unprecedented times, but If NHS staff need training on how to be ‘sensitive’ then quite frankly they are in the wrong job. Complain.

I am sorry that you were put in an embarrassing situation for you, but I also don't think that "mask shaming" should become an expression. Very few people should not be wearing masks, and if anything, there should be mask shaming shaming.

I've just re-registered with MN to post on this thread.

OP please please get the hell off of this thread now. You've gotten some great advice and the overwhelming majority of posters have understood your situation and support you.

There is however an infinite supply of total idiots who will pop on this thread and say variants of

1. don't you care about others? (WTAF - OP is exempt for very good reasons)
2. why didn't you write ahead? (It was an A&E visit)
3. why didn't you put on a sunflower lanyard? (OP was wearing one)
4. refering to you as female when you aren't (because people can't even use the very simple 'read all OPs posts button)

You will tire yourself out responding to the ignorant and stupid and it will never, ever stop.

Its called 'cancel the cheque' after one of the first threads that provoked the phenomenon of endless twats turning up saying the same stupid comment - but now its basically every single fucking thread on the site.

Take care of your mental health first and hide this thread.

Sounds like a terrible and horrific experience. I’m sorry you were treated that way. I would suggest asking your GP to write a letter for you in their officially headed paper and you can give it to people to read. It doesn’t have to go into details about what happened but could say your exempt form
Wearing a mask due to health issues.

So sorry for your experiences OP. Very insensitive of staff who, at this point, must have practice at handling a 'no mask' situation. I am shocked there is clearly no automatic procedure in place. Which is something a teeny tiny care home local to me has thought through without any faff, people arrive. Staff ask them to come to waiting room if not wearing a mask, in which masks and shields are with a note saying welcome to take one, our staff will not challenge you but please understand the vulnerability of our residents). Staff then arrive ask visitors to sanitise and sign in. Leave by a separate door. If you arrive masked you just sign in and sanitise. No challenge, no questions. Not hard is it!

I can understand d why they didn't take you to a private room straight away. These areas tend to be smaller, so the risk from you not wearing a mask is much larger. And they might not have anywhere free - hospitals (walk in centre, urgent care etc included) are so busy that if it's possible to have a private conversation somewhere then they'll use it to see patients.

Contact PALS, ask them to make sure the hospital can supply a face shield for people who are unable to wear a mask.
No one should be forced to disclose trauma like that, its completely unacceptable.

I've just emailed the lawandfiction team, I think I'm going to push this on a legal footing, not as a simple complaint.

OP come and join this thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/3969784-A-little-more-understanding-to-those-not-wearing-masks-THREAD-TWO?watched=1&msgid=98593712#98593712

There are lots of us on there who can help support you and hopefully there will be fewer of the 'sorry, I just don't think there should be any exemptions' lot on there.

There is nothing official to 'prove' you are exempt and you're not required to tell anyone the reason why.

You were treated appallingly and I would absolutely complain in your situation.

You have done nothing wrong and healthcare professionals of all people should have known better.

'I am medically exempt' was all they needed to hear. It shouldn't have got to the 'I have PTSD' stage, but when it did they should have stopped instead of forcing you to recount such a traumatic event, let alone repeatedly.

@Chocoholic12

I'm so sorry this happened to you OP you poor thing. You have to wear a mask or visor though. Theres a pandemic.

You are not sorry or you wouldn't dismiss her severe mental health condition by ignoring it and telling her she has to wear one.

You are wrong anyway, the rules are very clear. Certain circumstances and conditions (of which ptsd certainly qualify) make the person medically exempt from having to wear a mask.

This means that if questioned she only had to say I have ptsd so I am medically exempt from wearing one under the government guidelines. (personally if I felt able I'd add due to sexual violence trauma but that is optional although Iv found it helps to clarify)

Op that should never have happened to you.
It's a disgrace you had to disclose (forcibly) your history of sexual trauma at all but for them to need the details of it and then for you to have to repeat it 3 times!

These are medical professionals who should have had training in how to deal with someone who has experienced trauma! I'm not one for complaining but I do think in this circumstance it is warranted.

Iv known people with severe or complex ptsd to end up in hospital or worse for less than this. I'm shocked and disgusted in 2020 this is still happening.

If NHS staff need training on how to be ‘sensitive’ then quite frankly they are in the wrong job.

This

4. refering to you as female when you aren't (because people can't even use the very simple 'read all OPs posts button

I agree with most of your post and I absolutely agree that all of the ops posts should be read before commenting

But the above is a paid for feature

I'm really sorry this has happened OP, and you are right, it shouldn't have happened. I can maybe understand once and an apology should've been given once you explained?

But 3 times? When they could see you were in distress and upset and in need of medical care?

Ignore the people that can't see past their own nose and life experience and also with a lax understanding of the law and guidance.

@Durgasarrow

I am sorry that you were put in an embarrassing situation for you, but I also don't think that "mask shaming" should become an expression. Very few people should not be wearing masks, and if anything, there should be mask shaming shaming.

Yes, of course, mask discrimination is probably a better term. Language semantics aren't top of my list right now!!

rufus fair enough - I've been off the site for 6 months or so to protect my own mental health from the cancel the cheque brigade, so I didn't realise that. So I guess people still have to go to all the extraordinary effort of finding the highlighted posts from the OP and reading them.....

I'll be getting off it again soon - its so shocking how downhill things have gone in the last year for MN. Cancel the cheque type trolling has completely ruined the place.

Sorry this happened to you OP. I think there's a really difficult balance to be made to meet the needs of those who are unable to wear a mask and those who are vulnerable to covid who would be safer with widespread mask wearing. That's before you even add into the mix those who refuse to be 'muzzled and won't wear one because they don't want to.

What is actually needed of course is a way of showing genuine exception, not just a lanyard or print that anyone can access.
Definitely contact Pals as after you explained once that should have been communicated. I also think if mask wearing is to be long term, which is likely, then the government needs to introduce a service where people can apply for exemption and it is measured appropriately. GPS would be the obvious answer, but potentially could be picked up by NHS direct if people are more comfortable communicating that way.

@Maskwoes

I've just emailed the lawandfiction team, I think I'm going to push this on a legal footing, not as a simple complaint.

Good!

Good luck with it

maskwoes you are doing the all the right things - but honestly you should put this thread away now. You can't make it your own responsibility to correct all the ignorance and stupidity in the world - you just can't!

protect yourself first.