To tell people that my twins are five?

[lukasiak]

Even though they technically don't turn five until November?

Dh is in a right hump about it. He thinks by me telling everybody that they are already five that it makes people place age inappropriate expectations on them. I think it's all just semantics, and those who actually need to know their real age know it. It's a bad habit I picked up from my mother, and my older children have survived me rounding their age up once their birthdays drew close with out being labelled as having additional needs, as seems to be DH's primary concern.

Is it really that big of a deal?

He’s right, you’re wrong.

It is weird and you need to stop it.

My dd is 13 in November. If anyone asks how old she is I say she is 12. When she’s 13 I’ll say she is 13.

@NameChange84 definitely abusive 😥😥 There are 5 children being controlled by this woman. It's simply horrible 😔

I've never heard of this in my life before - so there's no " oh soon you will be a big boy/girl and you will be 5 " type stuff ?

The whole entire point of celebrating birthdays is to mark the passage of time so it’s easy to remember what age your children are.

Stop telling yourself a lie in your head. How does it help you or anyone else? It’s no easier to ‘remember’ that your children are 4 than 5, or 13 than 14.

How puzzling.

My son is four in a month. His age now is three. Or nearly four. But not four. He’s three.

That’s like celebrating your 40th 8 months early. You’re actually adding quite a significant amount of time on if they’re not that age till November. Do you put your tree up in August!

@GinWithRosie

You sound like a horrible, horrible mother...I've read your other posts on other threads and you need help! You are abusing your children. You are controlling and manipulative. I can't actually believe your DH has not done something to protect them before now...

You have stated in another thread that you hit your children...and would continue to do so even if it were made illegal in law! You punish them for being lazy by closing the gate on an ice rink and telling them to 'skate or freeze' (one can only presume that they are not clothed in appropriate cold weather garments by this statement!) You also said that you only follow the laws that you agree with and 'ignore the rest'!

And now this...which is just batshit! Your poor children 😥

I don't know what other posts the OP has put on, but that's a pretty harsh post. If you actually think a child is being abused maybe you should flag it to Mumsnet. If not, don't say things like that.

I’d say four. Simply because when I was young my DM always did this and I found it really embarrassing when people asked, “When are you going to be six?” And I then had to explain I wasn’t even five yet!

Jesus, just read the other posts people are referring to. I’d say age confusion is the least of your kids’ worries. Fruitcake.

@JustGieMePeace What Rosie has written (and what I also wrote earlier) is word for word what the OP said in the smacking thread yesterday. It’s not harsh. It’s the truth.

It’s an odd compulsion you’ve got there OP.
To constantly lie about your children’s ages. Weird.
Age doesn’t change until the day of their birthday.

There's nothing funny or quirky about this, you just come across as a liar. It's really sad for your children that lying is such a normal occurrence to you

No No No! Stop doing this!

My mum has always done this from as far back as I can remember. It can be months away from my birthday and she would yell me “you’re almost whatever age now” and it’s left with me anbelievable fear of the passing of time and getting older! I’ve always felt like I’m racing against the clock and time is moving too fast. Please allow your children to be the age they REALLY are and don’t age them prematurely!

[quote NameChange84]@JustGieMePeace What Rosie has written (and what I also wrote earlier) is word for word what the OP said in the smacking thread yesterday. It’s not harsh. It’s the truth.[/quote]
I repeat. If people have concerns about abuse then report it.

My 2 and a half year old is 3 in November. I’m still saying 2 and a half. It doesn’t really matter but I’m inclined to agree with your DH.

It's not even nearly true, completely unnecessary, confusing for your children and makes you sound deranged to your husband. What's more, one day some aquaintance will notice the lie and you'll look deranged to them too.

I round my age up because have always thought the trope of the women who is embarrassed about her age odd. You either get old or you die. Why be upset about your age? I was saying was 30 since about age 28. Now it’s 40 when am only 38. Or am I 37? See when you round up I find you just forget your age & it doesn’t become a big deal.

Also look young for my age so perhaps a bit of it is shock value, because don’t “look” or “act” like someone nearly 40. It’s a bit of fun that is based on poking fun at people who are worried about ageing & the number age they are

If you think you look old or haggard, wouldn’t it be better to round your age up so you look arguably better for that age? If you round your age down then arguably you look average or worse for that age.

Also when you turn 1 you are now entering your 2nd year of life. So this is why mentally I can understand how someone can round up.

But not for children, for whom each year signifies a lot more, a lot more growing to do between each age. There is a vast difference between 4 & 5. Between 37 & 38, not so much.

At age 58 I will definitely have been saying “I’m almost 60!” For awhile am sure, should I be so lucky as to actually achieve this age one day.

Very odd. Why not use their proper ages.

How do you even celebrate their birthdays? Surely it causes confusion if you say they are 5 now and in November and have their birthday do people buy a card with 6 on it? And do you get a cake with 5 candles?

But I also see birthdays as just another day & no big fuss. All you did was not die for another 365 days....so am loathe to mark the Occassion, as I perceive it to be essentially meaningless.

[quote GinWithRosie]@NameChange84 definitely abusive 😥😥 There are 5 children being controlled by this woman. It's simply horrible 😔[/quote]
Oh please, my children do whatever they want, when they want, and have never wanted for anything in their life. Ds16 decides at 13 that he wanted to attend a specialist sports academy on the opposite side of the world that would cost me almost £50k a year? You best believe that I made it happen. On the flip side, Dd13 decides that she would rather attend the local high school rather than the private school I had picked out for her? That's fine by me too. I'm allowed to control my 3 and 4 year olds. Putting them on ice and closing the gate is no different than a time out in their room, especially if we're already at the rink. If they then decide they want to lie on the ice and have a tantrum, yeah, they're going to freeze. That's their choice.

I've never known anyone round up ages before! Surely it takes the shine off for them when they reach their actual birthdays?

@vikingwife What a weird justification for plain lying. I couldn't care less about my age, I don't feel any need to lie about it. What you're describing is just self obsessed nonsense.

It is weird

My husband does this too

As a result, if their ages are needed for any forms, he gets himself completely confused about their real age

Ever since the kids are teens, they relentlessly mock him now if he does it

They’ve been more effective at stopping this nonsense than me

If you asked DH how old I am he would have to think really hard and get it wrong by a year

It’s kind of “I know better “ attitude, so the whole world uses a system but you (and my DH) know better....

Jut stop it

What a weird thing to do! Makes it seem you cannot count, or have no basic concept of numbers.

What do you do on their actual birthday? Will they then be 5 and a half?