AIBU or is hubby? Days out and holidays.

[jackandjill12]

I had a really lovely childhood my parents did loads with us. We had great holidays, my parents were quite well off so our holidays were often holiday cottages or hotels abroad. We were often taken for days out to zoos them parks etc and I loved it and made great memories. However my DH still says he had a good childhood but he never went on holiday or out for days out mainly because they couldn't afford it but also because his mum always was and still is of the school of thought that kids should make their own entertainment without needing an adult to provide it. We are comfortably well off as me husband is very very careful with money ie saving and rarely spending it. He wants to retire at 55 so he needs all the money he can so this is possible. So no holidays, days out or meal out for the kids as we can't afford it. He says memories can be made with picnics, and walks in the wood, free museums etc .Because I did so much I feel my kids are missing out . My DD just asked to go to a zoo hubby looked at the price £50 for 4 of us (not bad!!) and he said absolutely no way, a total waste of money. They have only ever been to attractions with school or cubs. AIBU or is he just being money savvy???

Even if he was @MrsTerryPratchett it’s a total kick in the swingers. My dad was a shit dad but is a great grandad - within normal sense of reason. I love my kids so I grin and bear it but fuck me I’d like to let rip when he gets all misty eyed about my childhood.

Problem is if he’s a shit, uninvolved dad his kids might not want anything to do with him by the time they have children of their own.

That's shit @MrsKoala

Tell him tomorrow is a luxury not a guarantee. I have a friend with a 9 year old son battling leukemia. A couple months ago they thought they had all the time in the world to do things. Now they are making every memory they can between treatments. Tell him if something happened to him before they were grown up does he want them to have loads of happy memories with dad in them or a pile of bank notes. Surely a little less saving and the odd day out is a far better balance.

OP my sister's friend was very much like your DH. She was always refusing to allow her children to go on school trips even though she and her DH were comfortable. She refused to go on holidays and her children never went to Pantos at Xmas or anywhere really. She was planning on retiring at 50. She was obsessed with.it. she died of Covid in April. Never got to retire. Died at 43. Never made special memories with her kids. Her 2 daughters were talking to my niece and told her now their Mum is gone her Dad is much more fun and now they are allowed to plan a holiday for next year. The kids have tried to remember great days with their Mum but can't as every day similar no outstanding memories which is so sad.

OP could you do something like topcashback and earn money through that just to be used for treats. I do that. Last year I got over £400. I also do surveys mostly yougov and by Xmas will get s free £50 Amazon voucher. They sometimes have cheap tickets to attractions on Wowcher.

Got their August birthdays I am giving my 2 dgs Annual passes for Bristol Zoo and the Wild Place. My dd and Dil also had pass for their birthdays. They live near to it and will go at least every month. For them it is well worth the money and they have do many toys my dd says she does not have room for many more. We prefer to buy dgc panto tickets at Xmas. We go with them too sometimes so we get to see the children having fun. Have you got a grandparent who would buy children zoo passes for birthday or Xmas?

Or her 'financial fanatic and savings whizz' husband could do those things, since it's exactly the sort of financial faffing he enjoyes doing as a hobby.

Excellent examples of the sorts of options open to him, if he hadn't taken an ideological anti-fun position and put that ahead of affordability.

I hope he's got lots of hobbies to keep him entertained for free when he retires at 55....

YANBU! Your husband may want to retire at 55 but it should not not come at the cost of your kids not having nice childhood memories. Can't you take them yourself with your own money and leave him at home to sulk and then he can see how happy they are to have been when they return?