To be disappointed by this 40th birthday gift from my friends?

[bdaydisappoint]

Basically, I've known this particular group of 8 friends including me since school (almost 30 years now!!) and I'm the last of the group to hit the big 40. We had a lovely socially distanced picnic in the park yesterday where they excitedly gave me... a gift box full of Tropic stuff.

One of the girls has recently become a Tropic ambassador and honestly, she's become quite obsessed. It feels like every conversation winds back to Tropic somehow and she keeps asking everyone if they'd like to host pamper parties (so much fun and a great chance to catch up with wine if nothing else! ). I dislike all MLM type selling on principle so have always excused myself from the parties (all via Zoom in this covid-19 world). However, I haven't outright told her I'm not interested, so tbf she won't know my true feelings on it.

There's two reasons I feel a bit let down. Firstly, it's just so generic and impersonal. For all of the other girls' 40ths, we've tried to give gifts personal to the birthday girl in question e.g. the gin lover got a fancy gin masterclass, the musical theatre fan got tickets to a West End show (obviously these were pre-pandemic), the avid reader got a book subscription etc etc. A skin care set just isn't, well, 'me' really. I'm not especially into beauty stuff and I've never expressed a desire to try tropic. Secondly, it just irks me that my Tropic selling friend has probably got paid commission and this might be the main reason for the gift choice. It's not about the money (knowing how expensive Tropic stuff is, I think they've actually spent a lot! ) it's more the lack of thought considering we've made an effort to do personal presents for everyone else. And also having MLM products forced upon me when I've been actively avoiding them!

AIBU and a horrible, terrible and ungrateful friend? Or am I right to feel disappointed by this? For info, I tried not to let my feelings show and did thank them all. In the end, it was a minor blip in what was otherwise a truly wonderful day.

This made dailymail - might want to delete the thread @bdaydisappoint

www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-8565031/Woman-BLASTS-friends-giving-impersonal-gift-one-pal-MLM-brand-ambassador.html

Not alot thought put into that gift. I would be hurt too...

[quote Desperadododo]This made dailymail - might want to delete the thread @bdaydisappoint

www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-8565031/Woman-BLASTS-friends-giving-impersonal-gift-one-pal-MLM-brand-ambassador.html[/quote]
Why? Might get the point across not to do it again and even better, not have a birthday party with the stuff at the centre of it even

Feeding the daily fail writers who need to regurgitate a MN thread to have something to write about

Aim high! 👍

It could be that she didn’t actually make any commission on it, and she did it at cost. 🤷‍♀️

@CandyGirl82 she will have benefitted by fulfilling minimum purchase requirements. Anyway you work it the Tropic Hun has acted in self-interest

Fuck you daily mail

@Bex781

I get that you night not like multi level marketing but as a friend you could at least support your friend. She is trying to make a living for herself. Multi level marketing isn't for everyone and that is fine. Would it really kill you to try some of the products she gifted you? You might find something you like? I know lots of people who do Tropic, bodycare etc and I always go to these people first if i am looking for a new product to support them personally. It's the whole shop locally support small businesses scenario. If you started up a business and this group of women didn't believe in it or even want to try any of your products or services would you not feel a little upset and hurt by your friends? Friends are supposed to support each other and it sounds like you are unsupportive of her because of your outlook on mlm schemes. They aren't all bad and you can get some amazing products, it's more about being open to try new things than what you are used to.

Bot.

@Bex781, hun, I don't think you quite get it.

When you say "It's the whole shop locally support small businesses scenario" it is very clear you don't understand what the terms "local" and "small business" really mean. MLM is neither local nor a small business.

[quote acatcalledjohn]@Bex781, hun, I don't think you quite get it.

When you say "It's the whole shop locally support small businesses scenario" it is very clear you don't understand what the terms "local" and "small business" really mean. MLM is neither local nor a small business.

[/quote]
Oh I do hun, I've done Avon etc in the past, if her friend ran a shop and sold those products in the shop would she buy them in that scenario? I'm sure her friend meant well and thought she was choosing some things her friend might like?

@Bex781 so you’ve done Avon in the past? Not a perspective that means you understand what is being said here. In fact it shows you were fooled too. If a friend had a bona fide shop to buy goods there would be supporting a real business and it’s unlikely the shop owning friend would need to resort to that level of manipulation to make money even if she gives things from her own retail business. In MLM the distributor is the real customer of the MLM and makes little money retailing to the end ‘real’ customer outside the scheme - the only way they can make anything is to recruit big teams below them. People who sign up to MLM resort to desperate and underhand tactics because they are trying to stay active and hit product selling targets which are so difficult to fulfil - that’s when they start trying to recruit everyone they know. In the end 80% of sign ups drop out in the early days and the remaining people end up making very little indeed. Look at the income disclosures for those that manage to stay active - more than 80% are losing money. The friend didn’t mean well, she took an opportunity to make commission and hit targets using the OP’s birthday. From now on all events that require gift giving from that friend will Tropic products, no thought about what someone would like just a way to push out product. This is why people in MLM lose friends so fast, it’s a classic example of it.

Again, Avon is not a small business. For MLM you are a glorified and unpaid sales rep with exactly zero rights. You have no responsibility for any of the branding and with most MLMs you are restricted to just selling that one brand or risk termination without notice.

It's not a small business. You do not support friends by buying it, you simply prolong their time spent sinking money in a doomed to fall pyramid scheme.

Nor is it local because the ones laughing all the way to the bank are the big, global, corporate owners.

So no, you really don't understand it.

Local business is Karen who makes her own soap products which she sells on Etsy and craft fairs, perhaps a local independent boutique stocks them. Local business is Jane, a tailor who works from home and has built her business through using her skills and the subsequent word of mouth from local people who have bought her items or used her services for alterations and bespoke items. Local business is the independent butcher who has had a village shop for the last 75 years which has been passed down several generations.

MLM is hawking overpriced shite and turns its reps in to bullies. (No means not yet, etc.)

Local business. Ha! What bollocks.

@gamerchick

Because if this thread is real, it’s real people and real friendships in the public press which will destroy relationships. When you post on Mumsnet, you do so hoping for a little advice but anonymity. If the poster foresaw this in the public press, I’m sure she would not have posted. I don’t agree with the disappointment. I believe never to expect a gift, and be grateful for anything given. I do think OP was unreasonable. But having it in a rag read online and in paper by 30M people isn’t doing anyone any favours.
Further the DM rehashing threads as articles, ruins MN as people fear posting. Doesn’t help anyone.

I’m afraid you lost me at ‘lovely socially distanced picnic’.
Maybe you all deserve each other.

I think you are being quite ungrateful to be honest.
Regardless of Tropic being an MLM company, your friend was excited to give you that gift.
She obviously thought you would like it, which meant she did think about what to give you and bought it for you. Yes she still paid for it, regardless of commission etc..
The important thing is that she bought you a gift that she thought you would like. Surely that’s important? Or is your friend not important to you- only what she can gives you?
Did you even try the products??

@Eviecol

I think you are being quite ungrateful to be honest. Regardless of Tropic being an MLM company, your friend was excited to give you that gift. She obviously thought you would like it, which meant she did think about what to give you and bought it for you. Yes she still paid for it, regardless of commission etc.. The important thing is that she bought you a gift that she thought you would like. Surely that’s important? Or is your friend not important to you- only what she can gives you? Did you even try the products??

@Eviecol exactly! And she probably hasn't even contemplated trying any of them because she turned to mumsnet to bash her friend and they told her not to, or she's so disgusted her friend thought to gift her something, I mean it's the thought that counts is it not? 🤔 I only signed up to here today and to be honest the judgment of others is quite disgusting. It shows the dark side of social media and too many people use it wrongly. Women should support women even more so if they are your so called friend. I'm sure her friend would be upset if she knew she had done this, maybe she should distance herself from said friend and hopefully never land on hard times when she falls from her "social distanced high horse" 🤦‍♀️🤷‍♀️

No she isn't being ungrateful. The friend was excited to boost her points in the MLM. MLMs are toxic, converting friendships into profit opportunitioes.

As in Hawaiin tropic?

It is possible that Tropic reps will be drawn to the thread now because of the Daily Mail article

@Eviecol

I think you are being quite ungrateful to be honest. Regardless of Tropic being an MLM company, your friend was excited to give you that gift. She obviously thought you would like it, which meant she did think about what to give you and bought it for you. Yes she still paid for it, regardless of commission etc.. The important thing is that she bought you a gift that she thought you would like. Surely that’s important? Or is your friend not important to you- only what she can gives you? Did you even try the products??

your friend was excited to give you that gift because it represented commission to her. Why did she decide they should all buy Tropic? This is typical MLM Hun self-interest, it isn’t about giving something really nice. I bet the other friends are sceptical but allowed themselves to be pushed into buying from her To add in for the gift they all gave. If they’re not sceptical now they will be when they get given endless Tropic gifts when they are all going to the trouble of giving presents that don’t benefit themselves.

She didn’t pay for the whole gift, others gave her money and the Tropic was a joint gift. She probably parted with the least money of all the friends as she was the only one who got a discount (as well as her commission and min personal spend). Are you and others who have hopped over from the DM not reading the full thread?

I joined here today too- because of this particular post that I read on the daily mail!
I’m sad for this women’s friend.

What is tropic??

You’re right, I think I didn’t read the whole thread! 😂
I didn’t realise it was the main gift! I only thought it was just one that she (the Tropic Ambassdor) had bought! I also didn’t read that she’s not into skin products!
Fair enough then; her group of friends should have all known that and bought her something they all knew she would definitely like. Therefore I retract the ungrateful comment I made!!😫
(Personally I love a good skin products but that’s me)

@PablosHoney Tropic is a Multilevel Marketing scheme (MLM). MLMs are also referred to as network marketing and direct sales.

Some would say that MLMs are thinly disguised pyramid schemes and the only reason they’re legal is because they hide behind overpriced, highly expensive products which unsalaried sales reps (aka bots) are encouraged to buy and / or inflict on their friends and family or the public at large.

This documentary about MLMs is fascinating:

www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p076n2hg

I know lots of people who do Tropic, bodycare etc and I always go to these people first if i am looking for a new product to support them personally. It's the whole shop locally support small businesses scenario
You just don't get it, and need to educate yourself further. Tropic, Bodycare etc are NOT small, local businesses. They are large corporations that prey on vulnerable people. The only ones who make money are the ones at the top of the pyramid.
If you genuinely want to help your friends who are involved in MLM schemes , it would be to ignore, unfollow, disengage. In that way they will find a way out of their predicament sooner rather than later, thereby preserving their friendships and ultimately their wallets.