Mask shamed (disability), complain? (Some TMI)

[Maskwoes]

I've NCed for this thread as I expect the details I share will make the case highly identifiable. MNHQ can confirm I'm a member of some years.

I have several disabilities, physical and psychological. I am unable to wear a face mask because I have PTSD from sexual trauma as a young teen. I'm sorry for TMI but it's relevant to the case - I was raped and penetrated in my mouth too. Due to this nothing can cover my mouth, it's an instant panic attack.

I had to attend a hospital yesterday - minor injuries unit. I approached to book in and was instantly ordered to put on a mask, one was offered, to which I replied I was unable to do so due to a mental health condition. She fetched a nurse who asked why I was refusing to wear one, and that if I did not then I would be removed from the unit. This area is very open and very public, with other patients being seen at the side of me.

I was becoming extremely anxious at this point and explained that I have PTSD. They wanted details. I was essentially railroaded into detailing what happened as a teen. I was told to wait and then taken into a room with a doctor and another nurse. I again had to explain in detail my PTSD. I was then offered a visor type mask which I found very claustrophobic and in all honesty unbearable.

I was then triaged, assessed and treated. In total I explained everything three times, had an hour-long major panic attack in the car afterwards and have been very on edge, upset, and on the edge of more panic attacks. I had two more overnight and haven't slept, am very upset.

I'm extremely pissed off in truth and am wondering whether I should complain, through which channels, how far to push and what the outcome would likely be.

I'm posting this in AIBU as I want the brutally honest views!

Thank you for reading.

Shocking how many frontline HCPs are apparently ignorant of government guidelines.

@Maskwoes

HI OP
It doesn't matter a hoot if you're male or female. I still stand by my post that you weren't afforded any dignity or respect and it should've been enough for you to say you have PTSD. So complain

I made an assumption that you were female and I'm sorry for this. Men are raped and sexually assaulted too (and based on a male friend's experience many years ago get even less support and understanding then women do).

I'm so sorry

@Justpassingthroughagain

rufus fair enough - I've been off the site for 6 months or so to protect my own mental health from the cancel the cheque brigade, so I didn't realise that. So I guess people still have to go to all the extraordinary effort of finding the highlighted posts from the OP and reading them.....

I'll be getting off it again soon - its so shocking how downhill things have gone in the last year for MN. Cancel the cheque type trolling has completely ruined the place.

I absolutely agree

And you are right about checking ops posts before commenting

Quite often ive seen OPs do a complete u turn on a subject and they still get hundreds of posts berating them when they’ve already agreed/apologised

Good luck, @OP - you've been treated very, very badly.

I hope lawandfiction can help you. And maybe have a look at the other thread. But don't feel you have to hang around on this one. Like pp have said, some people just don't read.

That’s bad
Yes complain 100%

That is awful.

I see mask wearing as a bit like vaccine compliance. With vaccines, some cannot have them but the majority having them supports the protection of those who can't. Likewise with masks.

Complain. And ensure it does not happen to anyone.

Try putting yourself in the shoes from the hospital staff . Imagine You are a doctor out there, trying to help others to recover and get better and triaged in this very scary time. And then in comes someone without a mask. Someone who could potentially infect you. Someone who could just be one of those "it is my right not to have to wear a mask" people . Wouldn't you ask them to wear a mask? Wouldn't you ask them at least a few times why on earth they aren't? no staff at my GP practice or hospital were wearing a mask when I saw them to be fair! So they can't be that bothered!

I went shopping with my DH yesterday, first time in masks.

I’m used to wearing one because of my job, but he isn’t. Wasn’t worried about it, quite happy to put it on. Within minutes he could barely breathe, don’t know what did it, but he has a heart condition and the pain was intense quite quickly. Needed his angina spray etc.

He literally lifted his mask to take a spray under his tongue and was barked at by the lady next to us ‘masks are mandatory!’

I was really shocked to be truthful, and tried to explain but some people genuinely are bull headed. The staff on the other hand were fantastic, and offered a chair and water lol. He just wanted to get the mask back on and finish the shopping mind.

It doesn’t solve the problem of judgement though. My DH can shrug it off, he’s not suffering PTSD and it’s a very different situation. It’s awful that staff in a hospital are being so ignorant to health issues yet Tesco staff are clued in. Bit worrying really.

Much support OP xx

Can I also comment there have been a few posters who have made comments along the lines of male rape victims having a harder time/more traumatic/less understanding than female rape victims. Can we please stop this? I stand together with my fellow rape survivors whatever their gender or sex. Please let's not start a who has it worse debate. It doesn't help anyone and makes some of our experiences feel invalid.

That is horrendous. I would complain. You should not have to repeatedly tell strangers the reason you have PTSD. The fact it was in a medical setting is even worse.

Sorry for your experiences and having to relive the past. If I were you I'd type out a brief statement (I am unable to wear face coverings due to PTSD from a serious assault) and have it ready to show officials. There are so many people refusing to wear one as it's 'an attack on their personal liberty' [hmm} so I guess hospital staff are trying to weed out the chaff, as it were.

Of course you should complain.

Some randomer in Tesco or a shop assistant who hasn't been properly trained is bad enough. But nurses should know better.

@RufustheRowlingReindeer I am on the app (unpaid) and have the option to filter posts by poster at the top of each thread. You can select the OP and only see their posts.

@Maskwoes

I've just emailed the lawandfiction team, I think I'm going to push this on a legal footing, not as a simple complaint.

That’s one option.

Another - if your PALS team is crap - is to go straight to the hospital chief executive.

They’ve breached confidentiality by making you discuss this in a public place for a start.

I’m sorry you had to go through this.

That is awful.
What they SHOULD have done, at the very least after you said you were exempt, was to to separate you from the other people waiting- either in a corner, or asked you to wait outside and someone would call you in. That would have been for your protection, not the rest of the WR. The triage nurse could have asked you privately when you went in.

I would complain- about the lack of privacy and confidentiality, and the totally awful experience you had. Star with PALS, they will direct the complaint to the right people. Google "(name of hospital) PALS" and you should get the details. Wait a couple of days till you can think straight.

I'm sorry that happened to you, how awful.

Blimey, L&F replied already, will be away for a bit reading. And thank you for all the support.

Nah, that's terrible behaviour from HCPs. It makes me wonder where else they're falling down to be honest. I would be really wary of their standards of care because it's clear red flag territory. That violates all sorts of guidelines and the fact that it wasn't limited to one nurse or doctor, suggests that some training is urgently needed to address an unchecked culture.

Definitely start with PALS and if you get no joy, kick it up to the General Medical Council/Nursing and Midwifery Council. They would be interested.

Good luck and I am sorry this happened to you. The pandemic has lead to an empathy and common sense bypass in some people. They shouldn’t have challenged you at all. At the very minimum they should have stopped when you mentioned PTSD.

OP so sorry you were put through this, and I hope you get somewhere with the complaint.

I realise everyone in healthcare is desperately trying to sort out new procedures to cope with this on the fly, but honestly, how hard is it to find a cubicle somewhere or even a quiet corner out of earshot to talk to someone privately when they've just disclosed that they suffer from PTSD? Pretty much every high street pharmacy has a small room to deal with confidentiality - surely an A&E department should be able to manage the same.

@Weetabixandcrumpets thank you for that link. Very comprehensive and written in a way that can be understood by people with no legal background.

I am sorry for what you experienced, OP. It was totally wrong. I think you are right to challenge this both for your own peace of mind and for others who will follow you. And there will be many people who experience these kind of 'challenges' to mask wearing.

I have a type 1 child. On the train thread yesterday I realised that we may find he is challenged if needing to remove a mask to treat a hypo. We have now downloaded the exemption stuff from the gov website onto our phones so we have it close by. I think I will also be carrying a copy of the legal toolkit mentioned above in my hand bag 'just in case' and will look into the sunflower lanyard although I suspect he will be too cool to wear it (teenager). What a nightmare to have to anticipate and try to deal with before it happens. As if people with this kind of exemption don't have enough to be dealing with.

I have a legal case it would seem. No idea how I'll afford a disability discrimination lawyer, I guess nothing stopping me pursuing it as a layperson. They are horrified and say many in the medical community are at the treatment of exempt service users.

I also think if mask wearing is to be long term, which is likely, then the government needs to introduce a service where people can apply for exemption and it is measured appropriately

Yes, I think this might be necessary. It seems to me that GPs could have admin staff query their databases for a list of conditions that will be generically exempt and just send out a letter? That would be quicker and more cost effective than setting up a new office and getting staff in to deal with it. Probably quicker as well.

@RufustheRowlingReindeer

4. refering to you as female when you aren't (because people can't even use the very simple 'read all OPs posts button

I agree with most of your post and I absolutely agree that all of the ops posts should be read before commenting

But the above is a paid for feature

It isn't a paid-for feature - anyone can use it.

Sorry maskwoes I posted before I had seen that you were a male.

It changes nothing in my reply feelings of outrage about your experience but please change all she's to he ok

Sorry again and good luck with L&F

If you don't mind would you come back and let us know how you get on, it could be quite good information for other survivors (as I'm sure many of will experience issues over the next while) to see the outcome. Well done for standing up for your rights, I know it must be incredibly difficult when you're natural response is probably just to crumble.

As someone from a country with a health system nothing like as good as the NHS it astounds me at how some of you regard the NHS and indeed Coronavirus. It's no wonder your country is doing so astonishingly badly with the virus.