AIBU- £350 bridesmaids dresses

[Youbigdosser]

Me and my sister have been asked to be bridesmaids to our cousin we used to be very close to.
We aren’t short of money but the dresses she has chosen for us to wear and asked us to pay for ourselves are £350 each.
I wouldn’t say no and look cheap but if it was my wedding I’d never ask this of someone. Is she a cf?
Would you pay?
YABU- just go with it
YANBU- she is a cf!

The only bridesmaids dress I paid for was for my daughter to wear at my sisters wedding, low key wedding, my daughter was 18 yrs old but at college, I happily paid £100.
Now it's my daughter getting married and guess who is paying for the bridesmaids dresses (plus half of the whole wedding cost) yup it's me 🙄
Your cousin is being a cf, if they're short of money then offer to buy your own dress but not at £350, that's outrageous

Nope. Every time I've been bridesmaid my dress has been bought for me, and when I got married I paid for my bridesmaids'. On every occasion the bridesmaids were involved in choosing but the bride had the final say.

The dress is beautiful, btw.

I rather think it’s more traditional for bridesmaids to buy their dresses. We always have for the girls. It doesn’t really matter but if the bride expects the maids to pay then they should be consulted about the cost.

What way did she approach you op about it? I had a friend who asked me to do this instead of a wedding present. I was happy to do this but she did pay for hair make up shoes bag etc .

No, I think that's terrible. We had expensive bridesmaid dresses which I chose (with approval from the girls), and they came out of the wedding budget like everything else.

How tight to indulge in a wedding, but ask the bridesmaids to pay for something they haven't chosen and aren't actually benefitting from!

£350 for a dress you

A) haven’t picked yourself

B) will never wear again

FUCK. THAT

I’d never pay £350 for any dress, never mind a bridesmaid dress for someone else’s wedding!

She is a monumental CF expecting you to fork out for this and you’re not being unreasonable at all. If she wants you to wear £350 dresses then she pays for them, otherwise she needs to get in the real world

No way!

Not trying to be mean but it's not the nicest dress either, it is very 'prom' and it's unlikely you'll wear it again ;unless you love it in which case, sorry!)

She's cheeky. She pays, she chooses.

I've been a bridesmaid three times and I've never paid for my dress!

Hahaha no. As PPs have said, £350 for the dress will just be the start of it and it's not you who looks cheap.

Have a look on the Monsoon website. LOADS for under £100. Tell her no, it's waaaay to expensive and OTT.

I think it's a beautiful gown, but certainly not appropriate to wear anywhere but a ball/prom/BM dress. My BM dresses were £250 each but we paid. We also bought their shoes, wrap, and jewellery!

I paid for my bridesmaids' dresses and more recently DD had her dress paid for by my sister when she got married.

I'd say "I would love to be your bridesmaid but £350 is far beyond my budget so I won't be able to, so sorry".
I think she has been really rude.

Ok, that is a gorgeous dress but when are you ever going to be to wear it again? It’s also not something BF that’s going to sell easily on eBay after.

For £350 I’m wearing that to Tesco.

YANBU.

I worked in the bridal industry for around 10 years. I can only recall 3 times when the bridesmaids paid for their own dresses. Each time you could see the tension between the bridesmaids and bride.

It is very unusual for a bridesmaid to pay for their own outfit.

I’ll take your £350 and make you the dress of your dreams! It’ll convert to a onesie for the evening party if you want it to 😂

Missing the point completely, buts a very pretty dress. Just rather bridal / promy which you won't wear again

*no idea what the BF is autocorrected from...

My DD was a bridesmaid 3 years ago and the time she was expected to give was unbelievable! She was doing a full time post grad course at the time that 100% mattered to her career. Without a high pass mark - no career!

The bride wanted her to keep going to her home town in Lancashire from London to try food, look at venues, meet the parents, choose dresses, meet the make up artist etc etc etc. Also organise the hen do. And choose the hymns and readings. And choose the flowers. It was never ending! She didn’t pay for the dress but the train fares were a joke - and the time it took.

The baby shower attendance the now married bride wanted was politely refused by DD. (Working late)! She bought a lovely present when baby arrived. This continual high level of expectation is a nightmare.

DD says she won’t have bridesmaids! So I guess it’ll be down to me if she marries. But we would never ask bridesmaids to pay for their dresses!

They choose they pay. I’d ask MN to delete the picture though or the price of the dress will be the least of your problems.

It actually looks a bit "bridal" for my taste!
She's a CF - not a chance would I be paying £350 to be someone else's bridesmaid. That's just the start. What about hair, nails, make up, shoes etc etc

The B&G pays for bridesmaids but not the MOH (traditionally in my culture).

Politely decline.

Nope. I am not spending that amount on a dress for somebody else's wedding personally.

It's quite a nice one, but I don't love it, and I wouldn't out of principle. I might spend £350 on the shoes, at a push.

Bride is deluded. She should choose dresses that she likes and can afford. How many bridesmaids and how expensive the dresses depends on her budget. Being a bridesmaid should be a treat and honur not a chore or cost an arm and a leg.

She's having a laugh. I'd happily stand down gracefully with regret from this honour.

I have no problem with paying for a bridesmaid dress, but at that price it would be a bit fat no from me. I think anything more than £100 the b&g should be paying. Though I'd happily pay the same amount I would on an outfit if I was just a normal guest.