Apparently he's surprised workmen would beep at me.

[shellydolls]

Me and boyfriend went for a walk yesterday. He has a habit of walking miles in front of me as he doesn't notice if I've stopped for any reason.
I did stop to read a message on my phone so as expected he was still walking on ahead.

Anyway, a white van drove past and some men were whistling and making noises at me. I felt extremely embarrassed!

Boyfriend then turned round and noticed I was a bit behind him. He looked behind me and across the road and then said ' were they whistling at you? '
I replied yes.
He seemed genuinely confused.
He then went on to say ' I don't know why they would whistle at you for as you haven't exactly done yourself up'.

Admittedly, I was just dressed very casually and only brushed my hair to go out.

Now I know the workmen could have very likely been taking the piss and thought they'd do it for a laugh. That's how I've been made to feel anyway.

So was my boyfriend unreasonable to say what he did, or was I for not just laughing it off?

Me and boyfriend went for a walk yesterday. He has a habit of walking miles in front of me as he doesn't notice if I've stopped for any reason.

I find this more strange!!

How rude of him!

I think men sometimes incorrectly think that only women in short skirts, skimpy tops and high heels get catcalled, so maybe he just meant that?
I find your bf more unreasonable for walking off without noticing you weren't with him.

That was an unpleasant comment to make and it’s left you feeling uncertain.
It’s difficult to say without more context but is he often negative towards you?
I wouldn’t laugh a comment like that off.

Me and boyfriend went for a walk yesterday. He has a habit of walking miles in front of me as he doesn't notice if I've stopped for any reason.

This is more of an issue for me. But I would be fuming if he also said that

@ukgift2016 he's often got a lot on his mind so he genuinely doesn't notice till I'm running up behind him.

It's not strange.

Men in vans whistle and toot at any female with a pulse. I’d say to him “welcome to my world”.

Why are you looking for validation from white van men? Is it anything to do with your boyfriend ignoring you and being dismissive and rude?

Wow so much wrong with all of this.

Your boyfriend is a knob 🤷‍♂️

@BitOfFun

Why are you looking for validation from white van men? Is it anything to do with your boyfriend ignoring you and being dismissive and rude?

When did I say I'm looking for any validation. I was actually extremely embarrassed by it.

He sounds like a dick all round to be honest. Why walk so far ahead of you and not bother to notice he's left you behind? Then there's the outright insult to your appearance. I hope he has some seriously good qualities elsewhere or I think you should look for a different fish in this sea!

But you’re insulted that your boyfriend didn’t consider you beep-worthy?

I fucking HATE sexist pigs beeping women, but in this scenario I’d be more offended by my boyfriend being so plain unpleasant. Does he ignore you a lot?

• he's often got a lot on his mind so he genuinely doesn't notice till I'm running up behind him.

It's not strange.*

It is strange. Maybe he would be better going for a walk alone if he needs to clear his head. Doesn't sound like much fun to be honest.

When I said he walks miles I front of me, I didn't literally mean miles. He will often walk on ahead so it could appear we are not walking together. It really isn't an issue to me.

@BitOfFun there is nothing in what OP has said that sounds like she is looking for validation from the men in the van

Dreamtopia, you’re right: I was exaggerating to make the point of how inconsiderate the OP’s boyfriend appears.

@shellydolls realistically he’s not walking miles ahead. Otherwise you’d not be walking in the same street.

What are the reasons you stop? Do you often stop to check your phone or are you struggling to keep up? Some people hate it when others check their phone when out and about.

Regarding the van men - I would have said you cheeky bastard, welcome to my world I could be wearing a bin bag and they’d whistle!!

Maybe it's not strange to you OP. But you've come onto a forum asking for advice from people who are independent. They've told you your BFs behaviour is strange because a partner is supposed to be nice to you. This isn't nice behaviour.

You can carry on being with someone who clearly thinks you're only attractive if you're dolled.up, or you can realise now he's not that great a catch and not waste any more energy on someone who puts you down.

Your call

@Galaxycat like I've just explained, it's not literally miles!

Also like I've already said I stopped to read a message on my phone.

I had an ex who would stride ahead of me, and it was just one way he would treat me in a dismissive way.

Do you not hold hands, or even chat together?

Leave your phone at home and then you won't have to stop or slow down to read messages.

But your boyfriend's comment was very odd. So harassment is ok if you are "dolled up" but not if you're not? It's never ok!

So you think it's ok and 'normal' for someone to walk ahead of you? What is the point of you both going for a walk together if it appears he is embarrassed to be seen with you?

I’m more concerned that your partner doesn’t think you’re worth beeping at.
Maybe it’s time for an upgrade 😉

@Zoecarter

Me and boyfriend went for a walk yesterday. He has a habit of walking miles in front of me as he doesn't notice if I've stopped for any reason.

This is more of an issue for me. But I would be fuming if he also said that

This would piss me right off. Go for a walk together or don't.