To tell people that my twins are five?

[lukasiak]

Even though they technically don't turn five until November?

Dh is in a right hump about it. He thinks by me telling everybody that they are already five that it makes people place age inappropriate expectations on them. I think it's all just semantics, and those who actually need to know their real age know it. It's a bad habit I picked up from my mother, and my older children have survived me rounding their age up once their birthdays drew close with out being labelled as having additional needs, as seems to be DH's primary concern.

Is it really that big of a deal?

Their birthday is in November. Then, when they're 4 years + 4 months, you claim that they are 5, just because another child has a birthday in March? And you say you do this because there are two years between them and the March-born child?

Your problem is you can't add up.

There are 16 months between them and the March-born sibling. That's closer to one year than two. Much closer. There is actually a year and a third between them. You could round up to 'a year and a half', if you want to talk in years not months. Rounding to the nearest whole number takes you down to one.

What's confused you, is that they were born in calendar years numbered two apart. But.... they are only one school year apart.

Once all at school, they are very obviously going to be only a year apart. They're not even at extremes of the school year, they're all quite middling. Effectively one year apart.

You would have failed 'rounding up' in Year 3 maths.

One of my parents did this and I found it infuriating, like my own parent didn't know how old I was or constantly expected me to be further advanced. I know my feelings on it might not be your children's feelings but I can't think of a single good reason to keep doing it and lots of good reasons to stop. Please stop.

I do it for myself. Not that I am asked my age a lot?

Round up in my own head from about April onwards (I'm a Mid June Birthday and like to get used to my new age ).

But not for the kids. In fact even if I was asked close to their birthday I'd probably say "she is 3 next week"

It's odd but not abusive

God, talk about a wild ride. You've gone the full smiler. The smacking thread went like this:
"I occasionally whack my kids hands."
"Dramatic gasp: that should be illegal."
"Doesn't matter if it's illegal. I'd still do it."

This is not normal. It’s as evil and batshit as the Mommie Dearest stuff you reference.

It’s not normal and it’s not acceptable to “whack” your children’s hands.

It’s not normal to think you are above the law, especially when it’s there to safeguard children.

@NameChange84

*God, talk about a wild ride. You've gone the full smiler. The smacking thread went like this: "I occasionally whack my kids hands." "Dramatic gasp: that should be illegal." "Doesn't matter if it's illegal. I'd still do it."*

This is not normal. It’s as evil and batshit as the Mommie Dearest stuff you reference.

It’s not normal and it’s not acceptable to “whack” your children’s hands.

It’s not normal to think you are above the law, especially when it’s there to safeguard children.

But it's not against the law, is it?

@lukasiak it’s against the law to hit your children.

Ignoring everything else on this thread are you actually going to stop?? Are you now going to say their actual age or do you still think its fine and you'll keep doing it despite all the comments saying otherwise??

That is a bit weird when your twins aren't five.

From a child's perspective, I remember how much pride I took in being precise and pedantic about age. Especially when 4 and three-quarters.

From a parent's, I know what a huge developmental difference there was in my own child, from just turned four, to four and a half. Vast.

[quote NameChange84]@lukasiak it’s against the law to hit your children.[/quote]
It's illegal to beat your child hard enough to leave a mark. It is not illegal to smack their hands. And it's definitely not illegal to take your kids iceskating. At least, not where I live.

It's not illegal to take them ice-skating, but it's cruel to shut them on the ice screaming and refuse them the opportunity to get off.

@TinySleepThief

Ignoring everything else on this thread are you actually going to stop?? Are you now going to say their actual age or do you still think its fine and you'll keep doing it despite all the comments saying otherwise??

Yes, I'm willing to admit defeat and wave the white flag. They are 4, not 5.

...And from the pov of your interlocuter, you're implicitly misinforming them about your twins' school year, which is a weird thing to do.

In England, a child who is five, is going into Year 1 in September. Your twins will be starting Reception.

If you told me they were five, I might ask which school they attend, whether they enjoy it and what Reception teacher they have. (As you'll know from expeirence, if you really do what you claim to be doing here).

It's illegal to beat your child hard enough to leave a mark. It is not illegal to smack their hands. And it's definitely not illegal to take your kids iceskating. At least, not where I live.

It’s illegal to hurt them.

This all seems moot though, I’m sure you’re standards of parenting don’t come down to whether something is illegal or not.

Is it the case that everyone you tell someone their age those people become critical of your children's achievements???? That's weird.

If my birthday was in November there is no way would i be saying i am 55 when i was still 54. There is nowt as strange as fowk

Don't the kids correct you? Mine surely would.
With youngest DD, she was very tall and always looked a lot older than she was. So, she was the height of a year 2 when starting reception. Combined with my short stature and her speaking difficulties I would often get into an convo very early "She is only 3 (or whatever her real age was), she has a tall Dad!" To avoid too much judgment about her SEN. She is 12 now and all caught up (and 5'6"!)

It’s weird to claim your children are 5 when they are such a long way off actually being 5. Even more weird if you then say their birthday is in November, so that the listener would then assume they will be 6 in four months‘ time. The reason it is weird at that age is that you are proportionally adding a lot to their age, and developmentally, there is a big difference between a child who is just over 4.5 years old and a child who is over 5 years old. It wouldn’t be an issue once they are adults, but is at that age in terms of expectations of their behaviour and development.

Really, really weird.

All of it.

Are you from the UK? You sound like my Asian/Eastern European family

Very weird. They are 4, how bizarre.

This is one of the strangest things I've ever read on Mumsnet, and that really is saying something!

It's illegal to beat your child hard enough to leave a mark.

Oh well, in that case whack a way, just as long as you don’t leave a mark.

You aren’t a good mother. You are abusive to your children. Just because you don’t get caught or prosecuted doesn’t mean you aren’t damaging your children.

I’m not wasting my life arguing with you. But as former skater myself and a Trustee of a Figure Skating Club, you should know that Safeguarding policies in sport are getting stricter everyday and if you behave the way you say you do at the rink or in public, it won’t be long before SS are at your door.

It’s wired, technically you are lying, why?

What must your children think if you say this in front of them, they will be very confused when they then have their 5th birthday.

41/2, 5 in November, whatever is true but not 5, it’s a lie and not a good example to set.

Weird not wired