To tell people that my twins are five?

[lukasiak]

Even though they technically don't turn five until November?

Dh is in a right hump about it. He thinks by me telling everybody that they are already five that it makes people place age inappropriate expectations on them. I think it's all just semantics, and those who actually need to know their real age know it. It's a bad habit I picked up from my mother, and my older children have survived me rounding their age up once their birthdays drew close with out being labelled as having additional needs, as seems to be DH's primary concern.

Is it really that big of a deal?

My DD is 6 in November. Would be weird to be refer her as being 6 already. She's 5.5. I'm with your dh

They are 4.5. In Oct/early Nov they will be nearly 5. They are not remotely nearly 5 4 months away. That's a third of the year. People will assume they have just finished Reception.

Also this is me rounding up my age myself, not a parent deciding to do it for me. I hope your kids don’t hear this - because it’s the kind of thing which can confuse kids & cause fights in the playground - they will be insisting they are 5 because mummy says so & other kids will tease them & day they are wrong & call them liars. It’s nice for a child to be able to look forward to their birthday.

I remember being really proud as a kid when finally tuned double digits. You are essentially taking those moments away for them which are significant milestones because it’s easier for you.

Must be so confusing for your kids. And it’s inaccurate. It’s just really weird of you OP 🤣

@lukasiak sliding around on an ice rink in skates where there's a good chance of falling is scary for a young child. You're removing the opportunity of safety from them. Their 'tantrums' are probably them being overwhelmed by fear and their parent, who they should be able to trust to keep them safe, is denying them a feeling of safety.

Yeah and I agree with PPs that doing it is very self-focused of you (makes it easier for you?!) and neglects your kids’ relationships with their own progress and milestones.

That’ll be £50k rounded up from significantly less than £50k, one assumes. This is the trouble with being a fibber.

I feel very sorry for your children, are you this dismissive about other things? Do you get their names wrong and not bother to correct yourself? Do you make a fuss of them on their actual birthdays? What a weird and pointless thing to do.

Out of genuine curiosity do their birthdays go by unremarked upon and as if they were any other day? Surely they won't be excited about their actual birthdays if they have already spent months as the new age?

Yeh I’d just say their real age, maybe start doing that

Yeah I'm with the general consensus. They're four, four and a bit or five in November/coming up to 5. I even give my dog the respect of giving the right age up until the day before his birthday it was "he's 1 tomorrow". Never heard of rounding up a name or using only one child's birthday to round another child up 8 months. Just say their actual age, it's not that tough.

Haha, just seen you put ‘almost £50k a year’. Dread to think how much less than £50k it actually is for you to qualify it with an ‘almost’

It's even weirder if Op's children are competing from such an early age. People's expectation change with age. If the child can do something at 4 it maybe exceptional and really advanced, but at 5 maybe not so much. So basically Op is putting their children under huge expectation by saying they are actually older than they are?

@JustGieMePeace seriously? Which part of 'hitting children even if it were illegal', punishing them by actually telling them "skate or freeze" and openly saying that she only follows laws that she agrees with, are you ok with? Because that is EXACTLY what the OP said (and more!) on a thread yesterday! Posters on that thread, too, were horrified by her assertions, but she was dismissive towards them, saying that 'her way' is good for making children do as instructed. It was horrible to read.

And, as @NameChange84 has already said, she's posted about being 'disappointed' in her 16 year old DS for his 38 hours a week exercise routine...because she wanted him to be a ballet dancer, and 'forcing' her 3 year old to do figure skating to fulfil her own dreams.

So I'm confident in my opinion that she is controlling and manipulative...which is by its very nature, abusive!

There birthday isn't close though?

*their

@Pikachubaby I do this to myself! DH is four months older than me so when he hits that age, I start thinking of myself as that age also. Every year when my birthday is approaching my brain hurts trying to remember what age I actually am / going to be. I get very confused. (But would never do it with DS.)

[quote Chungus]@lukasiak sliding around on an ice rink in skates where there's a good chance of falling is scary for a young child. You're removing the opportunity of safety from them. Their 'tantrums' are probably them being overwhelmed by fear and their parent, who they should be able to trust to keep them safe, is denying them a feeling of safety.[/quote]
They've been skating since before they could walk. They know how to fall, it's the very first thing you're taught. They're tantruming because they want hot chips from the canteen, or a public skater has their penguin and they have to play with a different one, or Ds2 has the red skate gaurds and Ds3 wants them. Just normal kid stuff.

They are 4, why on earth would you be telling people they are 5?
'They are 4, 5 in November' if it bothers you that much.

No, they haven't been skating since before they can walk. Can you speak a sentence without exaggerating or lying?

Really weird. Why do you want people thinking your kids are older than they are? Are you desperate for them to grow up. Will people think less of a 4 year old than a 5 year old? Are you a restless or impatient person? What’s your reason?

I've read some stupid things on here and this is right up there. Even more stupid that you do it to random strangers making conversation, they don't even care!

Are you just going to blatantly ignore any ones questions regarding if you will stop, what you do on their actual birthdays etc?

[quote GinWithRosie]@JustGieMePeace seriously? Which part of 'hitting children even if it were illegal', punishing them by actually telling them "skate or freeze" and openly saying that she only follows laws that she agrees with, are you ok with? Because that is EXACTLY what the OP said (and more!) on a thread yesterday! Posters on that thread, too, were horrified by her assertions, but she was dismissive towards them, saying that 'her way' is good for making children do as instructed. It was horrible to read.

And, as @NameChange84 has already said, she's posted about being 'disappointed' in her 16 year old DS for his 38 hours a week exercise routine...because she wanted him to be a ballet dancer, and 'forcing' her 3 year old to do figure skating to fulfil her own dreams.

So I'm confident in my opinion that she is controlling and manipulative...which is by its very nature, abusive! [/quote]
Jeezo. I have never once made any comment on how OP treats her kids. I haven't read any of the posts you're talking about. What I'm saying is, if you have concerns about welfare or abuse raise it in the appropriate manner to actually try and help instead of ranting on Mumsnet.

If they then decide they want to lie on the ice and have a tantrum, yeah, they're going to freeze. That's their choice. Is it not a bit bizarre to think that a 3 year old is “choosing” to have a tantrum? Instead of a tantrum being the side effect of big confusing emotions that they don’t understand? Heck, as a fully grown adult I don’t choose to throw a tantrum... sometimes I get a bit overwhelmed and angry and that’s just how it manifests itself (and in this context, a tantrum doesn’t tend to be throwing myself on the floor but rather things like refusing to empty the dishwasher and shouting “it’s not my fucking turn again!”)