Mask shamed (disability), complain? (Some TMI)

[Maskwoes]

I've NCed for this thread as I expect the details I share will make the case highly identifiable. MNHQ can confirm I'm a member of some years.

I have several disabilities, physical and psychological. I am unable to wear a face mask because I have PTSD from sexual trauma as a young teen. I'm sorry for TMI but it's relevant to the case - I was raped and penetrated in my mouth too. Due to this nothing can cover my mouth, it's an instant panic attack.

I had to attend a hospital yesterday - minor injuries unit. I approached to book in and was instantly ordered to put on a mask, one was offered, to which I replied I was unable to do so due to a mental health condition. She fetched a nurse who asked why I was refusing to wear one, and that if I did not then I would be removed from the unit. This area is very open and very public, with other patients being seen at the side of me.

I was becoming extremely anxious at this point and explained that I have PTSD. They wanted details. I was essentially railroaded into detailing what happened as a teen. I was told to wait and then taken into a room with a doctor and another nurse. I again had to explain in detail my PTSD. I was then offered a visor type mask which I found very claustrophobic and in all honesty unbearable.

I was then triaged, assessed and treated. In total I explained everything three times, had an hour-long major panic attack in the car afterwards and have been very on edge, upset, and on the edge of more panic attacks. I had two more overnight and haven't slept, am very upset.

I'm extremely pissed off in truth and am wondering whether I should complain, through which channels, how far to push and what the outcome would likely be.

I'm posting this in AIBU as I want the brutally honest views!

Thank you for reading.

@RainingMeatballs

I don’t much to add, but I just wanted to dilute some of the nasty responses by saying something and making it less overwhelming. You weren’t treated respectfully and you, regardless of Coronavirus, still have a right to respect and decency and understanding. It sounds like you’ve had a rough ride and coped better than most. It’s shit, unfair but take some pride in how much you’ve held together. And do feedback, there needs to be progress.

Aww, thank you. I'm a firm believer in accountability, sincerity, integrity and respect and will not compromise my own. These traits are exactly why I'll pursue this, and keep the thread updated. The hospital failed me on all those traits, and throw lack of empathy into the pot too.

@Maskwoes I've just finished reading this thread and wanted to add my support. You were treated appallingly at the hospital, were very brave to post on here for advice and support, only to be subjected to some truly awful comments on here. I hope the supportive comments and advice have outweighed the nastiness. I also hope that you are feeling better now after your emergency trip to hospital and that you have real life support

@Maskwoes I’m so sorry you were treated in that manner. Please if you have the strength do complain. I have had great treatment in hospitals over the years but also some awful treatment that resulted in PTSD. I just didn’t have the strength to complain but I’m now fearful to go anywhere near a hospital.

@WaterOffADucksCrack

Sadly there are a few rape apologists on this thread. Not because they have a "different opinion" like a pp said but because they are claiming rape isn't a serious act and is something survivors should just get over.

The visors really aren't that bad. I think you have to accept a visor to keep everyone safe unless that means keeping your own mental health safe apparently!

I've suffered sexual violence too, I can cope with a mask if I have to. I know I'm lucky to not get ptsd. I just don't see why the NHS staff should have to take such a risk. Bully for you that you can cope with a mask! The OP can't. I grew up being raped, have also been raped by exs including being gang raped for hours and hours. I can cope with a mask. That does not mean every rape survivor can.

Oh my fucking God, I am so incredibly sorry.

I am really, really sorry this has happened to you. That was a truly appalling way to be treated by somewhere you should have been safe. I hope you are okay, remember that you matter and that you are important. Just wanted to say that, complain about the treatment if you can (and certainly case law helps every damn bit) but pulse don’t feel a sense of responsibility to do so if it’s at the detriment to your health. That’s the most important thing.

This sounds like a horribly complex situation. You have the right to good care but staff and others visiting have the right to be protected too.

I think I would complain that they have not thought through care for people who are medically exempt from masks, there should be clear instructions about what to do and no one should have to explain anything in a public area.
As far as the PTSD stopping you from wearing a mask, I don't know how much therapy you have had but I would be pushing now for further evidence based trauma therapy to help you be able to wear a mask. Masks protect you, you deserve to be able to be protected and wear a mask. Were you to get Covid badly one of the most effective treatments is Oxygen therapy via a CPAP mask. It would help protect you and your treatment if needed if you could have psychological therapy for this from your mental health Trust's traumatic stress service. There are treatments for this and you deserve to receive the best care to help you live without this fear and continuing aggression that sadly you will probably come across if you are out without a mask.

Maskwoes No need to be sorry. I just wanted to add a voice of solidarity from someone who gets it. Even on this page someone is posting about masks and what treatment may be used if you get covid like that will make a blind bit of difference. People seem to think "therapy" is an overnight transformation

‘ For Christ’s sake.
Yes, you can, if you are exempt, which the OP is. There is nothing in government or hospital/NHS guidelines stating that those who are exempt will actually be questioned repeatedly and then forced to wear a face covering anyway - it should not have happened. Do you think they should have just refused to treat the OP? Jesus’

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with people who cannot wear a mask, however you need to understand that healthcare professionals need to change the way they work to cater for this- which would allow comfortably for all involved. This needs planning.
I don’t agree with the way OP was treated but unfortunately patient safety comes first, and not wearing a mask compromised that.

I’m also not a fuck wit.
I’m also a rape victim too.

But thanks.

@DianasLasso my previous comment is for you.

Unfortunately we’re in a pandemic, the nhs was overstretched and stressed enough before this, it’s not as simple for provisions to be made on the spot and everyone knows mental health isn’t taken as seriously as it should be and there’s little funding for that too.

Anyway. I hope you’re pleased about calling people brain dead fucks wits for not agreeing with you.
Disgusting

healthcare professionals need to change the way they work to cater for this- which would allow comfortably for all involved.

Yes they do, but they don't need to throw empathy, patient respect, basic decency and common sense out of the window whilst they are doing so.

‘ Yes they do, but they don't need to throw empathy, patient respect, basic decency and common sense out of the window whilst they are doing so’

What could they have done differently to make you feel better about these points?
Ultimately you’d have had to wear the visor which I think is the main thing that caused your panic attack today?

I don’t agree with the way they were with you but I do understand that covid fear and people refusing to wear masks for no reason would be sparking their behaviour towards you. It doesn’t make it any better I know, but I’m not sure reporting them would either?

Nothing is ideal atm.

I’ve asked for those points btw because I think it might be helpful for you to see. Also, because it can form the base of a complaint if you want to proceed with that.

You should contact them however, about putting a procedure in place so you don’t have to go through this again if you need any more treatment.

Ultimately you’d have had to wear the visor which I think is the main thing that caused your panic attack today?

They could have spoken to me with dignity and respect and acceded to my request to speak in a private area. Treating me like shit had me 99% to a panic attack, the visor just pushed it over the edge. And no, ultimately, legally I didn't have to.

Then you need to make a complaint. It doesn’t matter what anyone says here. Whether people agree or disagree, ultimately it’s your experience and your reaction.

It’s ok to feel the way you are about this.
Our feelings can’t change what has happened and disagreeing with it on a forum isn’t enough to make a change.
Pointing out the way you’ve been treated and how it made you feel can cause a change to occur.

Just came upon this thread and can't actually believe what horrible people there are on here.

Millions of people suffer sexual trauma OP isn’t special a human being actually said this about a fellow human being who has survived rape.

I am disgusted but also so impressed with your resolve OP. A simple, "I am exempt" should be more than enough. It needs to be more than enough. We don't want to live in a country where we all have to carry round cards which list our medical history in case someone doesn't believe you.

Will some people take advantage? Yes I suppose some will. Can this be resolved? Not really. If people can create fake ID they can create fake doctors notes and fake "mask exemption" cards. Let's just trust people shall we? A minority may be lying but the majority who say they are exempt will be exempt.

I may have missed it but has there been a demand for children to carry their birth certificates when they are in shops? Exemption applies to children under 11 - some children look young for their age, some look older. Presumably those who favour a rigorous burden of proof being placed on those with medical exemption feel just as strongly about age exemption and would want to apply the same conditions. If not, I wonder why

Covid lives for days on surfaces so how does a mask which you touch prevent it

Good morning,

I attended the walk-in unit on Saturday 25th July and I am utterly disgusted by the treatment I received. I consider the traits of accountability, integrity, respect, dignity and empathy extremely important and I was failed by multiple members of staff in each of these areas.

I have no interest in utilising PALS for this matter and I would like to pursue this as a formal complaint, and would request a timely formal meeting with relevant senior staff.

Was just emailed to the Trust.

What happened to you was wrong.

@Flowers009

Covid lives for days on surfaces so how does a mask which you touch prevent it

If you sneeze droplets are directed downwards (visors).

"some people are dicks, so you can't expect at least some basic decency and respect until you prove you're not a dick"

"Its the fault of those who wont wear masks making it harder for those who cant so they have to prove their disabilty" is the new "Its the fault of the scroungers which is why you need to prove your disability" to get PIP re imagined for 2020

When its ignorant disabilists causing the problem in both scenarios.

Hi

I couldn't read all the comments.

What happened is terrible and maybe there is a way to have a card or something as someone said.

Now to put ourselves in their shoes, let's not forget that for the last 4 months they are overworked, dealing with a deadly disease than some of them had caught and died from because of the job they do. They probably have to deal with a public that is very stressed and more prone to aggression. Finally, I bet they can hear the similar stories all the times, and while many are surely true, they probably a lot of fuckers out there too.

Hope yo u can feel better and find a solution for the future as you will need to protect yourself too from the covid.

This I one of the worst threads I have ever seen on this site.

I came on to check in on you @maskwoes and this is what I found I'm just speechless with disgust at lots of the responses you have had on here. I'm really sorry.

The saddest thing I am not actually that surprised, as someone who has experienced amongst other traumas long term csa, and a sexually violent dv relationship which has caused complex ptsd and severe chronic suicidal depression I absolutely understand the effect of this must have had on you. I have also as most of us survivors have experienced ignorance and downright deliberate behaviour from people and professionals. I have also heard similar dismissive opinions as the ones on this thread.
You would think in this day and age people would know better.

but I would be pushing now for further evidence based trauma therapy to help you be able to wear a mask. Masks protect you, you deserve to be able to be protected and wear a mask

No he fucking well doesnt have to do that. Some of these replies on here are the worst posts ive ever seen and ive been on MN for nine years.

OP I believe you

Its the privileging of physical health over mental that I can't deal with any more.

14 people died in the UK with a positive covid test. The average number of people killing themselves each day is 20.

It isn't okay to sacrifice the mental health of people who cannot wear masks due to trauma, for the tiny ADDITIONAL risk of them not wearing a mask.

It also wasn't okay to sacrifice the mental health and education of our children either - but physical threat is weighted so much more heavily than mental that apparently we will screw over as many people as it takes to reduce an already small physical risk that little bit further....well unless it means pubs staying shut - obviously its more important to transmission rates to force rape survivors into masks than to stop people going for a pint....or buying shoes....except that obviously it isn't.